Contested Adoptions That Weren’t, Father’s Rights, Kidnapping and Whining
I try not to follow too much of the sensational “adoption ” stories “ripped right from the headlines” because they make me crazy – like serious ranting and raving crazy mad. Of course, it was hard to completely ignore all the entitlement whining coming from the recent Dr. Phil show which “starred” the sad, wrongfully hurt Capobiancos crying over their “loss” of Baby Veronica.
Now I HATE “Dr.” Phil and have since that disgusting time when he pressured a girl to relinquish on TV as some form of sick entertainment, so I REFUSE to watch his crap. I mean really, I want to physically jump through the TV and poke sharp sticks in their eyes. Just one eye each, so I wouldn’t blind them all. I would just.. I don’t know..make them think? Yeah, I know. Probably not. See, watching Dr. Phil is just not good for my personal inner peace and contentment. I keep waiting for the inner peace and contentment that all the adoption agencies promise us birthmothers, but no avail. I know watching Dr. Phil will not ease my journey.
However, I was asked a few times recently what I thought of the case, Baby Veronica so, I’ll weigh in.
A Birthmother’s Thoughts on the Baby Veronica Adoption Battle
What I find most notable about the “Baby Veronica” story is that it is really not that remarkable.
By the time these court battles make it to the mainstream national news syndication, they seem to fit a certain pattern. It’s pretty much always the same; birthmother voluntarily signs relinquishment paperwork after birth and the father is somehow lied to, ignored, un-informed, but DOESN’T voluntarily relinquish his rights. As soon as he finds out that he actually HAS a child, he starts saying that he WANTS his child, yet, the wannabe adoptive parents already have physical custody of the baby and REFUSE to give the child back. Years of court battles, petitions, hearing, rulings, trails, judgments, etc ensue while crying loudly on any and every public form of media:
“My Baby! Ripped Away From the ONLY Home She Has EVER Known!”
Am I harsh on these particular wannabe adoptive parents? Yes, yes I am, but that is because these particular wannabe adoptive parents are very worthy of scorn in my eyes. We’re talking far down and close to the bottom of the barrel. Amid all their cries of “What’s best for my baby” their litigious actions show nothing but contempt for more than just the actual court rulings, but for what really is both right and A RIGHT of the child in question.
A Child’s Right to Their Own Father
Now, Baby Veronica, in particular, annoys me a bit more than usual. Not because it ended badly; it didn’t.
Veronica was rightfully returned to her true, biological father, hence the Capobianco’s Whine Tour 2012. The final custody ruling was based on the Indian Child Welfare Act and the fact that father and child were both Nation’s People and the tribe should have been notified. That is the way the law is suppose to work.
What annoyed me about the Veronica case is that everyone is now using this case to try to bring down the Indian Child Welfare Act – comments going into laundry lists of ICWA horror stories from both sides of the adoption curtain. In my opinion, the Baby Veronica case should not have been about the Indian Child Welfare Act.
Don’t get me wrong: I am really GLAD they won and don’t begrudge the lawyers finding that ONE way to get Veronica back home with her father where she was wanted. I just hate that they had to use it or they could have lost. Because, in adoption, father’s rights are really trampled on as almost a matter of practice and they might not have had another way to get that child back. The laws in this country do not protect unmarried fathers at all and it is disgusting.
It shouldn’t be. It should be really simple.
To have a successful voluntary domestic infant adoption, the birthmother must sign away her rights and the father must sign away his rights. Then, the child is FREE for adoption. If the mother doesn’t want to sign, she doesn’t have to and she gets to keep her baby. If the father doesn’t sign away his paternal rights, then he is STILL the LEGAL FATHER of the child and the child is NOT free for adoption. He gets to keep his child.
Veronica’s father never terminated his rights to his daughter. Veronica was never free for adoption and the adoption never was finalized.
He is still legally Veronica’s father. Just like “Grayson Vaughn’s” and Baby Emma’s, and Baby Harvey’s, and “Baby Richard’s” and “Baby Jessica’s” father’s were all still legally the father as they did not VOLUNTARILY RELINQUISH THEIR PATERNAL RIGHTS either.
And if they can figure it out fast enough, fight hard enough, have enough money to spend on lawyers, then maybe, just maybe, they can get their children back in a few years. As they should, you know, because it is THE LAW. Not the Indian Child Welfare Act, but just adoption law.
