Before Making an Adoption Plan

Adoption is not a gift!

Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry November 27, 2007

Looking for that Magic Key!

In the midst of the conversation, we touched upon that just bad feeling that we both have, that we in a certain way, did this to ourselves. Though she was up here at the time, and I on LI and in NYC, being the same age, getting pregnant at the same time, having boys 5 days apart, it was the same time frame and the same social order that we experienced. The greatest difference is that I went the agency route and she fell in with a private lawyer/ private adoption. And as she said “I did this.. I found them”.
“So did I. I called my agency. I sent myself away”

Adoption Facts and research

Adoption Research & Statistics, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment August 30, 2006

Twelve out of Twelve: #2 KP series

Headline: Twelve out of Twelve Scientific Studies find that Relinquishing a Child to Adoption is Harmful to your Health! In the summer of 1999, two certified nurse midwifes published a piece in The Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic and Neonatal Nursing. They took the twelve existing studies on relinquishing mothers from 1978 to date of publication and grouped the data and compared. Their final conclusion? “The relinquishing mother is at risk…

Adoption, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry May 9, 2006

Coersion in Adoption Counseling

The subtle coercion in adoption counseling often does not seem real. “Coercion” is such a harsh word. Adoption is seen as a decision, a wise choice; made by selfless mothers, for the good of others, for the betterment of her child. We give up our babies for adoption. In adoption counseling, we work on making our adoption plans. Adoption agencies do not truly violently rip children out of wailing mother’s…

Choices of the damned; Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Before Making an Adoption Plan, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Cultural Views on Adoption, Relinquishment March 9, 2006

The Choice of the Damned

Yes, I “decided” to lose my child. Yes, I was “very sure”. Yes, technically, I had ‘other options’, but in my heart, in my head..there was no other option just this thing that I must do for us both. I believed what I was told. I wanted to believe it since at least believing it gave me some hope. Of abortion, of parenting..both were dark and cold as seen by me. My views were skewed. Our lives at stake. And I was in no position to make this life long decision. Yes, I needed to be protected from myself.

Inner Momma Bears Roar

Before Making an Adoption Plan, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons March 4, 2006

Momma Bears Unhinged and Non-thinking Pitfalls

How else can a mother be able to walk away from her child except that she feels that it is the best and only thing for her baby’s well being? Where else does she get that strength except from her internal momma bear? And what if that momma bear has been given the wrong messages? What is it is based on crazed idealistic fantasies and stupid lists based on doubt? What if she could harness all that internal strength needed to fight the grief and instead use it to fight all the reasoning behind a possible loss? What if she stopped trying to be the “best birthmother” but tried to be the best mother? What if adoption reasoning and lists and generic feel good thoughts of grateful and happy adoptive parents didn’t get in the way of natures supreme processes?