You know what they say about having expectations? How they are our own worst enemy? I mean, I don’t trust talk show, I know the whole idea of sensationalism, I tried not to go in blind, be prepared, be ready for the worst. I had even stock responses ready if, for whatever reason, things got way off track and personal and I didn’t want to feel obligated to go somewhere I was not comfortable doing.
Getting ready to be THE adoption expert on the Montel show consumed the last 6 days of my life. From the first phone call on Friday last week I have been preparing, From digging up stats to studying notes, preparing paperwork, printing. Getting the look together..new suit, new shirt, new shoes, new jewelry (about 300$) Over four hours in the salon chair making my hair look more professional. (another 137). I took time off from work. ( more negative cash flow)..so not only did it cost me time, but money too.
The car picked me up right on time at high noon. I have to say that it was a lovely ride to NYC. Nothing like having a chauffer driven BMW to make you feel…like Hilary Clinton. Yeah, overall..with suit and hair..every time I looked in the mirror..I just was overcome with visions of Hilary.
But really, that wasn’t so bad. I mean looking like Hilary Clinton is better than looking like a glorified waitress from the boonies who likes to pretend that she is not almost 40.
So I took a nap on my way in. The ride…was real nice. The ride was…the best part.
Now I went into this all..the TV experience.. not knowing what to expect as I have never filmed a talk show before. And that was OK. So the fact that it was chaos was cool with me. After all they film three shows a day so I can understand that. And I could not complain the how so not swanky the studio was…and control my latent interior designer self who wanted to turn up her nose. I didn’t even mind the endless waiting in the mythical “green room” ..also not green…. It was fun to sit in the makeup chair and get all done up. The make up artist even confirmed that indeed I do look like Cindy Lauper as she has worked on her before..so all those folks who say that to me at the restaurant…OK you are right. It was just as nice to have someone else fix my newly repaired coif and make it even more Hilary.
I didn’t care that I sat all day. Though by 5 I was anxious to finally just do it. So, the last minute going over the show with the producers…I didn’t get to meet nor talk to Montel until I actually was being filmed. They tell me that they have an adoption lawyer on too as another guest. Great. He’s from Florida..not A Chosen Child..which I could have ripped into with my eyes closed..so I panic as I have no laptop and I can’t get any background. I consider calling home in a panic, having Rye get me Kelly’s number that is < DOH> sitting on my desk..and hoping she is available to feed me info. But I decide that I can handle it..afterall I have studied my notes and key phrases to death. I even stop reading them and just say..Ok I am ready. Yeah, I have a feeling that, maybe, I am going to be set up? After all I had to sign some waiver that says how I understand that they might pull punches and I might get upset and I can’t sue.
So they move the other guest, three sets of adoptive parents, down stairs, and then come get me and the lawyer, Jeff. We get to hang out in some other not swanky area while they begin to film the first segments and we can watch the fed so we know what has gone on.
As we are waiting, we begin to chat. And he asks me what I am..and is totally flabbergasted..lol:
“what do you mean adoption reform? What’s wrong with adoption”
“What’s not wrong with adoption? Let’s just say I am not a fan”
“Not fan of adoption? I don’t understand”
“Well let’s see….how about the mess of laws, how about uninformed consent, how about open records, now about coersion”..etc.
I can tell that he really is just amazed hat someone might not think that adoption is the greatest thing in the world.
So he say…”well, what about when the birthmother is a crack head?’ And I am like ready to pee my pants..as I am going to let him go off on his tirade about Crack whore birth mothers and THEN I am going to say so sweetly how thanks but *I* am not a crack head and neither are many others…BUT then one of the show people who knows his sisters kid or something breaks in and starts yapping with him and then suddenly. I am swooped and moved back upstairs. “They have decide to keep us separate” Okay…so I am back up in my green room…waiting.
( edit to add..I have found the lawyer guy..Jeff Kasky..and I DO like that he does not have some lie filled crap bull website. Makes me almost want to continue that conversation…)
So they start the show. And from the first minute in..I am like Oh noooooo. First, Montel lets on that HE is thinking about adoption. And that he needs to know this stuff too. Then surprise, he had decided at the last minute to have on, in shadow, the sound chick who is in the middle of a Guat adoption and exploit her feelings..so a time sucker. So the producer girls, who were all really sweet, are going “What is he doing?..Man, he is all over the place!” And I can clearly see that this show is ALL about the poor, poor adoptive parents. Gulp. I am thinking that I will be lynched. I mean he is flipping out about how horrible it must have been for these folks to lay out all this money to get a baby and then come home to an empty room and never get over it. Meanwhile, Jeff, the lawyer is out there..not on stage, but in a chair..so they cut to him who actually says “ Florida has some of the tightest laws and they consider the rights of both the adoptive parents and the birth mothers and it is all about the best interest of the child”..I can’t even do anything …I am not there. I choke alone ..waiting.
