A Birthmothers Life

Giving my son away to adoption in 1987

A Birthmothers Life March 22, 2012

Support for Birth* Mothers

Dealing with Birthmother Grief the Only Way I Know How

This blog is mostly about living as a birthmother because since November 18th, 1987, that has been the only way I have left to live. That’s the day I signed the relinquishment papers in some dark office in Newton, MA and there has never been a way to get back to the life that could have been. I gave away my baby to people I had never met and then tried to go on living my life as the agency and everyone else expected me to. It didn’t work.

Adoption Affects Birthmothers for a Lifetime

So, more than 28 years later; adoption is a huge force on my life affect me and my whole family every single day. I have no choice anymore. I can’t go back and change it, so I blog. Chances are, if you have found your way here to this blog, you are needing to know what it means to live the life of a birthmother.

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adoption stories and books

A Birthmothers Life March 23, 2016

Adoption Stories and Books- Birthmother Memoirs to Adoptee Information

While everyone seems to love an adoption story; whether it be adoption horror stories or adoption reunion stories, adoption success stories  or adoption stories gone wrong – these seem to capture the interest of the general public who want to peek into our lives like adoption voyeurs. However, not all books about adoption are stories about adoption. Though the adoption memoir has a place, there are many more informational books about adoption that should also be well known and on everyone’s books shelves.

A Relevant Adoption Book List

There are many MORE books about “how to adopt a child” or even “adoption books for kids”; those will NOT be my primary focus, but some will be included here even if only to even out the lists and also for SEO purposes. I’m going to do my best here to break adoption books down via categories.  Obviously some books will be relevant across the board and serve to meet more than one need.  The books that I HAVE read myself will be so noted, but obviously I have not read them all.

A Birthmothers Life February 6, 2016

7000 Words for the Last 6 Months

In my zeal to help, in my desire to carry the load and rid others, I managed to lose myself. I needed to physically separate myself from all of you so that I could being to understand how *I* felt about adoption and how it was actually affecting my life. I think I literally had no idea what my own emotions were anymore because I was all entwined with everyone else. The anger was most notable absent, but what else was there? This kept me busy for weeks, months. See what I mean about a massive identity crisis?

Birthmother Grief, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers August 14, 2015

In The Funk. Again.

By Susie I’ve been in an adoption funk again for the last couple of weeks.  I know it’s partially because a planned visit to see Christopher in July didn’t happen due to my getting another kidney stone a couple of days before I was supposed to go.  Now we are finding it difficult to find time when we are both free at the same time.  It’s been over a year…

A Father's Right, Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers August 12, 2015

Hate In My Heart

By Cassi I have come to know so many First Moms in my years fighting for Adoption Reform, Adoptee Rights, and even Father’s rights.  Some I consider my greatest friends.  Wonderful allies in this knock-down, painful world of adoption and the fight to change it. Then there are those who I often disagree with.  Believe are playing right into the coercion and manipulation the adoption industry seeks.  Pushing and encouraging…

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Finding Christopher Finding Myself, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Relinquishment August 10, 2015

Shame

By Susie I ordered the new adoption memoir “A Life Let Go: A Memoir and Five Birth Mother Stories of Closed Adoption”. As I was reading the reviews for the book on Amazon, I found my breath taken away by one of them.  One sentence in particular: “…true story of a pregnant teen hiding in the house, frozen and blind to all possibility beyond invisibility, as a baby grew in…

A Birthmothers Life, Rants and Raves July 28, 2015

Pupa: The Transition Stage

I have been in a bad funk while I have been waiting for my hair to grow out so I can cut it off. At least waiting for ONE of the two has come to an end.I cut off all my hair. Not sure if this a transitional color. Not sure if this is still part of the transitional stage. Not sure if I am ready to come out of my chrysalis quite yet, but trying to jump start this processes at least.

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Cassi's Adoption Truth, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers July 23, 2015

The Popular Table

By Cassi So . . . there are many reasons why I have been so neglectful here on my blog. One of the greatest ones is I’m finally giving myself permission to concentrate on my other writing without feeling guilty for doing so.  I can still help.  I can still support pregnant mothers in need.  I can still be an advocate for adoption reform and adoptee rights. But it’s okay,…