The Appeal as the Fight with Adoption By Gentle Care Continues

It’s early morning in downtown Columbus, Ohio. We are waiting our turn at the Ohio 10th District Franklin County Court of Appeals to fight Adoption by Gentle Care once again. This is the day we have been waiting for, the day that was always bound to happen and HAD to happen after the Courts ruled in favor for Adoption by Gentle Care back in August.  This is the day that ALL the transcript purchases and briefs and replies and filings had all led up to. We sit and watch now as the legal teams say their pieces and ask three judges to look deep into their hearts and find the strength to do the right thing for one little boy.   We must rely on these three human beings to help us Bring Camden Home.

The court has a very sterile feeling. There is only a small handful of people there. Everything feels very cut and dry. Clean. Crisp. No time for drama and monkeying around. We are on the 23rd floor and I take that as an auspicious sign. The number 23 is “lucky” in my house. Huge windows flank the walls and outside there is a lovely view of Columbus shining in the cold spring air. I glaze at the city and the clouds dancing above.

Carri sits next to me. She is twitching and I know it is not the one cup of coffee that we managed to throw down our throats this AM that makes her feet move in rapid patters. She tells me she is nervous. She says her nerves are bad. She says she doesn’t feel good. She is going to puke. I tell her to breath deep. We repeat this conversation. She does not puke. I knew she would not. The one thing I have learned for sure about Carri in this past year; she does NOT give up and no matter how hard things get, and wow.. this has been a brutal year.. she will do it.

The three judges, two women, one man, sit behind what looks to be a cherry and oak huge bench. This bench crosses the whole length of the room, separating us and the lawyers, from the judges, from justice.  I really just want to cross that divide and just be able to sit with these folks, who I see as just human beings, and tell them what has been going on in this little boy’s life. I want to plead with them to please do the right thing and make this family whole again. But the “process” means briefs and files and wait times and others who posture and dance, more hurry up to deadlines, and then wait wait wait, more wasted time, lost forever,  wasted by this unethical adoption agency, in this  baby’s life. All I can do is sit and watch and hope.

Arriving at the Court House for Camden’s Appeal

I had left Boston post the American Adoption Congress’s Conference Monday morning and flew directly to Columbus for Carri’s case.  Blessed by both the timing of the events and Search Angel Priscilla Stone Sharp’s generous donation of air miles that fueled my flights, we had planned complete “radio silence” after I left Massachusetts. The idea being that no one, especially Adoption by Gentle Care, would know I was in town until we checked in on the court house steps.

The idea was to blindside  AGC, perhaps rattle their cage a bit and have a tiny physiological advantage. I think it worked some? Fellow Mom known as Jay’s Original was waiting for us on the 23rd floor and was privy to the arrival of the Adoption by Gentle Care staff. Apparently they emerged from the elevators in a bit of a flutter chatting about how they ” almost walked right into us” down stairs.  I could chuckle in satisfaction at that.

We had been downstairs to witness AGC Attorney Patrick Hamilton’s arrival.  As I stated then, he was much grayer and aged in person than his pictures let on.  He has that “well preserved” greasy “Grecian Formula for Men” look of a snake oil salesman.
He walks with his head pushed too far away from his body; like an invisible thread is pulling him along. Perhaps it is the devil. I did not, I believe, ever really hear him utter one word. Once inside the court, when he took his place, only hushed whispers came from their lawyer’s table when their heads were close together.

It looked like most of the Adoption by Gentle Care office staff was in attendance.  It was said that normally folks would not be attendance especially if one was confident and found the matter to be not such a big deal. Perhaps it was made “mandatory”, like an staff meeting?  They gathered together like a flock of mangy hens cackling, first in one of the smaller hallways, and then later on along a bench.  At one point before the oral arguments, Carri and I did require a minute in the ladies room, an entrance that was essentially blocked by their vile grouping. It was without hesitation that we marched through them and made them part like the Red Sea. While I did not look too carefully, I think they, at least, looked respectable on the outside and not a flip flop was to be seen. I still wonder who they sleep at night.