So the first couple got scammed by the dateline scammer..and even the father is pushing out some tears. Meanwhile they keep calling her the “birthmother” and she was never even pregnant..she was just a scammer. Then Montel goes into this long tirade about even now that they have adopted another boy, do they wonder what happened to that little girl they didn’t get. What girl? There was NO baby? It was a fantasy baby!!! But according to Montel, they will spend the rest of their lives mourning over a baby that NEVER EXISTED!! Yeah, I am soo set up. Looking back at this point, I should have been like, hey…take back your 25 bucks ( yeah, we all got 25 dollars to appear!! Woohoo!), I can’t take part in this. But I am still thinking that I can say a few good lines? Maybe?
Then the next couple went to Guat and got kicked out of PGN coz the signatures didn’t match up. I am thinking that it sounds very familier as I have heard of this before and is actually a sign that they system is working. But then their agency asked them to send bribe money so they backed out. OK..unethical and they were cool about it. They were like all..OK we couldn’t have kids, we didn’t do well with adoption, maybe we are just not meant to be parents. And again, Montel is all about how this ruined their lives..and then he is shouting to the lawyer guy..”Hey how can we get these people a baby! They deserve to be parents!!” Yes, I should have ran away and took a train back home. Screw the nice ride.
So finally I get to go on. By this time I can see that there is NOT much time left. I was even wondering if they were going to use me at all. But I get to go on. I sit next to Montel. I kick him in the leg as I go to cross my legs. Yipes! But he’s cool. He introduces me..and I basically get to say ..nothing.
Yes, I got to say that adoption is all about the money. I got to say that it was worth 1.4 billion in 2000 and project even conservatively at 11.4 % growth to over 3 billion by the end of this year. Yes, I got to make a snide comment when he referred to Madonna’s adoption. Something along the lines of Montel saying “ I am not a rich white singer so I can’t go and just buy a baby. And I said heck, you got the cash, you could buy a baby..and then he said it wouldn’t work because he was a black man and you have to be a white lady. Whatever…I am not into playing some race thing.
I know I got to expain..I don’t know why..I was trying to lead into something! How the three main forms of adoption, Foster, international and domestic..and how foster is where the kids really don’t have homes..and when people say all “ohh all those kids” it’s the foster kids, but no one really wants them..and that IA’s people like because you are basically guaranteed a baby at the end, and I did say something about making the reins tighter for domestic adoption then maybe the kids who really need homes might get them….Damn, I even said the damn birthmother word ! UGGG! Slaps self! Like I knew that the audience at this time was so primed to be all so “poor poor heartbroken adoptive parents” that I had to tread gently or no one would hear anything..but I basically got to say NOTHING.
Nothing about how the scams work both ways and that natural families get screwed. Nothing about lack of open agreements. Nothing about reform..the movement, reference SoA, or Origins, or loss or even that I AM ONE OF THOSE HORRIBLE BIRTHMOTHERS that we have just blasted!!( who just happens to look like Hilary Clinton). NOTHING!!!
In fact, at one point, Montel is like bugging out. He is yelling about “How can he get a baby. Where can I get a baby? “..like on and on…and I am sitting next to him and trying not to physically recoil form the brunt force of his mad baby lust and overwhelming sense of entitlement that is in my face. I am really just grossed out. And he turns to me and says “How can I get a baby?” and I really really WANTED to say…you know that thing in your pants? But all I could mutter is “I can’t tell you that” because I DON’T SUPPORT YOU GETTING BABY MONTEL! Especially when you act like this! Like OMG,….Don’t ask ME that! And I tried so hard to say “ You know..its not about what you want, Montel…it’s suppose to be about finding a home for a child that needs it..not making you happy“, but I never got to say another word. He was a maniac I tell you..he hogs the damn show!
And even the “tips” that I so carefully prepared to expose potential Aps to read and get into the right places like blogs, SoA and OUSA…Montel asked the Lawyer for them…so he got HIS tips up..as I sat there.looking like…yeah, Hilary.
