So Rye is an news junkie. I used to never ever watch the news or read the papers and before the internet; I really had no idea what was going on the world. Seriously, I was completely in the dark.  I used to be a kick-ass waitress before I broke my arm, and so I used to wait for important bits of current events to trickle down and be overheard at my tables.

I can’t claim the same now as the nights TV viewing pleasure was the Democratic National Convention. We had our fill of snippets from the RNC as well, though we really couldn’t stomach that full on for long periods of time. As I listened to both parties speak of the glories of the USA, I saw, yet again, a huge parallel between the ideal of the American Dream and the ideal of the Adoption Dream. Yes, I can see adoption in everything. It’s rather like an affliction.

Julian Castro was speaking about how American is the country of wonderful opportunities where anyone and everyone has the chance to make something of themselves and have a dream that “work would be rewarded”. And of course I want to believe this, I really do. And on some level I do believe it. I live it. But something inside of me wants to cry bullshit.
Yes, it’s harsh to call bullshit on the American Dream, but sometimes it can be a dangerous way of thinking. See the thing is, I don’t really believe that everyone in this country has the same chances an opportunities that I have. Not everyone in this country can make the same choices and take the same chances that I can. Some people DO have more support and some people never got much of a chance.  I’m sure to some people I might be considered lazy and not worth their time, like 47% of the country according to their imaginations, and to some people maybe I am lucky and they can’t image such a life.

We Are Not all Created Equal

The fact is, all people are not created equal. We deserve equality. We should be treated equally, but we are NOT equal.  We are not born equal and we do not live on equal playing field.  Yet the American Dream supports the concept that no matter how far below one begins, no matter how rough the path is, everyone has the chance to create a life where all their dreams can be achieved. All they have to do is work hard and really want it. If they want it, then they can make it work. Long enough, hard enough, the reward will come. If not, then they are freeloaders, like 47% of the country.

But we all know the exceptions to that rule..or at least I like to think that the thinking intelligent know there are exceptions to the rule. Maybe they are the 47% that have hearts as well as minds, but just not money?. If fact, we, people with hearts and minds and souls, probably know more exceptions that don’t end up where they had hoped and worked so hard for. We know regular people just like us who just get up and try every day to get through and if we are lucky come out a tad ahead and go to bed feeling like something positive got accomplished.

As a society, through, it seems like those people don’t count, even among ourselves. We worship and praise the rags to riches stories, but the fact is most of us don’t really end up living a happily ever after ending. Cinderella, Steve Jobs, Barack Obama are the exceptions.

Equality Starts With Equal Choices, Equal Opportunities

For the American Dream to be true, we all have to start at the same place all 100% of us.  Equal terrain, equal footing, same sneakers, same point in time, same breakfast of champions. That doesn’t happen. I know that’s just life. That’s reality,  but the reality is that the American Dream is really a pipe dream.

The problem with believing that everyone starts at the same starting line is that when they don’t win the race, we blame them. We blame the poor for being poor. We blame the rape on the women’s clothes. We blame the mothers for get pregnant. We blame the addicts for their addiction. Fifty tree percent blames the other 47% or at least thinks them tax moochers.

If they worked harder,  were more attentive, used birth control, or had stronger willpower, these people could be Steve Jobs and pay taxes.  Or at least have a nice  house, nice clothes, health insurance, and the portion of the American Dream that is allotted to us. But it’s not fair and it’s not true, so I call bullshit.

Ok maybe we can’t all be Steve Jobs. We can accept that we are not geniuses, but we just all want what is presented to us as our own version of the American Dream and we think that if we work hard enough and do what’s right then we get what we want. But it doesn’t work like that. If it did, then there would be way less than 47%

Come on. You all can think of someone who has worked as hard as possible. Who has done everything right, who has a pure heart and spirit and, no matter what, they just do not get a break. Maybe they have worked incredibly hard and have managed to pull themselves up to a level much higher than they had started, but then either it all comes tumbling down, or maybe that’s where it stops and they just can’t get and farther. Maybe they just have  a terrible string of bad luck or eventually, something, somewhere, just breaks them down so completely and utterly that they become a shell of their true selves.

Glorify the Winners, Blame to Loser

What happens when we glorify the American Dream and believe it to be ideally true, we dismiss the struggle of all who did not make it, who could not make it.  And that’s the thing. I understand that some people just will not make it. No matter what.  They don’t have the same chances. We do not live in that world where we all start at the same starting line, with the same sneakers.  Some are running on open wounds and sore, bare naked feet and some have custom made running shoes and a runners body inherited from their ancestors.

We think equal means expecting that we will applaud whomever runs faster..looking past who they are, where they began. We praise the winner simply because he won;  he was faster and don’t look at his build or his shoes. And we expect that the loser should just work harder to get new shoes and maybe, if he tries again and again, if he wants it bad enough, he will win.

But that’s not starting off as equals, that’s accepting someone, anyone,  who beats the odds, who wins the race. Yeah, we’ll give anyone the same prize at the end, but we certainly don’t start on equal footing. We never have.

This is America and we run on money as our biggest value. The fact is that those who have more money to begin with have a better chance. They have more opportunities and more choices. They win more often, those 53%

Point in fact: historically adoption is a middle class institution. The wealthy could afford birth control and abortions even when illegal. They could marry if they wanted or even support the rebellious mother should she choose to parent alone. The middle class could afford the ideals of social mores. They could send their daughters away and pretend to maintain the status quo illusion. The poor could not afford either and just kept their babies. Besides, you don’t really want those poor people’s kids. They are poor because they are lazy.

We did not have equal choices when faced with unplanned pregnancies.

As I watch the political arena of these past years, and as I see those who have the money and power trying to take more and more of the control, I am again struck by how like adoption it is.

Adoption, Power and Money

The corporations and special interest groups have the all power and only want more. They fund the candidates who are then beholden to their needs. They demand more laws, tax breaks, bailouts, and funding that will benefit themselves and act like trickledown economics works. They seem to want us to think that the rest of us will be grateful for the crumbs thrown our way, that we have some say, and that our own misery is somehow our own fault. They deserve what they have because they worked harder, were smarter, wanted it more. And if we mention that they had custom made running shoes, they they cry out class warfare and call us deadbeats who just want a free ride.

The adoption industry does hold most of the power and they only want to control us more. They support the adoptive parents because it is the “adoption fees” that pay their bills. The changes in adoption laws,  for the adoption credit tax breaks, the adoption funding, the shorter revoke timelines, and pro adoption propaganda only benefit their own needs. They want the rest of us to think that they have somehow done us a favor and we should be grateful of how we have been “saved”. The adoptee should be happy of their “better” life and not have been aborted or thrown into a dumpster. While birthmothers have “more power”, call all the shots, can have “the amount of contact we want”, yet it’s our own fault for getting knocked up in the first place. We deserve what we get because we were now smart enough, but now, if we are stronger, more selfless, and want what is best, we might have a chance.  And if we mention that it all comes down to money or lack of,  they cry foul and tell us to get therapy.

The American Dream, Communism, Adoption, Trickledown Economics all look good on paper, but none of them take into account the reality of Human Nature.  We are selfish, we are greedy and we will take the advantage. We have feelings and emotions and hearts and souls that should be considered EQUALLY important, but they are not. We live in a world where those who have power and money can buy their way to and get what they want, while the rest of us must be content with crumbs.

I’m happy as hell. I don’t need therapy, but I call bullshit anyway.

I want more than the crumbs given.

I want Equality. I want an even playing field. I want 100%.