Honestly, really. I think I should get paid off for relinquishing Max to adoption. The happy fuzzy feelings from relinquishment and my adoption counseling has worn off. It’s been gone for years now. Instead, I think maybe getting at least some cash for the years of pain and suffering won’t do any good in getting back what I lost, but nothing ever will. At least, I could get some new…
You try living with a broken arm for 21 months and then no one will give you a referral and the insurance gods want you to pay even though you are covered but god forbid they actually help you!
Back to “normal” life, but nothing would ever be the same normal again. That was always the bit of irony about adoption. You went through this experience, this incredible perceived “sacrifice” and certainly a heartache for the ultimate plan to not have your life changed, but no one tells you how unavoidable that is. You can’t have a baby and place it for adoption with the experience changing your very…
This is hard. I hate it, but I’m coming clean. I hate that I am feel seen as some kind of super strong birthmother because I am suppose to be immune to this sort of thing in my head. Guess what..I’m human. I’m not perfect. In fact, I am probably just as messed up as everyone of us. I just hide it well. Periodically, people ask me how my reunion…
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1“ As an unmet, joyful and excited couple marveled and cooed over my precious baby, now theirs.. I was then packing all my meager belongings, waiting for my mother, sad goodbyes, uncomfortable silence, more feelings of shame. As they fussed over the first diapers changed, and made happy phone calls, I was on the cold drive back..5 hours due to…
My Dear President, First, I must thank you. For the first time in long 8 years, I can admit that I do again have a president. I like that I can feel proud to be an American again. We have been waiting for you. Now I know you have too many things on your plate right now and in the scheme of things, what I ask from you probably will…
I’m American and I indeed, think it is very important for the US government to do something about this mess the health care industry is in and that I have to suffer for.
Sometimes adoption just confuses me. Not in the regular old sense like “how does all this corruption continue and why won’t so many people bother to see the so logical truth” or “how exploitive and sleazy will agencies have to get before moms see through their tricks?”, but in the tradition of the Talking Heads: Well how did I get here? The fact remains that the relinquishment of my son…
Maybe it was because I spent almost two hours on last Tuesday evening talking to a reporter about how my seemingly very progressive agency was using acceptable, but subtly coercive tactics to point me only relinquishment, and it weakened my inner stone wall. Maybe it is because it’s almost Mother’s Day as well and between having lost my own mother many years ago, plus being a mother who lost one…
There was a good article shared by Dawn on Facebook form the Boston Globe: Can a mother get a break? Essays wonder why women are so hard on each other. The whole pretense is something I have been wondering about and have pondered for some time, of course, in pretense of being a birthmother and how society decrees who deserves to be a mother.
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1 To tell him that I was having his child and giving it up for adopton, giving him no choice on the matter, because the timing was too late was unfair. I actually wrote that ignorance was bliss. I suppose it is, in a way. He knows nothing of all that was felt. In his memory, if I am in…
I was combing through my adoption information link list and the list for AAI caught my eye. For many of us, we “began” online on MSN Groups..Adoption, Adoption Insights, Anti-Adoption Insights. The first few years of my online existence were over at those places. They are where I learned to write. It’s where I learned… I clicked it and the site was gone.
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1 We did keep on seeing each other. In fact, most of the trysts and dates and sex, happened after I was with child. Every time I would tell myself that I just had to tell him and I never could though it stuck on the tip of my tongue like a bad sore. Now I am a small person…
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1 I returned home from New York City, hastily packed, defeated, depressed, and full of fear. Back to my room, back to the life of which I so wanted to get away from and this time without any dreams of escape. My physical load much lighter, but my heart filed with failure and regrets, now fearful and more doubtful of…
This story begin’s here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1“ My parents probably should never have married. I think that they were not well matched at all. Married at 23, I think my mom did it to escape her own parent’s house. She never did get very far, always living within a few miles of her own parents house, but she at least, had her own home to rule….