The only good thing is that Jennifer one of the producer girls, said that as Jeff was reading his tips. The camera panned to me and I was making one of my sarcastic “whatever, you are so full of shit” faces..and she said that it was priceless and she would make sure that it was not cut out.
And then..it was over. We got hustled out of there as fast as you could say boo. Get your bags, get your complimentary T-shirt and hat, and bet back into the BMW. I was able to say that it was like bad sex and it was.
Actually, it was more like first time sex…after planning a great romantic getaway or maybe thinking about losing your virginity after the prom? All the hype, making sure it is all perfect..and then really really disappointing sex. Like that’s it? That’s all it was? What about my needs?
I feel very, very frustrated and really…I wish I was not attached to that show. It is HORRIBLE. I am embarrassed. I don’t wish I didn’t do it, but it sure was not what I had expected. I am not even unhappy with my performance, which is what I feared..but the lack of time, not opportunity for me to even say anything really meaty, the total BIAS of the whole thing..really makes me sick. It just perpetuates the stereotypes and is gross. Yes, I can say I was on TV. I am glad I have that under my belt. Yes, it was an opportunity and MAYBE I got though to ONE person?? But I doubt that. It was BAD.
So I am trying to look at this as a good learning experience, but all and all, it was very disappointing. It defiantly was NOT the great marching in with truth as I would have like. I feel very sad. I feel like I let so many people down. And I know it is not MY fault..I tried. So I don’t blame me..or even the producers…I think they really wanted it to be better…but Montel….OMG..he just personified every bad stereotype of an prospective adoptive parent and he ruined it completely with his freak outs.
So all and all ..a total waste of time. Sigh. Don’t ask me when it will be on. The less people that see it the better. I just want to forget it ever happened.
ETA:
OK.. two years later, I have finially got it online!
Here i is, the Adoption Scam Fiasco on Montel
Oh Claud!! {{HUGS}} my friend. Every bit does help and maybe it will hit that one person and make all the difference in the world for them.
Hugs to you Claud…for making the effort, putting yourself out there and standing up!
Claud your efforts don’t go unnoticed…we love you and your work is doing good in so many places…maybe just not on Montel..and hey you looked really cute!!
I think your first time sex analogy was a good one. You had to do it SOMETIME. YOU needed to do THIS at SOME point to get the experience. You now have the experience. In the next few days and weeks you can look back and make adjustments and perhaps train how to take over a conversation from someone as maniacal as Montel. You’re strong enough to do it, you know that you are. This is just experience. You didn’t make an ass of yourself so there will be more opportunities. *hugs* I’m proud of you all the same. You know I am.
WHAT a set-up. I am SO not a Montel fan any more (and to think I was one who had faith. Duh. So much for my talk-show host instincts)
I think you were very brave, and I’m sure that whatever you said, and whatever expressions crossed your face, will add to that little bit of scepticism that might make a difference. Like my old gran used to say, “Every little helps.”
The black suit is a goody. You looked cool.
And I agree with Jenna – I bet you can learn to quell the maniacs, and get your points across.
This just makes me so angry. Claud, I tell you what. Let’s call his competitors, only next time, bring me with you. I am an adoptive mother and I obviously love my children, but I WILL support the reform and explain why it is not a threat to the poor old aparents. This isn’t about them and if they do not care about the voices of birthmothers or adoptees, then I have serious issues about adoption existing at all. Oh please take me with you to counter the aparents!
Ah, Thanks guys. I just am shocked about how it sucked. I think the producers were even embrassed. I can tell you, he was offenseive to the max. I think when it does air he will have a lot of mail back on how he totally missed the mark.
Yeah, T..I like that idea. I think this only goes to show that we really need to get that SoA PR together NOW..and make THAT happen OUR way!! If nothing else I am even more determined.
Heck, I have my new camera..I think the Claud show might be forthcoming!!
while not what you wanted/needed/expected, it was certainly not a waste of time. you learned something, right? you will be better next time, right? dont let the turkeys get you down.
i think you should write montel show, thank them and then tell them it was not what you expected, had hoped for and you should pitch a show for adoption corruption etc. you know enough moms that have been coerced, lied to abused (cough, like me).
dont give up. you are doing the right thing and i am proud to be associated with you.
checking my logon again
Why I never remember my log on I don’t know.
Anyway, want to hear my Montel Williams story?
