2013

The Myth of the Happy Adoptee

When we are pregnant, we don’t pump our own gas or dye our hair. We stop smoking and drinking and eat right. We watch our medications, don’t eat sushi, go in hot tubs or ride roller coasters. There is a mass of other “don’ts’ that I forget since it’s been a while, but I think even goat cheese is “bad” when you are pregnant now. Bottom line, we do not do all these that MIGHT somehow endanger our babies. Even if it’s like .00096% of all pregnant women who eat unprocessed cheese get the weird amoeba that could cause blindness in the fetus, we don’t take that chance. So why are we encouraging mothers, who really do NOT have to relinquish to endanger their babies with maternal separation?


Adoption as a Risk Factor for Attempted Suicide During Adolescence

The results of this study indicate that attempted suicide is more common among adolescents who live with adoptive parents than among adolescents who live with biological parents. It support the primary hypothesis that adoption is associated with attempted suicide but do not support the secondary hypothesis that the association is mediated by impulsivity. The study results do support the third hypothesis that family connectedness decreases the risk of suicidal behavior regardless of adolescent adoptive or nonadoptive status.


Suicidal Thoughts in Adopted Versus Non-Adopted Youth

Thus, 18% of adopted children ages 12 to 17 have ever been diagnosed with depression compared with 7% of children in the general population. No particular differences in proportions of children with depression were noted between foster care, domestic, and international adoptees. Researchers and practitioners probably should remain cognizant of the small increased risk of suicidal ideation for certain types of adoptees. In 2010 alone, more than 50,000 children were adopted from public foster care, which does not include the many international, independent, and private adoptions (Vandivere et al., 2009). A 1% to 3% increased rate of suicidal ideation, accumulated across all later adopted youth over a period of years, translates into thousands of individuals with suicidal inclinations. The many adoptive parents whose adopted children experience such thoughts almost certainly would not want this serious matter dismissed as a “small” effect size. Adoption advocacy groups might also take cognizance of these results in efforts to increase support for post-adoption services.


15 Solutions To Fix Adoption in America

I do not believe that we will see the end of adoption completely, but these solutions could very well produce a country like Australia where the relinquishment rates dropped about 95%. That is not unrealistic to me. Ideal, yes, but… People will want children that they cannot bare, and here will be people who have children who do not have any desire to ever be a parent. Yes, adoption will still be there, but let it be a safe guard that provides families for children who need homes rather than finding children for families that want them. Adoption relinquishment should be seen as the last possible choice.


Adoption Relinquishments by the Numbers

Based on a 100% population, then, the USA IF it had similar adoption practices and supported mothers would have 539 Voluntary Domestic Infant relinquishments annually give or takeWant to do it again? Based on the 2006 numbers, we are looking at only 826 infants relinquished in the USA rather than the 14,000.
I don’t even need my calculator to know that it means we are looking at aproximately 13,500 babies relinquished by mothers who, IF given accurate information regarding parenting and had options and support, would most likely NOT have placed their babies for adoption. Now multiply that by the last ten years: that’s over 135,000 families separated for no other reason than the fact that adoption is a huge profit driven business in the USA.



Biological Mother’s Grief: The Post Adoptive Experience in Open Versus Confidential Adoption

Indications were strong that biological mothers who know more about the later life of the child they relinquished have a harder time making an adjustment than do mothers whose tie to the child is broken off completely by means of death. Relinquishing mothers who know only that their children still live but have no details about their lives appear to experience an intermediate degree of grief. It might seem a paradox that continued knowledge about the relinquished child would intensify a mother’s grief symptoms. The question of whether open adoption inhibits a healthy grieving process needs careful consideration before open adoption becomes a standard method of practice


Sorry, I’m Not Going to Be Convinced & I’m Not Changing My Mind

I really have to almost get a chuckle out of it when people try to tell me to shut up. Really? You are going to tell ME to STOP? And you think I will listen to YOU? How’s that working out for you? Yes, it IS FUNNY! You did not bother to find out who you are talking to. I take my rabble rousing VERY seriously. Why are you spending all your energy trying to convince me that you got it so good and adoption is so positive and “not like my experience”. Did I mention that I just do not care?


This is Adoption Happily Ever After

No matter how perfect the outcome, it still hurts. The only way to avoid the hurt is to avoid adoption, and it’s too late for that, for me. The adoption of my son was perfect, I did everything the “right” way and still; the adoption of my son caused unnecessary pain and was wrong. This is way I speak out against adoption today. It’s not because I had a “bad experience”, it’s that it was a “good experience”, and yet there are too many tears and the worry never stops.


Blog for Choice 2013 Lame Style

If you don’t believe in abortion, then don’t have one. I promise I won’t force you, but please don’t force my daughter to feel shame or cross state lines for wanting to control her fertility. Don’t give our countries women fake choices and then blame them and shame them for doing what they must. Don’t make them endanger their lives or be slaves to their bodies. Don’t let sex become something only the rich deserve. Don’t feed the adoption machine at the risk of women’s lives. You decide your moral code for your body and I will decide the moral code for my body.


The Free-Market Approach to Adoption: The Value of a Baby

2006 Michele Goodwin argues that the current adoption model in the United States resembles an unregulated marketplace in children. Whether lawmakers and citizens wish to recognize this marketplace, its existence is demonstrated by frequent financial transactions among adoptive parents, birth mothers, and adoption agencies that resemble payments. The author explores this marketplace and the way in which race, genetic traits, and class are implicated in adoption processes, resulting in higher fees associated with the adoption of children with desirable traits. The author proposes two mechanisms by which the government could regulate the adoption market—price caps and taxation.


Adoption Policy Decisions 2013: Who is Leading? Who is Stuck Behind?

We certainly have all felt the frustration of reading an adoption related article or story on the web or seeing it on the news or some talk show where the “expert” makes some statement completely contradictory to what we know about adoptees or about “birth” mothers. Where are the adoptees we cry? How come they didn’t ask a mother to tell her tale? How come they didn’t ask us, we wonder. And when will this controlled “commentary” about adoption falsehoods and misinformation end? When will they listen?
We have to acknowledge when they do and call attention when the leading adoption “experts” do not.



The Adoption Army Battles Catholic Charities

Lead by the Fab LindaLou, warriors of adoption truth took to the page in groves to comment on the many various reason why this form of maternal and infant exploitation was very wrong. To make matters worse, the manager of the Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Toledo Facebook page, repeatedly removed any comments from the Adoption Army that were truthful or criticized their decision to post the image. If it wasn’t a “what a blessing” comment, then the comment was done and deleted; people were getting banned left and right off the page. Perhaps they thought that we would tire, or that they could ban us all?


THIS is How We Change the World’s View of Adoption

So this morning, Kelly hits me up on FB chat. I am still in my “drinking coffee, watching news, and on the Ipad time “mourning rounds”.. So I am “working” but still in bed. “GUESS WHAT?” she says. I can tell she is excited. “What?” I reply and can really, hardly wait for the answer.
“A hospital in CO just messaged me to tell me they are changing ALL their materials based on my blog post!”