Understanding the Actual Appeal Process

I know keeping track of how these things wind their ways through the courts is confusing. For that reason, I am grateful that I have been able to be on top of the case from the beginning and can understand the steps better. I can actually explain how it works this time.

This was the oral arguments to support appealing the judge’s ruling back in August from the Juvenile Court. Both sides have already submitted their written reasoning’s on why they felt the judge had either gotten the ruling right, or for us, wrong.  The three Appellate judges have to read and review the entire set of transcripts from the original trial and the judges final ruling. They have to read and review all the evidence that had been already submitted including the infamous “Exhibit K” which is the damning case notes from Adoption by Gentle Care. They then read the briefs written by both Carri’s and AGC’s sides that use other case laws to support or defend their positions.

In a perfect world, they have done ALL this already and NOW was the final opportunity to bring the gist of the case home and answer any specific questions proposed by the three judges. Then they will go back and review more, discuss the merits among themselves and decide; did the original judge get it right when he dismissed the Writ of Habeas Corpus in favor of Adoption by Gentle Care or did he get it wrong? The  writ basically states that AGC is withholding Camden away from Carri unlawfully and, as she WAS pressured and not able to make a truly informed decision, the consent is not valid and AGC does NOT have the right to detain her baby.  The judges can also say that there were mistake in the original trial and remand  the case. That means that we have to go back to that court and redue some parts of it or specific parts, or even the whole thing.

This “Oral Argument” part is brief. It’s our turn first and we do get to have the last word as well. Carri’s Lawyer Steven Hillman begins and mentions the basic faults of the case. As I was physically there, I can report what was said from what I took in my notes this time. Rather than give a direct blow by blow, it’s probably easier to understand if I break it down via specific argument.

Hearsay Regarding ” What Jeff Said” and Carri’s State of Mind

In the original trial there were certain parts of Carri’s testimony that were ruled as hearsay and hence, not allowed.  AGC’s side actually agreed that ruling this was indeed not hearsay and should have been admitted as what Carri believed at the time of the surrender was contingent on his statements. It all contributed to her state of mind. Of course, AGC contends that hearing more of the same “wouldn’t matter”, but right there it seems that this ruling negated her right to explain the situation fully.

The issue of duress from Jeff is very important as both court events does have AGC admitting that they knew Jeff was pressuring Carri.  It’s also clearly stated in the case notes that Gentle Care knew at the time. They tried to submit that it doesn’t matter if the duress came from a third party, as long as it was NOT them pressuring Carri to relinquish and tried to use actual CONTRACT law to defend that. Yuck.  However, their own policy also states that they will NOT accept a relinquishment from any who is being pressured and there are previous adoption cases where third party duress did matter (as it should).

Also in support of the pressure and duress is the fact that all this happened in a very small time frame that contributed to the crisis mentality. As stated, it might have been one thing is Jeff had made his wishes known to Carri back in November when they began dealing with the pregnancy. In November, Carri could have actually physically packed up all their stuff, found another suitable home for her family, and been prepared for Camden without Jeff.  However, come two and half weeks before giving birth and already dilating while full term, it becomes physically IMPOSSIBLE to make that move.

I saw the actual evidence of what Carri did end up moving; let me tell you, leaving Jeff at that time before Camden’s’= birth could NOT have happened. Just the stuffed animal totes alone could not have happened at full term!  Also important to note that both of the female judges  seemed to state that they both personally had C-sections and the one male judge chimed in alluding that his wife has, so they come from a place where they can also  understand what the physical limitations were as well as the mental and emotional possibilities of such a move or decision made at that time.

What Adoption by Gentle Care SHOULD HAVE DONE is not ignore that Jeff was clear pressuring Carri to do something she clearly did NOT want to do and said;

“Hey, wait a minute… if YOU don’t want to do this, then we need to find a solution so you don’t have to.”

Carri was the birth parents social worker’s client at the time and CARRI’s best interests should have been her job. That is what Carri trusted them to do, what all moms trust the agencies to do.  This is one clear way that AGC failed.