That the Big Adoption Battle Loop Hole that can Overturn an Illegal Adoption: Unsigned Fathers
When the agency, lawyers, and birthmothers scheme to withhold information from biological fathers in the name of adoption and call it ‘What’s best for the child” they deserve what they get in my book. Everyone of the dad’s in question were somehow hoodwinked out of their children. Yeah, maybe they are not 100% saintly and perfect, but that’s not up to you nor I to judge. It’s actually NO ONE’s right to judge these men and question their desires to be fathers. Not the courts, not the media, and certainly not the wannabe adoptive parents. As I said, it’s simple. Dad didn’t sign. He wants his child. Give the child back to him. Sorry, but your agency or lawyer or you or the “precious ::cough cough:: swindling ::Cough cough:: dear birthmother” screwed up.
And no, we’re NOT talking 13 years later, some guy walking in off the street and demanding his rights to a child. None of these father’s did that. Each and every one of these Dads almost immediate put into motion that they contested the adoptions. The adoption agencies knew there was an issue. The wannabe adoptive parents know that there is an issue with the adoption, but they keep on fighting the truth and the law: the child is not free for adoption. They just hang on to the baby. Possession is nine point nine tenths of the law when it comes to child custody and contested adoptions. While dads try to understand this new reality of hell, try to find legal help, funds, and information; stumbling over punitive father’s registries, state paternity filing dates and out of state adoption agencies; they just sit back, and wait for him to get so defeated, so tired, so overwhelmed, that he just goes away, beaten. Just keep fighting.
Because you know, if you wait long enough, which in these case seem to be about three weeks, then you can whine, “But it’s the ONLY HOME she has EVER KNOWN!”
You get to tell the world how mean and cruel the so called “justice system” is in this country for ripping your child away from her family.
You get to talk about how you ONLY concern is HER welfare and you KNOW this will be just SO traumatic for her.
You get to wring you hands and cry on national TV as the whole world somehow sympathizes and somehow manages to miss the main point:
YOU WANNABE ADOPTIVE PARENTS DID THIS!!
YOU are the one fucking up your kid that you CLAIM to love so much.
You KNEW that her father, his father, wanted to BE the father.
You KNEW that the adoption was being contested when the BABY WAS JUST MONTHS OLD!
If you gave the baby back, as it is THE LAW, when you first found out that the CHILD WAS NOT FREE FOR ADOPTION, then that child would not be ripped from the only home he or she has ever known. The baby would be HOME, just not with you.
YOU dragged this on and on.
YOUR ACTIONS have caused this child to remember.
You get NO sympathy from me, you kidnappers.
Yet all the time, America sympathizes with the wannabe adoptive parents preserving their false illegal fantasy family.
Baby Veronica 2012
- Guilty parties: Melanie and Matt Capobianco
- Situation: Veronica’s birth mother, Christina Maldonado, signed the adoption papers for the Capobiancos to take Veronica without Brown’s consent. When Brown learned of the adoption, he immediately began pursuing custody of his daughter. As he and Veronica were both members of the Cherokee Nation, the Indian Child Welfare Act was invoked.
- Started: 2009
- Adoption: never finalized
- State/s Courts: South Carolina Supreme Court, petitioned the US Supreme Court
- Settled: Veronica was returned to her rightful father in Jan 2012, but of course, the wanna be adoptive parents are not done yet.
- Time wasted: over 2 years
- Winning Quote: “This is a complete failure within our justice system – not only to us and Veronica – but to the birth mother who’s rights as a loving parent have been completely ignored. Right now, and as it has always been, our main concern is Veronica and what is best for her.”
Baby Vaughn “Grayson” 2010
- Guilty parties: Jason and Christy Vaughn
- Situation: Grayson’s mother relinquished after birth to the Vaughns. Ben, the child’s father, was never notified by the mother or the agency. Hence, his paternal rights were never relinquished nor removed. He was not aware of Grayson’s birth at the time and that he filed his paternity petition as soon as he found out.
- Started: 17 days after birth of Grayson
- Adoption: Never Finalized
- State/s Courts: Indiana and Ohio supreme courts
- Settled: 9/2010 Ohio Supreme court order Grayson returned to his biological father.
- Time wasted: three years
- Adoption Agency: Adoption By Gentle Care
- Winning Quote: “He’s our child and he has been since the moment I held him,” Christy Vaughn. Yeah, Christie, no, he is not.
