I can tell you that many moms are just so worried about saying the wrong things that we are still afraid to open up and be real… the internal censor is on big time because we do not know what to do and are SO afraid of being sent away emotionally. Maybe this isn’t the case with her since you say she really reacts intensely, but that openness and honestly is a hard place to get to. I think it hard to trust the new relationship as permanent and get to that place.
What the date tells me above is what I already know. If you are writing about adoption, then the word adoption needs to be used. And if one is writing about issues in adoption that pertain to being a mother who relinquished, then I want those 1/3 a million monthly searches to have a chance of finding things here and that means using the word birthmother. I won’t call you one, but I’m going to write with it.
I really do not care that you think that I am overstepping my boundries. I personally feel that people who are so desperae for a baby that they troll on message boards and try to exploit women in vunerable circumstances to be predatory and unethical. Pre birth contact is considered coersive.
Of course, you would like to adopt her twins. And while I am sure that it sucks for you to be infertile, my sympathy really ends there. Sometimes in life you do not get what you want. I do not have to think of people like you.. my job is to think about moms who CAN be good mothers, who need help facing a crisis prenancy and perhaps just someone to tell them the truth.