Back when I was in high school, I think it was my junior year, Montel came to visit our school. I went to the worst school in the area, totally ghetto and scary. Montel decided that he wanted to inspire us so they asked that each teacher list the worst kids to go to the assembly. Nice kids weren’t supposed to go, but some teachers thought rewarding the jerks wasn’t cool and instead invited better kids. I didn’t go, but had a lot of friends go.
Montel shows up and proceeds to give the quit being a poor, minority asshole speech, that they should just get over themselves already. He did it, so they should too. I think e prattled on and on and on. The last bell of the day rang and the kids were starting to leave because half had to catch their school bus. Our buses were crazy, some would leave less than five minutes regardless if their were more kids on their way. Some would arrive 45 minutes after school ended to take kids home. And never could anyone know which their bus was going to do on any given day.
So the auditorium starts to empty because 1. no one wants to miss their bus, and 2. of the idiots that attended, not one wants to stay after the time required even if it is Montel Williams.
HAHAHAHAHA!
Montel freaks out. He is completely insulted that they are getting up and leaving. He insists the doors are closed so that no one leaves, and says that his watch knows the time better because it is a rolex after all. It was no little freak out either.
The school had to recall buses to come get the crazy number of people that missed their buses that day because of Montel Williams and his preaching.
Oh, dear Claud … I am soooo sorry!! What a horrible experience … AND, consider this: maybe, it is a gift … a blessing in disguise:
1. you got your first interview under your belt; it was awful, but short-lived, and it’s over.
2. you will never … n e v e r … be as vulnerable, as trusting, in similar situations (and there will be many!) ever again!
3. it’s only Montel …:)Now that we have your experience to judge him by, I am sadly disappointed that a man with so many opportunities for truth-telling used this one to misrepresent the facts about adopting.
We, who love you, will always be there for you/with you and we will not tolerate such disrespect for our spokespersons. I don’t know how each of us can do her little part to raise awareness about this abomination in our country, but we will;we must.
Com’ere, sweetie … {{{{Claudie}}}}
CB
Ok Claud,
I’ve been reading your “report” again and I am disgusted and feeling hopeless. How can attorney get on TV and talk about Florida’s stict laws? How can Montel do a show, invite a guest to show both sides, yes clearly direct the content to his liking or his personal agenda? How can he bring up race or any other disqualifier as if that adds to the “poor aparent” syndrome? Why bring in someone for reform or to talk about what is wrong with the eystem if you truly had no intent to listen? How and where can he bet a baby? What the hell were you supposed to say, JC Penney? This isn’t a transaction. Women are not baby makers. Woman are mothers who make gut wrenching life choices… they don’t disappear afterwards. NEWSFLASH Montel: You get new tires, a new house or new slippers, you don’t GET a baby. No one owes you or me or anyone a baby. Oh wait, they do… just not in my book. I am sad. I feel defeated. I am an adoptive mom and I automatically get lumped into this “it’s all about me” crap and I just can’t stand it. Rather than continually be associated with it, it makes me want to walk away if I can’t single myself out as different and as someone who actually gives a damn. Sorry Claud, not wanting to use your space. I am just disgusted reading the story. Just disgusted.
Claud
I’m proud of you, you tried, It can be considered practise,start with the worst and work your way up.
Sounds like he was all freak.
I used to have a customer that worked for him and she told me all these stories, she quit and said he was a nightmare to work for, I always wondered why she would want to quit a job like that, now It makes sense.
oh I am sorry sweetie, but I have so much faith in you, I feel like it can make a difference iven if it is a little bit now I just have to make myself believe that you are such a good influence on us all.
thankyou for fighting this tough fight,,,
ani
Claud,
I am SO proud of you. You did us all proud!! You were terribly outnumbered and it was nothing but flat-out sabbotage by Montel. You should feel good! Don’t think negatively about this experience.
You held your own, you maintained your dignity and you spoke for all of us!!
I couldn’t have done as well and you are to be highly commended for your bravery and composure. You walked into the Lion’s Den and came out stronger for it, wiser for it and we all love you for it!
It is a lesson for all of us to ask who else will be interviewed. What positions (agendas) might others have during the interview. It is your/our right to have answers to those questions beforehand.
You did GREAT, Claud!!
Standing, clapping, cheering!!