Baby Emma 2010
- Guilty parties: Thomas and Chandra Zarembinski
- Situation: The couple talked of raising the child together and, eventually, getting married, until 11 hours before her birth. Instead the mother had the baby in Virginia and then to Utah to relinquish against the father’s wishes. Utah courts, which are notoriously horrible to father’s rights, will not return baby Emma.
- Started: February 10, 2009
- Adoption: Not finalized ?
- Agency: A Act of Love, an Utah adoption agency
- State/s Courts: Utah and Virginia
- Settled: It’s not. Her father is taking the matter up with the US supreme Court and suing the agency
- Time wasted: Almost four years
- Winning Quote: “The Utah statutes can be harsh, but they are looking at what’s best for the child: stable placements and two-parent families,” said David Hardy, a lawyer for LDS Family Services, a Mormon Church-affiliated adoption agency.
- More information: http://www.babyemmawyatt.com/
Baby Harvey 2007
- Guilty parties: Jed and Callie Nielson
- Situation: The birth mother gave the father relinquishment papers and he did not sign them. He didn’t sign up with Idaho’s “putative father” registry. He hired an attorney who went to the first adoption hearing to contest the adoption.
- Started: June 2007
- Adoption: Not finalized
- Adoption Agency: LDS Family Services
- State/s Courts: Idaho Supreme Court
- Settled: Idaho Magistrate Barry E. Watson ruled that the father would have temporary primary custody of Harvey while the birth mother would have some visitation during the legal battle, however the wanna be adoptive parents won’t concede
- Time wasted: Still going on. As of Jan 2008, the Nielson’s had refused the court directive to hand over the child to his father.
- Winning Quote: Callie Nielson. “We’re just going to keep fighting,”
Baby Richard 1994
- Guilty parties: Kim and Jay Warburton
- Situation: Richard’s mother though that his father had abandoned both her and the baby, so she relinquished after birth. Two months after Richard was born, a friend of the biological mother told Kirchner the truth, and he intervened in the adoption proceedings to gain custody of his son.
- Started: August 1991
- Adoption: deemed improper
- State/s Courts: Illinois Supreme Court (The Warburtons filed petitions with the United States Supreme Court seeking to stay and the decision; but were denied)
- Settled: Three years after the birth of the child, in June 1994, the Illinois Supreme Court ruled that the Circuit Court of Cook County and the Illinois Appellate Court had wrongly terminated Kirchner’s parental rights, and the adoption was improper. The Court order Richard/Danny returned to his biological father.
- Time wasted: four years
- Winning Quote: “(The Baby Richard) tragedy is the wrongful breakup of a natural family and the keeping of a child by strangers without right,” wrote Illinois Supreme Court Justice James Heiple.
Baby Jessica 1993
- Guilty parties: Jan and Roberta DeBoer
- Situation: Anna was born to Cara Clausen, who placed her for adoption with Jan and Roberta DeBoer without telling Schmidt that he was the father; she also put a different man’s name on the birth certificate, further obscuring paternity. The adoption process was handled by the DeBoer’s attorney, which Clausen erroneously thought was also her attorney. Five days after the birth, Clausen changed her mind, informed Schmidt of his paternity, and told the DeBoers that she wanted to cancel the adoption. Clausen and Schmidt later married, and Schmidt went to court to get Anna back, arguing that he had not given up his parental rights to his daughter
- Started: June 1991
- State/s Courts: supreme courts of Iowa and Michigan
- Settled: August 1993
- Time wasted: almost 3 years
- Winning Quote: Karma for the DeBoer’s? “Their marriage didn’t survive the stress of losing Jessica, and although they remarried, they divorced again. Jan Deboer even lost the ability to play his beloved guitars in a Christian rock band after he mangled his thumb in a press at work in printing services at the University of Michigan.”
Only the dads with real staying power can make it to the news. I wonder about all the other father’s that just can’t find the means to fight the injustice of the adoption industry and who we never hear about because the wannabe adoptive parents were counseled to just hold onto that baby and keep on fighting.
I don’t know how these wannabe adoptive parents sleep at night, but I worry more for these children. How betrayed they will feel if they ever learn the truth? How can these parents expect to spin this kind of story so they don’t look like the entitled selfish monsters that they are? How can they look their child in the eye and say:
Yeah, your father wanted to raise you, but he was no good, so we fought to keep you because we loved you so much. You were chosen.