The Option of the 30 Day Temporary Foster Care

One of the other big issues that the judges specifically asked about was Carri’s “Options Counseling”.  Now,  we come to the root of the issue of choice here. You an only have a true choice IF you have more than one option that is realistic and viable. For Carri, in those few days before Camden’s birth, due to the pressure from Jeff, she thought she could relinquish OR find herself and all kids stable lives rocked and watch her children be unprepared and devastated  which as a mother she really could NOT do, ( so that’s NOT an option) OR  send Camden to what she knew of Foster Care.  The issue here becomes what Carri thought foster care was and what Adoption by Gentle Care did to educate her about the option of foster care. Carri believed foster care was a nasty dirty run down hose with dirty naked kids, etc.  It was a “bad” place to have her baby in and hence, NOT an option.  The ONLY “option” that was at least safe for ALL her kids was to relinquish Camden, but again, where AGC failed is to explain that she DID have other options.

So it comes down to what Carri believed and whose responsibility is it to make sure she was aware of her options.  Now AGC has said already that they “rushed” though stuff because Carri wanted to be fast and she had no questions.  They have said that it’s basically not their fault that she didn’t want to hear it and she “had a pamphlet” that explained it all.   Even Carri did admit that she never even looked at the files they gave her at the first meeting in the Bob Evan’s restaurant.  But as Steven stated in Court on Tuesday ” Who put this mother in charge and let her run the show?” Isn’t that what the agency “professionals” are supposed to do? Don’t we have them here and are they not trained so that they can make sure that the natural families rights are ensured?  I mean, if Carri is, as they claim, in crisis “like EVERY other birthmother” then should they not know that they often have to basically FORCE a mom to hear the unpleasant realities even if she would rather be dissociated from the whole process because it hurts?

So whether or not Adoption by Gentle Care  appropriately “discussed” the 30 day temporary  foster care option and Carri was aware of it is a big deal. If they had not, then they denied Carri the very thing that could have given her the time to have Camden, and THEN move her family. But here we have Carri thinking Foster Case is basically unsafe, AGC instead of correcting her, using that to add to the pressure (if you say this then it will disrupt the adoption process and the baby will go to (dirty nasty) foster care) and this mysterious ‘pamphlet’ that supposedly held ALL the information Carri SHOULD have read so she would have been informed. AGC is somehow “safe” because they provided the pamphlet of options to her.

I happened to have finally read this “smoking gun” pamphlet and looked for “all the information” regarding this specific “30 day temporary placement”. It’s right in front of me right now and I have to you; NOT ONE PLACE DOES IT MENTION THE 30 DAY OPTION.  

So even if Carri HAD read the damn thing, she STILL would NOT have KNOWN UNLESS AGC HAD told her. It’s the JOB of the “specially trained Adoption Assessor” aka Kelli Shumacher, to talk to her about “services and options.”   And they didn’t. What SUCKS is that this damn pamphlet is NOT evidence and that cannot be fixed unless the case is remanded.

“Doesn’t Every Mother Really Have Choice?”

This is the part where my heart stopped for a second and I know we ALL inwardly groaned.  The  one lone male judge  reiterated the horrible adoption mythology “choice” belief.  Basically the question being that while her choices might have been not the best and uncomfortable, did Carri not really always have a choice.  Now this question was in the midst of the questioning and while yucky, does revert back to the crux of the whole issue.  Much of what the decision can be based on does revert to whether the judges feel Carri was under duress. So it might seem based on just this question alone, that this judge might not be favorable to us, he later also asked the most important question in this whole case. Paraphrasing to the best of my notes and memory:

 “Given that the adoptive parents withdrew their petition to adopt this baby, given the background of this case, given the other siblings and successful home life, and given her reluctance to relinquish, WHAT DAMAGE WOULD HAVE COME to the AGENCY to have honored the request?”

This was asked directly to the Adoption by Gentle Care side and for once, they actually did not lie, though the truth does hurt them.  Previous to this their basic argument has been, as always, “she signed the paper, she made her choice, she knew what she was doing, we did what we had to, it’s irrevocable, oh well.”

