Cultural Views on Adoption

Cultural Views on Adoption March 23, 2016

How the Real World Sees Adoptees, Adoptive Parents and Birthmothers

In the adoption community there are tons of conversations about “educating” the general public about adoption. Depending on how you are adoption affected, what you think needs to happen will be very different.

The Adoption Stereotypes; Limiting and Hurtful, also Untrue

Adoptive Parents want people to accept their families built by adoption and complain about the stupid questions people ask like “Where is her real mother?” Adoptees are suppose to be happy and grateful that they were somehow saved from either “ending up in an dumpster” or “from being aborted”. Adoptees are “lucky”.The general public likes to blame the birth mother’s pain on her own irresponsible choices. She is punished for her fertility and the sexual drive that got her pregnant in the first place.

Basically, unless you are actually adoption affected, and even then, only if you have done your own research and homework, most people have no clue about adoption.

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Before Making an Adoption Plan, Cultural Views on Adoption, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, Relinquishment March 24, 2015

The Trauma of Mothers Who Have Lost Children to Adoption

By Mirah Riben In a public hearing before the Assembly Institutions, Health and Welfare Committee on Adoption, December 9, 1981, in Trenton, New Jersey, attorney Harold Cassidy made the following impassioned plea: There is a need for us in society to learn to know the women who have come to call themselves ‘birth-mothers.’ They are women who know that a child is part of his mother forever… They know the…

Not folled, not helpless, not needing protection

A Birthmothers Life, A Father's Right, Adoptee Rights, Cultural Views on Adoption February 13, 2015

Sexism within the OBC Adoption Records Issue

When a man fathers a child and chooses, for whatever reason, to ignore the existence of that child, do we respect his wishes overall and grant him his right to his anonymity? No.. so why do mothers receive this “protection” ? Why are we ONLY concerned with the mothers? If this fear was legitimate, then wouldn’t it be fair and expected to extend that concerned to the father’s as well? Should not all people be protected, then, from long lost relatives that might infringe upon their lives and seek out relationships with them?

So You Have Had a Run in with Those Anti-Adoption People

Community, Cultural Views on Adoption February 9, 2015

So You Have Had a Run in with Those Anti-Adoption People

The simple fact is that these “negative” feelings about adoption DO exist and are VERY REAL. And while I understand that society and the media and the adoption professionals have not prepared you for this, if you are choosing to enter into the world of adoption, you actually don’t get to pick and choose a version of reality that you like best. Again, you can choose not to listen and hear them, but it’s all still here. We are not making this stuff up.

Costs of Adoption, Cultural Views on Adoption, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers February 3, 2015

Living With Adoption’s Dichotomies and Myths

By Mirah Riben “ “Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE Imagine sharing your feelings of missing your deceased father (or brother) and hearing: “Be glad you still have your mother (or sister)” as if your loved ones are interchangeable. Such a response would be off target, dismissive, and…

When hopeful adoptive parents go wrong

Community, Cultural Views on Adoption February 2, 2015

 Yes, I Will Call HAPS out when Trolling for Babies

Personally, I think this whole “people have a right to build a family any way they feel comfortable with” ideal is just seriously messed up. Yes, we DO have a right, as a society, or judge others and say “Hey, this is not cool. ” I mean isn’t that how civilization decides on things? Isn’t that how we put it in place that we are not allowed to kill each other? Isn’t that how slavery was ended? Isn’t that how laws that prevent things like their and beatings and rape and abuse happen? Isn’t that how we are supposed to things like stop bullying? We are supposed to say something? Educate? Stand up and be heard? There are certain practices that happen in adoption, that are considered acceptable by the industry that are NOT acceptable and are deemed hurtful by the community who is tired of being preyed upon. What are we supposed to do? Sit back and say nothing because others might be upset? Sorry, that just not in my DNA.