Adoption Questions and Facts

Adoption Questions and Facts March 24, 2016

Frequently Asked Questions About Adoption

Real Adoption Information and Facts on Adoption

They don’t teach the facts about adoption in school. There are no courses in college unless you go into a master level in Social work and even then it is limited. Most people go thought life thinking what they hear about adoption form the media, or even worse, from the adoption industry that supplies the message to the media is true. They would be wrong.

Then, when people find themselves about to enter the word of adoption, they go to the “trusted professionals” . Again, most of these sources have their own agenda for keep “on message” as the professionals make their living form the continuation of the adoption status quo. This goes for both prospective adoptive parents and expectant mothers considering adoption.  Neither have any reason to believe that they are being given a sales pitch.

My agenda is to be able to give you information that you won’t find in other places. Why? So that you can have true information based on facts in order to really understand what adoption is, what it  means, how the adoption industry works and what people really think about adoption

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Adoption Questions and Facts, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment November 11, 2012

Hard Truths; A Birthmother is Abandoning Her Child

Somewhere inside, they are baby who misses their mothers smell and they don’t have the words to describe that feeling. Someone inside they could be a 3 year old who is scared and angry and wishes that you could come and take them away. Someday, they could turn out to be a person who doesn’t care about stuff, but only wants to fit in with people that get them. Or maybe, just maybe, they think that THEY should have been important enough to warrant a better plan on our part. That THEY were worth working harder, pinching pennies, putting off school, fighting the system, arguing with parents, going on social services.

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Does adoption save children form abuse? NO!

Adoption Questions and Facts, Relinquishment November 10, 2012

Does Voluntary Adoption Relinquishment Save Children from Abuse?

Somewhere along the line the connection has been made that young, unwed mothers with unplanned pregnancies are destined to live a life of poverty and drag their children down with them by abusing their children, resenting their existence, and failing to provide an adequate life. The simple answer is given that if more of these women made adoption plans when facing these unplanned pregnancies then we could prevent future involvement by Child Protective Services and keep these children in ideal homes from the get go, removing the need for Foster homes, and prevent the damage created by the initial abuse. It’s a lovely concept, but like so much in adoption, it is seriously flawed and this belief is not based on fact.

Secondary adoption reunion rejection hurts

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Adoption Questions and Facts, Reunions & Support, Searches November 6, 2012

Secondary Adoptee Rejection in Adoption Reunions

No one is trying to find their birthmothers to throw stones or cast blame, yet on that emotional level we have to acknowledge that the adoptee can feel rejected by the act of adoption placement whether voluntary or forced. It doesn’t matter how they can now, as adult, intellectualize the circumstances of their relinquishment, the child inside still knows the pain and that child wants it’s mother. There is an innocence there in this need to reconnect. It is pure feeling.

Why the pain of open adoption is too much for some birthmothers

Adoption Questions and Facts, Birthmother Grief November 5, 2012

When a Birthmother Closes an Open Adoption

Often, the adoptive parents who are writing these stories are genuinely upset and confused. They actually believe in the benefits of open adoption for their children. They want the mothers of their children to have contact with the children they relinquished and to know that the kids are doing well. They don’t understand why the mothers, and sometimes fathers, of their adopted children just disappear.

Choices, even adoption, based on fear, are bad choices

Adoption Questions and Facts, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry October 30, 2012

Can We Understand why Mothers Relinquish Babies to Adoption?

It is only after the true depth of the loss can be accepted that we see that we made a great error in judgment. There is value in the connection between mother and child that cannot be replaced by monetary things and perceived life successes. There is value in being with our own clans and the biological connections that make us who were are. There is great pain and loss in adoption for both the original family and the adoptee no matter how beneficial their placement is. The adoption industry is just that: an industry and it is often corrupt and money driven.

genetic sexual attraction out of the adoption reunion shadows

Adoption Questions and Facts, Reunions & Support October 25, 2012

The Risk of Genetic Sexual Attraction for Adoptees and Birth Parents in Reunions

“Parent and child go through a very complex bonding process from the beginning of life to the first six years,” she said. “They go through phases and in the teen years, they separate. That whole process goes dormant until they reunite as adults. It’s almost like it awakens back the recognition in that the other person is a mirror of yourself.” DeNeen said she felt like she was regressing back to childhood, falling in love and looking to her dad as a hero. “I felt a lot of need for intimacy,” she said. “The lines were so blurry.” But she makes it clear that she never had sexual intercourse with her father, even though the relationship was “very inappropriate.” And like others who experience GSA, she crossed physical boundaries that were “embarrassing, confusing, amazing and overwhelming,”