In the Best Interest of a Child or an Adoption Agency?

But to his direct question, they answered that the “agency needed to defend themselves” you know, from us evil folks saying mean things online. Now this is true,. We know they were considering returning Camden after the first family returned him and they probably would have if Camden’s father had not been such a piece of crap and tried to fight for his son, but he didn’t.   They instead, decided to call Carri’s bluff and hope she would give up. They wanted to punish her for daring to speak the truth. And they hated me.  So they fought to keep Camden away because they wanted to hurt Carri and prove their ability to be right. To keep the relinquishment consent sacred. To not send the message that “all any birthmother has to do is hook up with the right blogger to get their baby back.” It would have been better for AGC if they had come up with a better reason that perhaps had SOMETHING to do with the welfare and best interests of this baby, but they didn’t. They  did admit that their best interest was paramount in their decision making. In fact, not ONCE did they even talk about Camden’s needs at all. It was all about them and how they are so perfect and they were so wronged. They came across as the heartless, cold  monsters that they are.

And even though much of their briefs consisted of a continue character assassination of Carri that might have supported keeping Camden away and perhaps made it even seem like they might have cared, the issue of Carri’s ability to parent did NOT get mentioned at all. In fact, they agreed and  it was stated that she DOES successfully parent her other children.  The lack of questions by the court also seems to allude that her past and character is NOT an issue, which is good for our side indeed.

Instead, AGC talked about how they had been harassed, and how the original adoptive family had been  victims of a “campaign of harassment”. This supposed “harassment” has already been completely debunked by the factual time line of events.  Thankfully, the real reason that the original family decided to return Camden is in the ‘Exhibit K” case notes and it had way more to do with Camden’s well being. I wonder what the judges will think when they read it for themselves?

Again We Wonder, Where is Camden?

Another point of interest, Carri’s side brought up that Cam has been in at least 3 placements, maybe four. Adoption by Gentle Care never corrected that. If he was still with foster family number 2, who we had thought were wanting to keep him if the case was lost, then why would they NOT state that he was with some version of a pre-adoptive placement and did not need to be moved again? Why would they NOT make it seem like at least they cared about him in that way?  But they didn’t. They let the question of 3 or 4  possible families just hang in the air.

And with that, we have begun to think that yes, they moved him again? Who knows? There were no confessions on Tuesday.

And Now We Wait for the Courts Decision

Within a hour it was all over.  We all went up to the cafeteria to get in some needed sustenance and being the first rehashing of the day.  I know we shall continue to do this until we have the final answer.

The court can take quite some time to decide, but they case is still considered “expatiated” and of course, there is a child waiting in limbo.  Realistically it should be within the next 30 days. As Carri’s says, we would rather NOT seem them rush , but take their time and read everything again and again.  As it seems everything significant on this case seems to happen on a date of importance, I have it in my head that we will know on MY birthday, the 24th- the anniversary of when I first spoke to Carri last year.

The judges can decide to grant the reversal which would mean granting the original writ and demanding that Camden be returned.

They can also remind the case back to Juvenile court which would mean that things are NOT over, yet, but gives us that chance to add more information and hopefully overthrow the original ruling.

Or the courts can decide to dismiss the appeal.  Only a dismissal is a real unwanted decision on our part. We are pretty damn confident, though, that this cannot happen.  There is just too much factual evidence and case law to show that AGC got it wrong. It would be the court saying that an agencies “reputation” is worth sacrificing the well being of a child and family over. I just don’t think anyone with a heart can find a way to defend that.

So, think positive thoughts. Send vibes of justice and bravery to those judges.  Pray that they have both the hearts to feel and the cahones to do the right thing and #BringCamdenHome.

Please see the main mini site pages on the Unethical Ohio Adoption Agency   pages to continue learning about Carri and Camden’s adoption story and how you can help Bring Camden Home. If you can, please consider donating to the legal fund. Thank you!