Today is my mother’s birthday. If she was still alive, she would be 70 years old today.

I imagine we would be having a big party because reaching 70 is pretty impressive. We had a big party for her when she turned 50 and I am really glad we did. It would be the last birthday celebrated. She had cancer then and we knew that it would be the last one, really, to celebrate and it was. She did make it to her 51st birthday, but was on her deathbed  and she was in a coma. If there was a birthday wish, it was that this fight would be over and she would just pass.  She died two days later on the evening of January 27th, 1995.

To Honor My Mother; I Cause a Ruckus

So instead, in honor of her birthday, I am going live with my version of an Adoption Fundraiser. I am sick and tired of seeing tons of want to be adoptive parents trying to raise money for the outrageous adoption fees demanded by all the “nice non-profit adoption agencies”.  I can’t stand that it is OK for the adoptive parent to beg for hand outs and help, but if a mother to be ever had a fund raiser people would be all over her for daring to be pregnant and not able to pay outrageous hospital bills.

It’s snarky. It’s obnoxious. It’s truthful. And really I hope that it gets people upset. I hope that people get offended and share it because they are just so freaked out by it.

Save Poor Baby Matthew!! He Needs to be Adopted!

Officially, it’s the ‘Help “Baby Matthew” Find His “Forever Family” ” Adoption fund raiser.

See, my mother always had a thing for baby boys in sailor suites.  My brother, who really is named Matthew, was born in 1980, when I was almost 12. This lovely Ashton-Drake doll came out in 1987. A little boy. In  a sailor suit. And his name really was Matthew. She bought him and for as long as I could remember, he sat there in her bedroom on her dresser.

When my mom passed and we closed up the house, I boxed up “Baby Matthew”; carefully, wrapping him in bubble wrap, securing the box with tape and moved him off Long Island and up to the Hudson Valley. When I bought my house, he, in his box, went up to the attic where, I will confess, I completely forgot about him.

The Unwanted, Forgotten Child

So before Thanksgiving, when I was cleaning the attic, I came upon a few boxes shoved way deep under the eves.  Truthfully, I had no idea what they were, but found that they were the boxes of things from my mother’s house that were earmarked for my brother. As my brother was 14 when my mom passed and then later a young guy in college and crappy apartments, I kept his “treasures’ for him safe in my house. He’s 34 now and has a condo and a permanent live in ladylove, so when they came for Turkeyfest this year I was like “Dude, you are taking your shit!” I mean, really, I have been safekeeping his old report cards and 6th grade book reports and art projects for 19 years now. Enough.

“Baby Matthew” was one of the items in his boxes.

However, “Baby Matthew” was not welcome to go back to Massachusetts with Matt and Jen. I think it kind of went like this:

Jen said,” THAT Thing is not coming back to our house!”

Matt chuckles, “Come on, he’s cute?”

“No, really! THAT is NOT coming BACK with US.”

I am not a huge fan of baby dolls either, so I can understand. It would be like Rye trying to make me live with a life sized clown poster over my bed. Not gonna happen. No way.

So Matt and Jen left with all his stuff, but alas, Baby Matthew was sitting alone in my attic.

I have no use for this thing.  Really, he is UNWANTED. So, I am auctioning him off just like a real adoptee baby who needs a real family to love him. I RELINQUISH him, but not playing any games here. Not making this look all pretty with nice bows and rainbows. He goes to the highest bidder. If you want the doll, you got to pay for it. ( there is also ebay)

See, just like adoption!

Yeah, I might just make some noise at the same time. After all, I do like to image that my mother would be by my side, fighting for the injustice, welcoming Max home, etc.

The fundraiser runs until March 17th which happens to be my grandmother’s birthday.

Please feel free to share especially to those who you think might not really appreciate it.