Claud you’re wonderful! I’m sorry Montel was such an ass. I hoped with him having MS he’d empathize a bit with an nomother’s experiences. Maybe ask some personal questions.It is disappointing/dismaying to read about his general attitude towards adoption. God I hope/pray he dosn’t get another child, the jerk.
Anyhoo, do let us know when it airs. I will most definitely (I’m sure all will) write a letter in protest.
Hugs and much admiration for your strength and authenticity….you my dear ROCK!!!!
Oh, (((Claud)))!
I’m so, so sorry.
You did your best. We know that. Thank you for trying, and for getting as much truth across as possible. ((Hugs))
Sounds like classic Montel. He’s constantly running his stupid mouth like he’s an expert on everything.
I’m sorry you went through this. When the show airs, I’ll send the show a message giving them a piece of my mind and letting them know how they just completely missed really understanding issues surrounding adoption.
You rock, Hilary! Montel is an ass but he knows what he is doing. He is just after the money. Truth will prevail.
PS. those are some sexy-ass-kickin shoes!
I’m so sick of the way the media treats adoption that I could puke.
Kudos, Claud, for having the guts to go on that show, and for going their serious and prepared. It’s his loss and his audience’s. And you gained the experience. When Oprah calls, you’ll be ready 🙂
I came across this quote from Teddy Roosevelt tonight and thought of you.
It is not the critic who counts, the credit belongs to the Man(woman) who is actually in the arena, who’s face is marred by dust and sweat and blood.
Who strive valiantly, who errs and comes short, who knows the great enthusiams, the great devotions
and spends himself(herself) in a worthy cause.
Who at best knows in the end, the triump of high achievement and who the worst, if he fails at least he fails while daring greatly.
You dared greatly. I know you dont like mush, but I’m proud of you.
MSP
I am sorry that this happened to you. what you have gone through is heartbreaking, and I cannot imagine what you have gone through for so long.
Montel sounds like he went crazy! I do have to say though, and maybe he should reconsider his job, but he does have multiple sclerosis, which impairs reasoning and thought, and also sexual function. Maybe the only way he can have a child is through adoption. Granted, he should not say “Ineed to get me a baby”, but maybe his poor sense is getting in the way?
i do believe that montel has 4 children of his own. why the urgency to adopt??
Claud,
I have learned so much from you, my sister. I want you to remember, that you are not alone. And, that your messages, verbal and non verbal, spoke truth, touched hearts, and when comparing to the Montel, and company, many people realize that he is the fool.
Remember, that you are not fighting this alone. We are beside you, we are fighting on the front lines beside you.
Hi, sorry you feel so bad about how the show went. (I did not see it.)
I’m so over these talk show gods and goddesses like Montel and Oprah. One day they say one thing, the next day something else but no one seems to notice their self-serving flip flopping. They are totally phony, pretend to be interested in others and their stories but are really only interested in themselves and their fame and their pocketbooks. They project care and kindness and moral authority, but I bet if we knew them in person, that is not what they are about at all.
But IMO if Montel thinks buying a baby is going to get him the accolades baby buyers have automatically received in the past, I think he may be in for a surprise. He may be blinded by baby-obsession and has not noticed that the times are changing. But those infected with baby-obsession seem to see their own reflection in others like themselves, exclude other input and are driven to stand up for them no matter what. (But he may not be serious, may just be looking for hero points and giving his audience what it wants to hear, or he would already know $ = adoption–unless he knows and is purposely covering up.)
Sounds like he really went off the deep end, kind of like Tom “Top Adopter” Cruise on Oprah’s couch?
You are so brave, Montel is SUCH a SPAZ, ohh
It’s just a stepping stone.
I promise I will write a letter when it airs, you just have to tell how to see a copy of it, I abhor tv
YOu tried Claud, that is the best any of us can do. Monetl is a freak as much as Maury, Jerry or Tom Cruise on Oprahs couch. Keep talking many are listening..
Claud,
You put yourself out there as an expert and someone to call if another (hopefully more respectable) talk show is looking for someone. That means a lot y’know. It’s just the beginning.
You probably did better than you think. And you would have looked great too, such a wonderful ambassador for us mums. Thank you for being out there. I am proud of you.
Claud,
I’m so proud of you for trying. You were set up – no? That’s one reason it’s nice to do YOUR OWN VIDEO as you well know. Then you can control the content.
Did you notice that squidoo allows you to link to things on utube? I think it would be a great way for you to get your message out.
