Yeah, you read that right. I actually am having trouble believing it myself, but it’s true.
On the eve of the final mass preparations for the Adoptee Rights Protest in Philly, I read this comment in my email box from an agency regarding my post about birth mother grief:

This is a stunning, painfully true description of the birthparent experience and we thank you for your candor and courage in reliving it through these words and sharing it… we are so sorry for your lifelong loss. Have you thought of submitting this to “Adoptive Families” magazine for publication? We can’t help but think that this country is filled with prospective adopters (and parents who’ve already adopted) who need to better understand the depths of a
birthmother’s sorrow; this cannot help but impact them, too and any child/ren they adopt. We’ll be making this required reading for all birthparents and adoptive families in our program from now on. Bless you! Here’s wishing you healing, reconnection and the peace that passes understanding.

I emphasised the line that really had me shocked. Now imagine my surprise when there was a follow up email from the executive director asking my permission to reprint the post which also included this:

“…to recognize the lifelong toll it takes and the importance of making sure no one’s daughter must undergo this heart wrenching sacrifice without being absolutely certain a permanent adoption plan truly is in the very best interests of her child, because God knows it is rarely in the best interests of thebirthparent(s).

As an agency, we have been trying very hard to educate the expectant moms with whom we work about the irrevocable scars that this decision will inevitably have upon them, no matter how certain they are that they aren’t ready to parent or how much they dislike their baby’s birthdad or how much they admire their baby’s future family. The moms we work with typically are between 20 and 40, and while most are not frightened teens unaware of their options, even those who are well-aware of the toll that childbirth takes on their body are not often acquainted with the impact that relinquishment will have on their hearts.”

They had already linked to it on their forum. I am trying to be wise, not so trusting and hopeful as is my nature, but I admit that they kinda got to me. Of course, I say go for it and reprint away no matter what, but I think they are actually sincere about it!

Is it that mythical ethical adoption agency that I have been told about? Are they real?

So I look to their website and egads.. they admit right there that open adoption agreements are not legally binding. Oh it still sounds allot like a typical birth parent page.. but REQUIRED reading? Yeah, I’m impressed.

I tell you one thing.. I NEVER would have imagine this day happening 8 years ago.

And yeah, I leave for Philly in two days! STOKED!

Oh and if anyone besides me was getting really annoyed with aborted attempts to open posts here, I fixed it. My blog unfortunately did not like the Adoptee Rights animated gif on the sidebar, so I took it out.

See you in Philly!