Any wannabe adoptive parent that does this in any way, shape, or form cannot hope to mitigate the amount of anger, disgust and feelings of betrayal that the adoptee should justifiably feel.
I can’t wait to see how Karma’s gonna get you.
Excellent analysis. I’d just like to add that sometimes (I’d wager *most* of the time), these things happen because the guy wants to play and then wander off, rather than only have sex with a woman that he’d actually want to stay with. If you’re going to do that, guys, don’t be surprised if she decides you don’t care about the baby either.
I mean the only way a guy can possibly not know he’s going to be a father until the last minute is if he’s completely avoiding the mother. And sometimes that happens because *she* dumps *him.* But not always.
The legal argument is impeccable and I do not dispute it. But we can avoid some of these legal entanglements by behaving in a more ethical way in our personal relationships to begin with. Like Max’s father, Claud. Would you have hidden your pregnancy from him if he had been behaving in an ethical manner in the first place? Hell, if he’d been doing that, you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant to begin with!
“My Baby! Ripped Away From the ONLY Home She Has EVER Known!”
This is where the discrepancy lies. It is NOT THEIR BABY. That child was “ripped” from his/ her coerced, brainwashed and manipulated mothers (and many times fathers who never relinquished rights in the first place) and placed into their self entitled arms. Never once to they think of anyone but themselves. Never. People like this have not business adopting in the first place.
Amazing post Claud. I was placed for adoption against the will of my dad. He and my paternal grandparents made it very clear that they did not support the adoption and that they wanted me. My dad’s identity was well-known to all involved, including the agency. My maternal grandparents and Catholic “Charities” were allowed to place me with strangers because fathers had no rights at all to raise their own children in 1971. And now I keep hearing how adoption has changed over the years? Apparently not when it comes to fathers’ rights.
Excellent post, thank you for breaking it down like that.
In my case, my son’s father knew I was preggo. Catholic Charities gave me paperwork for him to sign and he just kept putting it off because of sheer laziness. When I told my “counselor” this, she said “there are ways around that, we don’t need his signature.” I often wonder what she meant by that.
They probably went ahead and terminated his rights anyway.
The common adoption practice is to use the legal postings in a newspaper. Basically, they post in the legal notices for like a week or two a classified ad that reads:
“If you happen to have had sex with YOUR NAME during this TIME FRAME, Please be aware that your child is going to placed for adoption. Get in touch with blah blah”
It’s a great trick to get around dads. They often will post in newspapers that are not really in the dad’s neighborhood. It’s particularly helpful if Dad’s in college and they put the notices in his home paper or visa versa. Of course who really reads the legal notices anyway/ Needless to say, many dads have lost their rights this way. My agency did it that way for me.
The interesting thing is THEN they urn around and say that our “privacy” must be protected. We were listed BY NAME in the public newspaper. Insane.
Leenburke…I was in the same situation. Although it wasn’t laziness on my baby’s fathers part, it was more “if I ignore them they will go away” situation. I, too, was told “not to worry, we will take care of him” and always wondered what they meant by that. He did sign over his rights willingly though. I still don’t know what CSS did to get him to cooperate.
Thanks, Claud, for that info.
Good Post!
1. Dr Phill also stood up against the Native American Child Act!
2. As for “the only family” – it doesn’t apply when the shoe is on the other foot. My daughter was kept in foster for a year and then ripped from the arms of a very loving, caring family who wanted to adopt her and a foster mom she was calling “MOMMY”! Why? The adoption agency decided to give her to a family who had been approved as adoptive parents and the foster family wasn’t! They tus acted in oppostition to th ebest interest of the child and with no regard for a year-log bond.
ALSO – what about the recent reunion of a woman who had been taken as a baby from the hospital and raised as the child of her kidnapper? Not harmed like Smart. Yet, no one in such cases ever says the kidnappers are “the only family.” Adoption can turn a kidnapping into a legal relationship, as in the case of Jennifer and Tim Monahgan who were ordered to return their kidnapped daughter and did not.
3. As for fathers, those who encourage mothers-to-be to lie about the identity of the father and/or remove her from her state with the imntent of deceiving the father should be chnrtged with FELONY CRIMES and punsihed accordingly. Why? Because they are taking away a parent’s constutional right and the effect is the same for the father as having his child kidnppaed from him!
