The fact is..there are ENOUGH moms who relinquished who are saying…hey, it didn’t work like that. And enough adoptees say the same thing. Human nature is different than the plan and the beliefs. They were built on faulty principles Not your fault, not mine..lets blame the adoption industry. They have known for some time, they have had the information at hand, and still they kept throwing this pipe dream at us all and selling us all down a river.
Even with all that you see here, all that I DID sign, all that I was told, I still felt that I had no choice. I did this because it was the only thing I could do. And I signed all, I agreed to all, I waived all because I was trying to be the best dern birthmother the agency had ever had. I wanted them to be so proud of me. I wanted acceptance and I knew that by being “strong”, by being determined, I would make them happy. I would prove my worth.
Visit The Adoption Truth Store on Cafe Press Most of these, I created because I WANTED them and there was nothing else like it out there. There are a bunch more things there, as I just updated the store and had a tiny bit too much fun. Well, actually I moved it to a new one since they wouldn’t let me update the old one decently and THEN, I made a bunch…
It was funny..people were very “ohhhh” and “ahhh” over my going to met Max tomorrow. But surprised that I was just going alone to see him?? And they would ask, “who is going with you? Don’t you have support?” and I was like…yeah, I’m here..what else do I need?? I don’t need someone to hold my hand when I do it, though maybe a photographer would be cool, but I want to have the time to process it afterwards and have others be thrilled for me..so what better place than a adoption conference?
I will confess my initial desire was to remove this from the “most popular” front page line up. I don’t want to talk about this really. I don’t want to have to open myself up to be judged and have nasty comments said again, but then, I realized that my desire was out of shame and fear. Mostly shame; not shame that I had this abortion, but that the possible reactions I feared triggered possible shame.
I know that this is one of the reasons we have so many issues, legislative restrictions and lack of viable options when it comes to safe and legal abortion services in this country is because of that shame. Having an abortion is something we still speak of in hushed tones. Oh, granted, no one should be out celebrating and for the most part it is a private matter, so what other folks think about it shouldn’t matter, but even among friends, we whisper. So while, my gut says take this post down, I know I cannot. I owe it to the women who have gone before me who have died in back alleys and fought for our rights to have legal safe abortions and I owe it to the women who will come after me who will still need to have the right to have legal safe abortions if they so need to. I owe it to my daughter to know that we have to stand up and not be afraid to be counted even if others might be mean to us.
So I am at work last night..and our hostess had a great book called “The Choices We Made”. It’s the stories of famous people who had abortions, faced an unplanned pregnancy, etc. We were taking turns reading about Whoopie Goldberg. So this of course, lead to us discussing adoption, and Raisa and I are in the middle of a discussion on how these people who claim “just give the baby…
You know what they say about having expectations? How they are our own worst enemy? I mean, I don’t trust talk show, I know the whole idea of sensationalism, I tried not to go in blind, be prepared, be ready for the worst. I had even stock responses ready if, for whatever reason, things got way off track and personal and I didn’t want to feel obligated to go somewhere…
So good news! Governor Mitt of MA has left office WITHOUT signing the horrible SB2690 into law! It looks dead! With a new administration, they have to redo the bill, find a new sponser etc..so HOPEFULLY..with work, t can be made into a GOOD ill again, where the rights of ALL adoptees, are supported! **** Speaking of Adoptee rights..this Sunday the Adoption Show is all about the NY law! New…
I wish I was like a cat and could purrrrr. I would if I could. I feel very content at this moment in time. Totally deconstructed Christmas we have here. Very mellow, just opening presents, muching on good food. No one really gets out of PJs. The kids, this year, are also rather mellow, just playing away…even rather quietly, amused they are, by the bounty that is Santa. My children…
Saw this bullitan on my space… MTV True Life Presents… I’m Looking for My Birth Parent email us at: adoptee@mtvstaff.com with the details Were you adopted and are now ready to find your birth parent/s? Have you already located your birth parent and are about to meet for the first time? Or has a birth parent recently located you and requested a meeting? If you are interested in sharing your…
Yesterday all the Buzz in adoptinland was about PizzaHut UK’s horrible ad compaign “Adopt a Cheesy Bite”. If you missed all the hoopala, some insensitive wing nut at Weiden and Kennedy thought it would be great based on “With all the comment in the news at the moment about issues surrounding adoption, we thought it was an issue we could tap into. Possibly in questionable taste. Also funny.” Ummm..definatly questionable,…
It’s really funny, but when I meet someone for the first time..and if I don’t really like them at all, like if I think to my self “Oh, I just don’t like her’..it usually turns out that that person becomes one of the people I love most in this world. Maybe I see something so close to who I am , that I relate too much, but it is odd,…
One of the things that has always bothered me greatly is that I have NO paperwork from when I relinquished Max. I kept tons of stuff. I kept everything really. I have my original brochure from the agency, I have my plane ticket, I have the bottle that Max drank from, I have pictures, I have all the letters Laura and Darrin sent me. I have clothes that Max spit…
I am sorry, but I have had to do something that I have made a personal priority never to do..which is moderate my comments and close comment privilages to non members. And let me tell you this REALLY SUCKS! I hate it, I really do. I have never done so from my own “poke at stick” trolls and anonymous hit and run folks. I have never had to do so…
I am recovering from a nasty bout of strep throat. We were all infected. I was sick all weekend. I even called out of work Saturday night, which I would never do. Especially after a lousy week and a freaky friday, but I was not in the position to loose eye contact with my bathroom. Friday night the crazy storm sewept though Rhinebeck with the force of a freight train….