So last Saturday night, I am working at my very glamorous job of serving food to people in the oh, so fancy Terror-dome, and I have a table with a guy that has no hand. Not a big deal or anything, but something you notice and then try not to. No hook, not fake hand, just a stump. Like it was off at his wrist.
That was table 17.
The very next table, on 10, the guy has missing finger tips. Three or four, missing between the first and second knuckles.
What’s with all the Lost Limbs?
So this is odd. I mean, you don’t often really see alot of missing limbs. Its not like I am close to a military or vertarns hospital ( insert purposeful dig at our government and distaste with war). So I make a mental note of it..hmmmm…interesting, right?
So then last night..which is my first night back after my time off..I have a table..and you guessed it! At first I see the flapping sleeve and I think..”No, not again..it just can’t be” and I figure he must have a sling or something, like the arm just has to be under there someplace. But no.
Another man with missing limb..this time form the elbow down. Stump again.
So I am kinda bugging. I mean, that’s just WEIRD. Three guys, all stumpy, in two days?
So I tell Natalie, one of the managers, and her boyfriend, Jack who hangs around when we are there late. And they also bug out and say that it means something. Like a dream interpretation So, because it is late and relatively dead, we discuss what it could mean. What is the universe trying to give me a message of. Should I be careful around sharp knives? Should I warn my family members? I immediately think of Max working the printing presses and him saying how people lose fingers at his job.
Anyway, so Jack and I are looking at the signs. All men, none with prosthesis. All comfortable with their disfigurements. Just living, having dinner, all stumpy and OK..not hiding anything.
And Jack says:
So all of them are comfortable with their loss, not comfortable, really, but that they have accepted their loss.
Do I need to point out how weighted a one liner that is!! Oh hell yeah, that just might pertain a bit to my life and ..well all this!
Jack and I have talked adoption before on these late nights. He likes to play devils advocate with me. Not in a bad way, and it is good practice of how-not-to-kick-someone-in-the-teeth-when-they-say-really-dumb-things. Not that he is dumb, and I like Jack, so I know he really means well…he says this stuff because he is Jack, not because he really believes it.
But then,he makes this statement, so innocently, and wow..talk about hitting the nail on the head. It was just so loaded, the way he phased it. Wow.
Oh I know it can just be a weird coincidence And probably is. I doubt that the Gods are sending me a message by means of amputees. But I shall be on the lookout for more stumps..of course it does fall into my belief that things come in threes…so if I see no more, then that theory is supported. But it was still odd…really odd.
Three loss of limbs in two days and then Jack’s statement:
So all of them are comfortable with their loss, not comfortable, really, but that they have accepted their loss.
I am comfortable, I have accepted. I don’t hide it. I am a mother of loss. You can’t really see it unless you know where to look…unless I wear one of my tshirts. I don’t have a stump. But I still don’t like it. Of course, I gather that none of those men would be thrilled that they had their body parts chopped off either. But I don’t know for sure. I didn’t ask.
Oh Claud, what a great post. What a great way of looking at things, you and Jack.
And this is just such a quotable quote:
“I shall be on the lookout for more stumps”
It made me smile and I really needed to smile today.
You have such a great attitude. 🙂
If you see another stump, can you just ask, “Did Max send you?” 😉
Interesting Claud.
I am “buddies” (ok my 6 year old is!) with two little boys. Identical twins. Adopted in their first year of life. And one, one of these precious little guys is missing half an arm; due to alcohol exposure prenatally, he was born with no arm past his elbow, and tiny (1/8 inch long little fingers in the crease of his elbow).
He also doesn’t use a prosthetic, rather does everything his twin can do, and also with a huge grin of triumph. He will have many, many hurdles to jump due to his loss, and also FAS issues, but still, he faces the world not knowing that there is anything “wrong” with him.
Your thoughts on this were truly inspirational.
Jensboys
as usual, you think like i do. i would also have noticed it and also taken it as some sort of sign. i even follow your loss logic. great book on this kind of stuff – phantoms in the brain.
i often wonder if those who have lost limbs – still FEEL – the lost limb even though it is gone. some research says they do. to me, that explains, to me, why I FEEL my daughter for 21 years even though she is not around me…..
hugs. great post.
My little guy is missing his left hand and not from alcohol exposure.I’ve never heard of that. I never drank while pregnant anyway. Anyway, his is probaly from something called a vascular accident. He does wear a helper hand at times and yes, he is perfect with or without it.
So maybe, it all just means you’re supposed to get to know me. 🙂
Anyway, it’s funny now because I never used to notice people with limb differences and now that I have my guy I see people like him everywhere. They’re just people.
Anyway. Thanks for your great post. It made me a little teary but in a good kind of way.
Geez..I am thinking now that this probably wasn’t all correct useage of PC wording. I am just terrible with that.
I personally have no issue whats so ever with limb issues. I oce dateda guy with nine fingers. He, actually, was happy not to have the 10th finger. It was a pinky that kept on getting some weird bone growth on it, so after like five times, he opted to have the whole finger removed as it was painful to have it grow and then have the surgeries. He was a great boyfriend, such a sweetie!
But how’s this..the guy from last night..was in again tonight!!!
With you staring at him all night, he probably thinks he has a chance 🙂
Jensboys
“Accept” and/or “at peace”.
Very different than “in denial”.
I love this post. Heck, I’ve lost count at how many of your posts I love.
Reminds me of “is the glass 1/2 full or 1/2 empty?”
I agree..truly inspirational!
What a great post!
On another note, I don’t know if it was the fact that it was mother and son but your reunion pictures really got to me. As a son, it is great to read the mother’s perspective of reunion.
They could be high altitude mountain climbers – finger/ limb loss from frostbite happens.
Well there wasn’t a mountain top conventin going on either..and the mountains here are not Everst..so all three of them losing limbs the smae way eould be even weirder than just having three random limb loses.