NY’s Child-Parent Security Act #A04319 and S02765 has been introduced to legalize compensated surrogacy in New York, and provide “protections” that ensure surrogates are entering into legal agreements and there’s no question that the intended parents of the child have full rights that they paid for.
Of course, also included in the proposed legislation are the already archaic practice of sealing the ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE.
By Mirah Riben “ “Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE Imagine sharing your feelings of missing your deceased father (or brother) and hearing: “Be glad you still have your mother (or sister)” as if your loved ones are interchangeable. Such a response would be off target, dismissive, and…
Personally, I think this whole “people have a right to build a family any way they feel comfortable with” ideal is just seriously messed up. Yes, we DO have a right, as a society, or judge others and say “Hey, this is not cool. ” I mean isn’t that how civilization decides on things? Isn’t that how we put it in place that we are not allowed to kill each other? Isn’t that how slavery was ended? Isn’t that how laws that prevent things like their and beatings and rape and abuse happen? Isn’t that how we are supposed to things like stop bullying? We are supposed to say something? Educate? Stand up and be heard? There are certain practices that happen in adoption, that are considered acceptable by the industry that are NOT acceptable and are deemed hurtful by the community who is tired of being preyed upon. What are we supposed to do? Sit back and say nothing because others might be upset? Sorry, that just not in my DNA.
So what I read is a educated therapist adoption professional who SHOULD have access to all the known research of birthmother grief and is seemingly choosing to ignore it instead repeating the propaganda laden ideals of how we WANT adoption to be. The studies clearly state that our grief intensifies over time. There is no peace. A birthmother’s grief is continuous, disenfranchised and complicated. An “article” like this only serves to lead both adoptive parents and any birthmothers up to fail. This supposed two year window sets a stage where people are going to expect that grief will lessen after two years which is a direct contradiction of the research. Now granted there is limited research on birthmother grief, but that gives even more reasoning to expect that Ms. Mantell should be familiar with the facts she speaks of.