Adoption is a very isolating experience. Many birth mothers and adoptees go through life without having other people understand the journey and the lifelong affects post-relinquishment. Most birthmother support focuses on pre-birth and immediately post-adoption, but relinquishment changes everything. The feelings change over time, while new situations in life have a funny way of bringing up the initial loss and grief. Plus, losing a newborn is one thing, 10 years later, it’s a whole childhood you have missed. In 20 years, it’s a life. Death, marriages, new births, search and reunion are all frequent triggers and moms often need additional support, or just someone who understands.

I certainly have found that I was not prepared for what it all entails to be a birthmother, but I did learn some things along the way that might help.