For the record, my arm is still very broken.
Yes, if you are not aware of my lack of grace and poise that casued this back in early October, I have been existing for more than the past 7 months with a very broken left humerus.

It pretty much sucks. It’s obviously that no one really likes to break a bone and that it casues pain. That’s a given. I knew that was happening the minute that I relaized that dern, I hurt myself falling. Of course, back then, in early October, I errounously thought that bones healed in 6 to 8 weeks. At least, that is what every other broken bone I ever knew of ever did… they heal.

My arm, though..not healing. After 3 months in a hard cast, then over 3 in a softer brace, I still feel my bones click when I do certian movements like.. wipe down the kitchen counter. After 5 months of “non fusion” which is the medical term, I finally got to see the actual bone doctor. Before that I always saw the other guy.. I forget what his job title is, but I got knocked up to the higher up since my arm will not behave.

I have to give him credit as the first thing he said when reviewing my still bad looking Xray was : “Do you have much pain”. At this point I assume that either I have a HUGE tolerance for pain, or my body has decided that it doesn’t do me any good to hurt so it is blocked out. In either case, I don’t take anything as far as medication and have not for over 6 months. It doesn’t feel good, but it doesn’t kill me either. Mostly, having a broken arm is just annoying as all living hell. Yes, sometimes it aches, and sometimes I get shooting pain, and now the latet thing is that my shoulder and elbow ache from probably overcompensating for movement that I cannot do.

Anyway, back to the doc..what we determined form that visit in March was that my arm is just not healing. He doesn’t quite know why. Aparently, I fall into a weird 1% who have issues….great. Lucky me. Anyway, by one angle, then my bones are lined up, but from the other angle, they are at a 30 degree angle….so basically, I have a hugely deformed looking arm. It bends in the middle where it should be straight and becasue they are not fully ( or at all) fused, when I try to use my arm, then the one part of bone pretty much pops out. It’s kind of like having a third elbow. I can gross people out. It’s like my new super power: FauxClaud she can make you gag with one look at her defomed arm! Whoohoo…

And the best part.. it’s not ever going to be ok again. 🙂

The goal now is to get it to work Ok again, but the bones are just not lined up, nor will they.. so it’s always gonna llok very weird..unless I have the surgery that they said I needed to have the first time they saw my xray. But then, said I was Ok with just the casting becusee I worked in food service and waitstaff..even in fancy 4 star joints don’t get health insurance. Of course, now the docs say that even if I had a million dollars they would have treated me the same way.. I just have a freak arm. And now, even with it NOT healing, they don’t WANt to do surgery becasue I would have to have whatever bone growth there has been, chipped out, and have a rod and screws put in ,and now I would have to have cadaver bone grafts too…yeah, dead peoples bones in my arm..never thought I would want to be ” part Zombie” as Tristan likes to put it.

In the meantime, becaue they now fear the operation aspect of it.. I have been give an bone stimulator machine to try to convince my arm bones to grow. I have to give the docs credit on this. They key word here is GIVEN. It’s a five thousand dollar machine apartently..and they got in touch with the company rep who, that day, met Rye and GAVE me this machine. So every night for about 10 hours, I strap this thing on my arm and go to sleep. It doesn’t do much, but cherp alot..and send electro magnetic pulses to my bones. I have to do this for 112 days.

I’m half way through about.. and I have to say, glad I didn’t pay for this thing becasue I don’t think it is doing squat.

My arm is still very broken. I want to get it filmed for YouTube. I know people like the gross and deformed. Why not make thousands gag.

So, I ignore the fact that I have been walking around for the past 7 months with a broken arm. I drive, I do laundry, I do dishes, I can cook…so really..I function. Some things are really HARD and HURT..like putting my hair in a ponytail or bun…or tweezing my eyebrows….as I only have use form my elbow down. The upper arm can only move a few inches up and down and then my bone pops out and feels all funky. So I have 1 and 1/2 arms.

My brother was freaking out over my arm during my pre-birthday planning; “If we can put a man on the moon, then why can’t they fix your damn arm?” People have trouble understanding how this is happening, but after a few months of being very mopey aboput it, I can deal. Yes, it is a good reason WHY we need national health car, but.. that’s not happening tomorrow either. So I deal. I do what I must..and sometimes I say.. “hey, watch the arm!”

I fiqure in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the best, but it’s not the worst…so I can live with it. And when I get real annoyed I only have to think “It’s better than cancer”.

Now the point of this update.. besides allowing you to hear me bitch and moan..will be seen shortly.