Claud, I am sorry your experience was not what you had envisioned. The nature of talk shows is sensationalism and ratings, not accurate reporting of the facts. Montel is not alone and is not even one of the worst. It’s great to be on TV but realize, you must control or at least influence what is going to happen and not just go along for the ride.
mmm i liked montel….not now i guess…
since he has MS…i bet he won’t “qualify” to buy a baby.
Claud..thanks for trying, you did what you could..and it is better than nothing.
I’m practically speechless. That sounds horrible! Boo for Montel. He IS a spaz, I’ve noticed. Yuck.
Ack! Thanks for recounting your Montel Moment. You probably did better than you think. (I’m sure you don’t want to her that–it’s so patronizing! But I mean it) As you said though, it’s like first time sex–and it’s no fun.
Baby lust is a universal malady, but espeically virulent in the US. Nobody wants to hear what we have to say. After all, you got somebody to take your problem off your hands, and as a problem I should just be happy I wasn’t tossed into the dumpster. You, I, and our ilk are ungrateful because we dare criticize a corrupt system wrapped in the red white and blue with Bible a top the pretty package.
At least you got a free-shirt. When I went on the John Walsh Show to talk about baby dumps. I got nothing (but a $60 per diem) but got my picture taken with Walsh backstage after he beat me up.
Your experience with Montel mirrors my own experience with Walsh. I don’t like doing TV to start with and rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed what I’d say. I had all sorts of notes. I even took a book along that has a good chapter on doing TV and I read it repeatedly even in the dressing room. I worked in theatre for 15 years and practiced my voice, my body language–my stage presence. I got on stage and of course the whole thing fell apart. I felt like a fool at once. The patsy. Why did’t I stay home? Maybe I was just greedy for a free trip to NYC.
Of course, I was the last guest out the gate, which I’m sure was the way it was supposed to be from the start. I was told beforehand what Walsh would discuss with me. Surprise! We didn’t go there.
Walsh argued with me and the now- discredited Twyana Davis while slobbering attention over the baby dump addicts. Interestinghy enough, during the last break, one of the dump advocates came over and told me that she agreed with me. She was a nmom and she was looking for her kid. WTF???(Her kept kid had illegaly dumped a newborn) A year later I received several emails from another guest who also agreed with me. I’d changed her mind! She was looking for the mother of her 2 SH’d ababies and thought she’d located her. WTF redux??? Maybe you’ll hear from Lawyer Jeff someday thanking you for converting him.
Finally, to add insult to injury my segment was cut in half. I lost approx. 3 1/2 minutes in the final cut, while Walsh took the end of the show to discuss his role in the passage of the federal Amber Alert law, which in fact he had little to do with personally. He’d palmed off the job to somebody who worked for him, I was told, who then quit when he took the credit for her work.
Ultimately, I don’t regret doing the show (just my stupid performance!). Somebody has to stand up for our side. You never know who you reach with the show. The movement needs media martyrs.
Montel,
I will not watch this ass ever again, and I thought he might give us a chance.
As usual these people are only in this business for themselves, the money they can make, and how one can exploite others. Seems to me at least there should have been two sides to the equation, but no as usual he had the stage set, with arents and a adoption lawyer and himself who feels entitled to someone’s baby. Wonder why he asked you where he could get a baby, did he want you to give him one, what an idiot, BUY ONE thats what most of the show biz folks do, hey call Madonna, she might give him a good referral!
He needs a baby because he probably has remarried for the umpteenth time and his newest bride needs a baby so he is crying about it. I detest these show biz know it alls, including Oprah, too big for her pants, now Miss Know It All.Who’s show is boring, as hell, just like her progeny, Dr Ill. (I can’t count how many times he has sent emails for filling his show seats) Just wait she’ll be wanting a baby soon, after all her career was more important, along with money, fame, and herself.
gg
ps oh,tonight we get to look forward to another award show, to many awards, not enough work for my liking, and of course Christmas was promotion time for the books they write, or the new movie. WE need to kick these people to the curb. ENTITLED and ElITEST they are the type in our government too.
I just posted a short commentary on Bastardette: Fauxclaud’s Montel Moment. http://www.bastards.blogspot.com
Never expect your/our side to be told. It’s about the show and what sells and nothing elsepb
Wow, what an experience! My mind is just boggling!
Claud, I feel your pain. I did Geraldo. They had me on there with an adopted woman who’s birthmom sold her for a motorcycle! UGH!
