I don’t really have much right to talk about Racism and Adoption

That’s just the plain honest truth. Give me discrimination. Give me injustice. Give me prejudice, but I’m pretty much at a loss when it come to writing about Racism. What do I know?

I mean What DO I Know About Real Racism/

White chick, grew up in a white town, went to a pure bred white school. There was one mixed race guy in the whole school. One. I married a white man and I have all white babies; not because it was a choice, but because what just was. I know what Racism is. I know it’s real. I know it’s out there and I know it sucks. But I’m not a raciest and I don’t teach my kids to be.

But still, I have a much right or as much ability to talk about Racism from a real and organic point of view as I could write about being a duck.

I’m not a duck. I can’t imagine what it is like to be a duck . I could research and pontificate about the ideals of being a duck. I could try to be understanding and empathetic regarding the blights facing a duck. Maybe I could try to compare my life to a life as a duck? I could imagine how it’s like to be a duck, but I don’t know what I am talking about. I am not a duck.

I could be real and write about stereotyping, but that’s not racism; it’s more of a action that can be caused by racism. I could talk about prejudice, but that’s only a part of the whole picture too. I could talk about discrimination as it relates to adoptee rights again, but that’s not based on race. It’s based on legalities. Actually, there is no racism in adoptee discrimination because all adoptees get screwed out of their original birth certificate no matter what color they are.

Of course there is racism as it applies to adoption:

We can talk about how to deal with racism if a nice white chick like me adopts a black baby and has to deal with the racism that their child will see, feel, live through. I suppose that’s like raising a duck to be a duck if you have never been a duck.

We could think about whether there is some deep set racism in the American adoption culture because we like going to other countries and adopting their children to give them that US bred “better life”. But that’s even reaching in many ways, I think. Yes, people go and “save” babies in the name of adoption. Yes, it does imply a that the families of those nice Chinese, or Guatemalan or Ethiopian babies do not have the ability to raise their own children properly, but I don’t think true racism is the motivating factor there. It’s not based on race, in my opinion. It’s more based on poverty, American superiority, a disrespect of other cultures, little regard for identity & genetics, , the desire to “get” a baby and the guarantee of it through an international adoption, and more. But again, while the American superiority is almost a form of reverse racism, we are not a race.

Then, adoption shows it’s ugly side of racism when we see white children with higher “price tags” than black or Hispanic kids. I think it’s pretty safe to say that we all think that it is just gross, but it is true. Adoption has historically been a “white” thing, and so white babies had a higher demand. I dio remember thinking, when pregnant with Max, how I was high in demand. Yes, I was a white chick carrying a white baby, but I also though that part of the packages appeal was that We are a capitalism society after all and adoption is an industry.

Plus, again historically, it was the middle class white girls that were the favored prey of adoption agencies especially pre-RoevWade. Rich girls could pay of their abortions or had enough money (power) to keep their kids. Poor girls just went on welfare. Babies born to black women who weren’t ready were absorbed within the extended families. It was the middle class, pretending so hard to have perfect virgin daughters in order to impress their suburban neighbors, that found it in their hearts to hide their children in the maternity homes and force their grandchildren to strangers. But that’s not really Racism. Did they only conspire to take the white newborns of the white middle class knocked up chicks because they favored the white babies and because the black babies were inferior? Or was it that we were most vulnerable? That we had no fails safe in place. That culturally, the unwed mother just had no one to care about her rights as a mother?

Adoption overall is pretty much the anti-racist proving ground in many ways. When there got to be that shortage of white newborns to adopt, the adoption industry was quick to find racially mixed kids to be valuable to keeping the profit train moving. When middle class white girls don’t make enough babies to give up, the industry has learned to target women of color in ways that make to them and make it seem like they have come up in the world. And isn’t adoption from outside your own race basically a public statement that one family does NOT concern themselves with racism? Not saying that is the motivation, but it’s out there.. you know?

I don’t know. This is all thought, not real honest life experience, I just don’t have it. I am and always will be in many ways of a privilege class..middle class pure white and pasty and I don’t think that makes me better than anyone else even if some people might. My kids are pure white and pasty too and I doubt they will ever experience racism either. So, I have no right to even pretend I can talk about racism and adoption.

I am just not a duck and I ain’t gonna pretend to be one.

Quack.

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How do you handle racism? GIMH knows that some of you may not have encountered this in adoption but what WOULD you do if you were to encounter it? Thats’ why the Adoption Carnival at Grown in My Heart is about racism! Click on back to read other posts about Racism and Adoption!

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