My best friend is currently in a mental health facility. That’s the nice way of putting it of course, the PC way, which I am not, even if it is my best friend. When I talk to her, we joke about her being in the nut house.
I want you to imagine, really, being Judy Bennett. I want you to think about if Stephanie Bennett was YOUR child, if Evelyn Bennett was YOUR granddaughter, and you were just an “Obstacle”. I want you to think about what you would do if you had this agency in front of you and keeping your grandchild from you. What if no one cared? What would you do for help?
But what I hated the MOST was how they were able to totally sweep away any normal adoptee feelings for wanting to know their natural mothers and the reason for their relinquishment. How the total message of the movie was that the PAST DOESN’T MATTER. KEEP MOVING FORWARD. So, a bright future..especially if it is known…is way better than any questionable past! And our Louis gives up his chance to see his mother, to touch her, to look into her eyes, to stay with her…for this glorious future. Got to choose, eh? Can’t have both? Nah, he couldn’t have still been a great inventor and met his wife, had is son…IF he met his mom? NOOOOOO!
The Angels in Adoption™ Program, CCAI’s signature public awareness program, which provides an opportunity to all members of the U.S. Congress to honor the good work of their constituents who have enriched the lives of foster children and orphans. This program includes an annual event in Washington, D.C., the Angels in Adoption™ gala, which is geared toward highlighting ordinary people doing extraordinary things. These “unsung heroes” are selected by members of the U.S. Congress.
I have to go back to the voices that helped me in my beginning.
Robin at Motherhood Deleated, Adoption Roadkill at Screams in the Dark Back to K at Without a Tribe, Julie at Lizard Chronicles and even though she has not added much at all in this past year, LittleBit Jennifer..THESE are the voices that I heard first..the one who taught me, the one who challanged me, the one who I listened to, the one who gave a place for so many to first speak, and another who I could aslo listen to.
And the big question..Oh what do you do? Enter the adoption world.
But what was GREAT..is that here is person, with no ties to adoption..and she got it..right off the bat. I didn’t need to explain or defend or nothing. In fact, when she asked how old I was when I had Max…and I said 19, she said “Not so young, but young enough that other people could really influence what you did” BINGO!
Three loss of limbs in two days and then Jack’s statement:
So all of them are comfortable with their loss, not comfortable, really, but that they have accepted their loss.
I am comfortable, I have accepted. I don’t hide it. I am a mother of loss. You can’t really see it unless you know where to look…unless I wear one of my tshirts. I don’t have a stump. But I still don’t like it. Of course, I gather that none of those men would be thrilled that they had their body parts chopped off either. But I don’t know for sure. I didn’t ask.
Maine does not plan to give up, nor to compromise the basic human, civil right for every citizen to have access to their original truthful (sadly not always the case) birth certificate, for the same nominal fee.
Now I know she is asking for infertility and still born stories..and I don’t mean to smarf all over their chance to get heard. So nothing personal here ya’all. This isn’t a grief contest, just a chance too for us birthmothers.
I don’t really KNOW what I am doing, I just do it. I do what I have to do, I do what I want to do. I treasure those moments when all seems right in the world. Going out sometimes, or just all hanging on our bed..and it hits me..I have so much..look at us.
I can’t go back though time. I can’t really save myself. There was no pregnant girl looking like me, standing around, waiting, on the streets of Newton when we drove though. Not even a ghost. But on coming home, yeah, something did come back with me. Happiness no longer must work around that blackness to reach though me to the other side, now it just shines though..it is like I am made of glass. See me, I am full.
So I have this list of four pages, small font, of all the people who were at the ACC conference. I talked to many people about a lot of things. I never give away enough cards. So I was all planned out to come home, make this great database. email list for there. I want to send out a Email basically saying hi, hope I got to talk to you, but if…
The fact is..there are ENOUGH moms who relinquished who are saying…hey, it didn’t work like that. And enough adoptees say the same thing. Human nature is different than the plan and the beliefs. They were built on faulty principles Not your fault, not mine..lets blame the adoption industry. They have known for some time, they have had the information at hand, and still they kept throwing this pipe dream at us all and selling us all down a river.
I love the way we are like mirror images of each other. Our bodies are turned in the same way, held at the same angles. Even the holes in our pants, the wrinkles on our coat arms are the same. The way we hold our arms at our sides, both hands closed in fists. We match so well. I like to the one with all of us, where I am elbowing Matt, He refused to “show teeth” when he smiled. Which is really funny as I never noticed that before about him, but I have the same trouble with Tristan. The damn kid won’t smile big just like his uncle.
Even with all that you see here, all that I DID sign, all that I was told, I still felt that I had no choice. I did this because it was the only thing I could do. And I signed all, I agreed to all, I waived all because I was trying to be the best dern birthmother the agency had ever had. I wanted them to be so proud of me. I wanted acceptance and I knew that by being “strong”, by being determined, I would make them happy. I would prove my worth.