CLAUD, I got nothing here. I just ‘love” you, thats it!
whats sad is in south carolina if the father dont support or not with the mother during pregnancy they can terminate his rights.. like wonder if hes not sure the baby is his, the mom is being a bitch and cut him out of her life like Christy did with Dusty becuz she had a secret plan to sell his child for a vehicle and house repairs an lets tax payers pay the medical bills while she was on state asst. this bitch was dirty… that is messed up how they can try and do that to a dad when DNA and paternity wasnt even established yet. that is why they hurried up and got her out of OK.so South Carolina laws applied. by the time he found out his child was stolen just before his deployment it was almost to late … Those are some disgusting pigs involved in this case. the adoption agency involved in this case was Nightlight Christian Adoptions in South Carolina. scary people!!! Capobianco whine tour 2012 loved this.. lmao!!!! heres a thought maybe we should get mrs jowels and puss boy t shirts with that on it.. and the rest of their hate campaign members over at “save veronica rose”
I surrendered my daughter in 2007 (huge mistake, but that is another tale for another day) and when my ex husband, the father, was served with the adoption paperwork, his response: “Does this mean I only have to pay for one?” He had 30 days to file paperwork to contest it. His rights were terminated by default.
Of course, if you hear it from him, it was an illegal adoption and I lied about his where-abouts to avoid him contesting it. He has told mutual acquaintances that I had his signature forged, he didn’t sign at all and this means it’s illegal, etc. I wasn’t about to lie about him or anything. But honestly, I wish he did try to fight…..maybe it would have opened my eyes to what ended up being the biggest mistake of my life.
I think there needs to be massive reform when it comes to TPR of the bio parents, especially the fathers. Just because he was a shitty husband or boyfriend does not mean he will be a shitty father, as it has been shown with the high profile cases that reached the newsfeeds. Even though my ex husband was both a horrible husband and a horrible father (we have an older child as well that I am raising), it doesn’t change my perspective on father’s rights.
The MINUTE the father contests the adoption of his child, the wanna be adopters need to back off and give the child back. I don’t care if it’s weeks, months, a year later. The child was not legally free to adopt, hence NOT THEIRS. Not being involved with the pregnant mother doesn’t mean he is unfit (as there are cases here where the mother purposely avoided him to make sure he could not intervene). I think Baby Emma is prob the most horrendous of the cases because her father got custody of her where she was born but Utah made a point to pass a new law that states they do not have to abide by another state’s custody order when it comes to their infant commodity.
I generally don’t support feds getting involved with state laws, but I think they should dismantle all of Utah’s adoption laws and get rid of the father registries nationwide. DNA test, name on BC should be all that is needed when the father fights.
I am an adoptive mom as you know and I agree with you 100% on this post!!!
As an adoptive parent, part of me gets angry reading this article and some of the comments. If the poster is talking strictly about adoptions that were circumventing a birth-father that wanted the child from the very beginning, and I mean the VERY beginning, then I understand. But if a birth father “just found out” after birth that they had a child, then it’s 100% the birth father’s fault! It takesNINE months for a baby to be born…that’s NINE. That means that for none months the birth father never saw the birth mother…unless extenuating circumstances (like someone going off to the army or something of that nature), that is unacceptable. It shows that the birth father didn’t care if his encounter resulted in a pregnancy. “Talking over the phone” or “texting” is just not enough in my book. If you feel as a man that you are mature enough to have sexual relations, then you should also be mature enough to ensure you are aware if any of your encounters results in a pregnancy. The burden of knowledge is up to the man in question, the woman has no choice but to deal with the consequences, she’s the one pregnant after all. Since the birth-father doesn’t become “instantly” aware of a pregnancy, it is their responsibility to find out if a pregnancy occurred.
A commenter said “The MINUTE the father contests the adoption of his child, the wanna be adopters need to back off and give the child back. I don’t care if it’s weeks, months, a year later.” That is utter and complete bull-puckey and one of the stupidest comments I ever read. If a birth-father finds out 10 months after birth that they have a child, that means they were out-of-touch with reality and the birth mother for 19 months. They have no rights in my book, end-of-discussion. In what universe is it okay to rip a child away from adoptive parents that have loved and taken care of a child for 10 months, bonded with said child, only to have some DNA-link come and say, this is my child and I want him? Any man that is “serious” about wanting to take care of a child should have also been “serious” about making sure their sexual encounters did not result in a pregnancy. You can’t be nonchalant about one aspect and then concerned with the child after-the-fact. That’s asking for the deck to be stacked in the birth father’s favor and that’s not right to the other people involved.
