Whats More Evil? The word “Birthmother” or the fights caused over it? So, while I hate, hate, hate, the adoption terminology wars and refuse to participate in them, I’m going to break my rules because I also hate, hate, hate assumptions and all the rest too. And since I was literally forced to deal with this today, rather than just enjoying the printed thrills of having my book come in the mail, I’m going to go there.
Not ALL Adoptive Parents Are Adoptoraptors. Now is this an insulting term? Most definitely. It is actually supposed to be an insult. One really does not want to aspire to sink to the depths of a true “adoptoraptor”. If you happen to find that fit into the actual description of the term, then you should probably go sit in a corner and rethink your life.
I am an adoptee given up by my birth mother in 1966. I was adopted within the family, so grew up with my biological grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins around me. I was raised being told that my mother was my “Aunt Annie”. My adoptive parents (aunt and uncle, whom I called mom and dad) were terribly insecure and once the secret was out that I knew “Aunt Annie” was no aunt to me at all, my adoptive parents became extremely controlling about my access to and communication with my birth mother.
“This Support Group is SO Negative!”
Lately, it seems that someone who feels “Ok’ about their choice, will express displeasure at what they see as lack of support. Which pretty much ends up being another long drawn out discussion where the Polly Positives complain about the Negative Nancys and the Negative Nancys defend their right to be negative. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Yes, if I am trying to be completely honest and self aware, then I have to admit that some aspect of my motivation to do this work, my obsession with all things adoption, is a form of redemption. I can see that I am making up for the mistake of relinquishment, but I am not 100% sure who I am redeeming myself to.
WHEN: Saturday, June 28th at 11: 30 a.m.
WHERE: Alfond Auditorium.
WHY: Roxbury International Film Festival; Boston, MA
WHAT: Film Premier of “You Have His Eyes”
How can we be “good” if we do relinquish, but “bad” for considering the act that would eventually be “good”? Does not the final goodness cancel out the bad?
First meeting of Dayton Ohio Adoption support group will be on June 19th, 2014 at Vandalia Rec Center.in Dayton, OH. Open to birth parents, adult adoptees, siblings, adoptive parents, and significant others In conjunction with Adoption Network Cleveland.
If you have ever searched, then you know that the numbers of “online adoption reunion registries” is daunting. There is no lack of places to look through or to register with, but many are outdated, cumbersome and really NOT searchable. There comes a time when one must say “it’s time to build a better mousetrap”. Enter iReunion. iReunion is a new adoption search and reunion that is an App based program designed to search FOR YOU! Once you register and if no internal match be found, the software will search web-based sources for a potential match. It will actually network with over half a million other registries beyond the internal listings. It searches 24/7 on your behalf and gives you back any potential matches.
When I really look at my own attitudes towards racism, then I am no different than the white adoptive parents who refuse to see the racism that their children experience because they are also “not racists.” Just because a person refuses to see it, doesn’t mean it is not there and, in this case, doesn’t mean that they can’t blunder into it. In fact the refusal to even think about the impact of my own words because I was so above it meant that I did, in reality, contribute. I can’t even say it is a silence that created my complicity, but a refusal to even consider the possibility that made it possible.
Met Ana; she was told that she had the 30 day revocation timeframe under PA law because she is from PA, she lives in PA, she was told the family lived in PA, and the baby was born in PA, only to now be told that it’s a New Jersey adoption. Of course, New Jersey does not have a revocation of adoption consent period recognized by law. How convenient.
Grandma’s Experiences Leave a Mark on Your Genes with genome regulation and methylation, Why DO People Insist on Believing Things that Aren’t True and how to be heard- aka Online Attack For Choosing Adoption Is Not OK and Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Pregnancy in Prison plus a really kick ass comment!
Where: Rosendale Cafe 434 Main St.m in Rosendale, NY 12472 845.658.9048
When: June 13, 2014 – 8:00 pm
Why: An Evening with Mary Gauthier
Tickets: $20 at the Cafe ( get there early for a seat and get dinner! )
The National Council For Adoption will host the 2014 National Adoption Conference at the Buena Vista Palace in Orlando, Florida. I will not be attending but I DO implore that if anyone CAN, to please DO so. Our voices cannot be heard if we do not demand a seat at the table.
As I have long said that there is a strong correlation between what happens in surrogacy and what happens in adoption, so a film like Breeders is very important. It is an honest look at the risks of surrogate mothers and the commoditization of fertility and pregnancy, egg donations, and assisted reproductive technology in regard to human rights violations and women’s empowerment. Surrogacy is making all the same mistakes that have been made in adoption and have not yet learned from the past decades of education and awareness because the two have been seen as separate, but it’s really not very different.