Brenda Romanchik
((((((Claud))))) – Nothing is EVER wasted….I’m so proud of you for standing up. That is how Martin Luther King felt the first time he was on tv too, probably!
HUGS!!!!!!! You Rock!!!!!
I am really not sure what you expected.
I agree about the necessity for adoption reform, but when you — a person who is against adoption — is chosen as an “adoption expert,” well, it was pretty easy to see this coming.
Kudos for trying, but if adoption reform is going to be taken seriously, it will have to be by those who are not against it entirely.
hmmm….it does seem to me that every movement needs both its’ left wing outsiders/martyrs and then its’ middle of the roaders. Each has its’ place. Together they can move the hulking ship of public opinion and policy toward justice.
wanda
“Women are not baby makers. Woman are mothers who make gut wrenching life choices… they don’t disappear afterwards.”
Magicpointedshoes, Let me correct one part of your post. Mothers who surrender their babies are not making any kind of a REAL choice, because women in this country are sadly under-informed and over-inundated with warm-fuzzy adoption propaganda. Nowadays, the agencies just let the media and spin doctors do a lot of the coercion for them.
As long as you and others keep insisting that loss to adoption is some kind of real choice or decision on the part of the mother who hasn’t even had a chance to learn about what she is losing, we’ll never get heard.
8:04 Anon: you are wrong. With adoption, you are dealing with a dictatorship, not a democracy. Never forget that. Adoption doesn’t.
No one going on Montel or any of the other shows like this should expect any different treatment. What you get as interviewee on these programs is not a chance to explain yourself, but simply a chance to be a soundbite. Chances are that soundbite is going to be used to the host’s advantage–not to the advantage of you or your cause.
However, it doesn’t change the fact that Alot of folks in the reform movement seem hopelessly naive to me. They think they are going to simply wish or talk adoption away. If adoption today were simply about the tricking or coercion of birthmothers it probably would wither away. Unfortunately, the realities are a little more complicated.
Adoption largely exists because of socio-economic realities in America. Poverty is an issue that affects mostly women and children. You’ll find homeless men too, but most of them are in that boat because of mental illness or a problem like untreated drug abuse or alcoholism. You want to eliminate adoption? Eliminate or eradicate the social conditions that force millions of women to labor daily for a dollar or two an hour above the minimum wage. Until that happens don’t expect adoption to disappear.
The second factor that keeps adoption going that I seldom hear addressed is the role of churches. Europe is far less religious than America (it also does a better job of distributing income) and guess what? Domestic adoption in those countries is pretty much a thing of the past. Here in America church based attitudes about sex and immorality are still pervasive. Gay rights are still not really accepted by a huge percentage of the country. A significant number of people believe (albeit wrongly) that single pregnant mothers have no business being pregnant and that abortion is wrong. Draw a logical conclusion from that (Hint: If abortion is wrong and a significant number of people believe single pregnant women shouldn’t keep children there’s only one possibility left.)
I often hear reference to adoption as being a “1 billion dollar industry”. I hate to break the news to you, but in America that’s almost nothing. I can guarantee you that far larger proportions of GNP are involved in the pet food, hair cutting, frozen pizza, and the ball point pen industries. The argument that adoption is a profit-bloated, monolith that can crush anything in its path just doesn’t wash.
Until people in the reform movement realize that adoption exists in America for reasons other than “agency propaganda” we’ll never address the real problem. It surprises me that so few people see it.
Montel Williams should not be encourgaing anyone to buy a baby, let alone himself.
Considering the history of slavery it is astonishing that he would support the adoption industry, and it is quite sickening as well.
Perhaps Mr. Williams might read “The Stork Market” by Mirah Riben, and ask himself how many pedophiles he is encouraging to adopt out there?
I agree poverty is a real problem and part of the ingredient to the putrid adoption machine.
For those that wish to “improve” adoption think again. Adoption is about falsifying, altering and wiping out a persons identity. It is not about children, nor has it ever been. It is about adopters, and it is for adopters.
I also wonder how much Mr. Williams would like to be sold for, and why he would promote taking a persons heritage, roots, identity and truth away, along with their mothers, fathers, and other relatives?
Adults are not for sale, and babies should not be either.
It takes a good person to try and educate the media, and it is not easy at all. I too have been burned by the media various times. They are in bed with the adoption industry and then some. Kind of like bad sex too, in a wild orgy of power, money and self-serving moaning.
You did well to try and educate them. Don’t beat yourself up.