My spouse and I took custody of our son just over 10 months ago, birth father was named by the mother but was not uninvolved by her claim. It was a supposed one-night-stand. We searched for the father ourselves, we hired a private investigator, and now the courts are forcing us to post in the papers. If the father appears now…after 10 months, I will not willing give up MY SON. To hell with what anyone says, that DNA-Doner doesn’t have the RIGHT to take my son away, not now. If he was a responsible human being, he would have stayed in contact and made sure that there was no baby. This complaint about woman lying to men about being pregnant…that’s bull-puckey too, quick face-to-face visits over the course of the nine months will be very self-evident that there is in fact a baby involved. If you can’t muster up that kind of responsible behavior, then you are not serious about caring if a child resulted in your encounter. PERIOD.
Ben,
While I CAN really understand that for you, living this now, the threat of an involved father showing up would inspire a very emotional reaction, I still have to defend the dads. An no, I am NOT talking about the father’s that WERE TOLD and choose to ignore (though I have to say that it is VERY possible for a father to think of a child as unreal and not feel bonded until after birth as well. I see nothing wrong with a father deciding to step forward with a desire to raise their child after birth. This is one reason why legally, one cannot consent to relinquish until after birth.)
The MAJORITY of these fathers and MANY un-named fathers experienced much more than “not being told”; they were openly thwarted by the other side, both mothers, the lawyers, the agencies, etc. Personally I feel the amount of hoops that a father must go through in some states to defend the rights to his own offspring are just downright insane. Obviously you are familiar with some of the laws, but I do implore you to take a gander and read over here: http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/fathers-rights-custody-adoption/
Granted we want children to be wanted and cared for by their parents. All child welfare advocates agree that children fair best when raised with those that they have a genetic ties with and adoption should really be the last resort when no other options are available, so a father raising his own is not a bad thing that we should be helping the adoption industry prevent. It shouldn’t be about “if” he behaved the way I think he should, or shows the interest that YOU think he should on our timeline, but IF he can be what the child needs. Personally, I feel making the child pay though a lifetime of adoption losses (even with super wonderful adoptive parents in place) is really making the child pay for the father’s earlier failures.
And yes, due to the nature of the sexes, and sex, often a woman is the one who must deal, but that doesn’t always mean the father does not wish to. Unless, you are one of those perfect people who have NEVER done anything wrong and NEVER had sex outside marriage when you were ready and willing to care for possible offspring, then I bet you can remember a time or two when you “did the do” (as my daughter says) and never ran into that girl again. If she never goes out of her way to let you know….really, how WOULD you know? Did you go checking up on chicks 8 months after you slept with them to see if they had a bun in the oven?? I mean WHAT guy does that?? That’s not irresponsible, that’s human nature!
Anyway, that’s my food for thought.
Please see Champaign/Urbana Craigslist Rants & Raves, entitled “Daddy’s Home” posted on 01/28/15 for a father of an adult now, who as fraudulently adopted. And has taken to public shaming.
The link to that is here: http://chambana.craigslist.org/rnr/4867449451.html ANd becasue it is Craigslist and ,ikely to dissapear, I have copied it here:
When you’ve been battling cancer for a year, the negative People think of you, seems trivial.
Years ago I lived in Champaign, married, and fathered a child. I wasn’t what you’d ever consider a decent guy. Male stripper, ex-con (confidence man), etc. I ran away from my wife and daughter when things went sideways. But none of us, are black-and-white. I am an artist, and today am in five museum permanent collections. A Mensan.
When I was locked-up, my wife re-married, and hurriedly had the guy adopt my daughter. A patently illegal adoption.
My ex and I cannot have a conversation which doesn’t turn rancorous. And my daughter threatens to call the police on me, if I even attempt to contact her. But now, I have two grandchildren, whose faces I’ve never seen. And I simply want a picture of them both.
I am nothing more than single-sided nasty characterization to my daughter. She, my heart, but in my way. It took a generation for me to get my act together, refusing to come hat-in-hand to someone I abandoned.
All these years later, and I know respect for the first time, and til my dying breath, I will shake this world for what is mine.
Consider this a public shaming. Martha Glotzhober & Ricki Noel Alford, both employees of the University of Illinois.
I wish you everything you want in life, Ricki. And you can have anything that I possess. But this one request, I will never abandon.
And you can come to me no matter what or when. I stopped being a ‘moving target’ some time ago. With only death, is it too late.