January 2013

Adoption, Bad Adoption Practices, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons January 31, 2013

15 Solutions To Fix Adoption in America

I do not believe that we will see the end of adoption completely, but these solutions could very well produce a country like Australia where the relinquishment rates dropped about 95%. That is not unrealistic to me. Ideal, yes, but… People will want children that they cannot bare, and here will be people who have children who do not have any desire to ever be a parent. Yes, adoption will still be there, but let it be a safe guard that provides families for children who need homes rather than finding children for families that want them. Adoption relinquishment should be seen as the last possible choice.

Choosing Adoption separates mothers and children

Adoption Research & Statistics, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry January 30, 2013

Adoption Relinquishments by the Numbers

Based on a 100% population, then, the USA IF it had similar adoption practices and supported mothers would have 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or takeWant to do it again? Based on the 2006 numbers, we are looking at only 826 infants relinquished in the USA rather than the 14,000.
I don’t even need my calculator to know that it means we are looking at aproximately 13,500 babies relinquished by mothers who, IF given accurate information regarding parenting and had options and support, would most likely NOT have placed their babies for adoption. Now multiply that by the last ten years: that’s over 135,000 families separated for no other reason than the fact that adoption is a huge profit driven business in the USA.

Research into adoption surrender documents

Adoption Research & Statistics January 29, 2013

Biological Mother’s Grief: The Post Adoptive Experience in Open Versus Confidential Adoption

Indications were strong that biological mothers who know more about the later life of the child they relinquished have a harder time making an adjustment than do mothers whose tie to the child is broken off completely by means of death. Relinquishing mothers who know only that their children still live but have no details about their lives appear to experience an intermediate degree of grief. It might seem a paradox that continued knowledge about the relinquished child would intensify a mother’s grief symptoms. The question of whether open adoption inhibits a healthy grieving process needs careful consideration before open adoption becomes a standard method of practice

Tell me to Stop speaking Adoption Truths? HA!

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Relinquishment January 28, 2013

Sorry, I’m Not Going to Be Convinced & I’m Not Changing My Mind

I really have to almost get a chuckle out of it when people try to tell me to shut up. Really? You are going to tell ME to STOP? And you think I will listen to YOU? How’s that working out for you? Yes, it IS FUNNY! You did not bother to find out who you are talking to. I take my rabble rousing VERY seriously. Why are you spending all your energy trying to convince me that you got it so good and adoption is so positive and “not like my experience”. Did I mention that I just do not care?

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Relinquishment January 27, 2013

This is Adoption Happily Ever After

No matter how perfect the outcome, it still hurts. The only way to avoid the hurt is to avoid adoption, and it’s too late for that, for me. The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today. It’s not because I had a “bad experience”, it’s that it was a “good experience”, and yet there are too many tears and the worry never stops.

A Birthmothers Life, Rants and Raves January 22, 2013

Blog for Choice 2013 Lame Style

If you don’t believe in abortion, then don’t have one. I promise I won’t force you, but please don’t force my daughter to feel shame or cross state lines for wanting to control her fertility. Don’t give our countries women fake choices and then blame them and shame them for doing what they must. Don’t make them endanger their lives or be slaves to their bodies. Don’t let sex become something only the rich deserve. Don’t feed the adoption machine at the risk of women’s lives. You decide your moral code for your body and I will decide the moral code for my body.

Research into adoption surrender documents

Adoption Research & Statistics January 15, 2013

The Free-Market Approach to Adoption: The Value of a Baby

2006 Michele Goodwin argues that the current adoption model in the United States resembles an unregulated marketplace in children. Whether lawmakers and citizens wish to recognize this marketplace, its existence is demonstrated by frequent financial transactions among adoptive parents, birth mothers, and adoption agencies that resemble payments. The author explores this marketplace and the way in which race, genetic traits, and class are implicated in adoption processes, resulting in higher fees associated with the adoption of children with desirable traits. The author proposes two mechanisms by which the government could regulate the adoption market—price caps and taxation.

Joint Council of International Adoption

Community, The Adoption Industry January 14, 2013

Adoption Policy Decisions 2013: Who is Leading? Who is Stuck Behind?

We certainly have all felt the frustration of reading an adoption related article or story on the web or seeing it on the news or some talk show where the “expert” makes some statement completely contradictory to what we know about adoptees or about “birth” mothers. Where are the adoptees we cry? How come they didn’t ask a mother to tell her tale? How come they didn’t ask us, we wonder. And when will this controlled “commentary” about adoption falsehoods and misinformation end? When will they listen?
We have to acknowledge when they do and call attention when the leading adoption “experts” do not.

Community January 7, 2013

The Adoption Army Battles Catholic Charities

Lead by the Fab LindaLou, warriors of adoption truth took to the page in groves to comment on the many various reason why this form of maternal and infant exploitation was very wrong. To make matters worse, the manager of the Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Toledo Facebook page, repeatedly removed any comments from the Adoption Army that were truthful or criticized their decision to post the image. If it wasn’t a “what a blessing” comment, then the comment was done and deleted; people were getting banned left and right off the page. Perhaps they thought that we would tire, or that they could ban us all?

Community January 7, 2013

THIS is How We Change the World’s View of Adoption

So this morning, Kelly hits me up on FB chat. I am still in my “drinking coffee, watching news, and on the Ipad time “mourning rounds”.. So I am “working” but still in bed. “GUESS WHAT?” she says. I can tell she is excited. “What?” I reply and can really, hardly wait for the answer.
“A hospital in CO just messaged me to tell me they are changing ALL their materials based on my blog post!”

Best Open Adoption Blogs 2012

Community January 5, 2013

Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2012

Get yourself a cup of tea, or coffee, or wine and sit down for a good long read. The Open Adoption Network has the Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2012 version up and ready! Get Reading NOW! You’ll find some old established voices and some new ones, too. Remember to go and give some comment love. TRIGGER WARNING: There are Adoptive Parents Blogs int here, so be prepared. Though I will say that the…