By Mirah Riben “ “Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE Imagine sharing your feelings of missing your deceased father (or brother) and hearing: “Be glad you still have your mother (or sister)” as if your loved ones are interchangeable. Such a response would be off target, dismissive, and…
Personally, I think this whole “people have a right to build a family any way they feel comfortable with” ideal is just seriously messed up. Yes, we DO have a right, as a society, or judge others and say “Hey, this is not cool. ” I mean isn’t that how civilization decides on things? Isn’t that how we put it in place that we are not allowed to kill each other? Isn’t that how slavery was ended? Isn’t that how laws that prevent things like their and beatings and rape and abuse happen? Isn’t that how we are supposed to things like stop bullying? We are supposed to say something? Educate? Stand up and be heard? There are certain practices that happen in adoption, that are considered acceptable by the industry that are NOT acceptable and are deemed hurtful by the community who is tired of being preyed upon. What are we supposed to do? Sit back and say nothing because others might be upset? Sorry, that just not in my DNA.
So what I read is a educated therapist adoption professional who SHOULD have access to all the known research of birthmother grief and is seemingly choosing to ignore it instead repeating the propaganda laden ideals of how we WANT adoption to be. The studies clearly state that our grief intensifies over time. There is no peace. A birthmother’s grief is continuous, disenfranchised and complicated. An “article” like this only serves to lead both adoptive parents and any birthmothers up to fail. This supposed two year window sets a stage where people are going to expect that grief will lessen after two years which is a direct contradiction of the research. Now granted there is limited research on birthmother grief, but that gives even more reasoning to expect that Ms. Mantell should be familiar with the facts she speaks of.
By Cassi Did you know my family is crazy? We’re dysfunctional. We make huge mistakes. We can be irritating and annoying. And we are so far from perfect or anything close to it. And yet, as one who was literally saved from becoming yet another “unplanned pregnancy” lost to adoption, I am so thankful for my family, all the good AND all the bad. We had another big family wedding…
By Cassi There is a story I could write today. One that will never go away. Will always break my heart a little bit more when I think of it. But after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to give this first year a moment of peace, for an innocent little girl and her natural family who lost so much more than anyone ever deserves. I can’t, though, let this…
It’s obvious that American Adoptions under Scott Mars’ routine of smoke and mirrors, doesn’t take transparency and true accountability very seriously. And while perhaps Scott Mars did start his American Adoption empire with some nice misplaced foggy adoptee loyalty in the beginning, at this point and seeing all these internet marketing shenanigans, he is in so darn deep there is no way he is spared from the culpability and corruption. on the Adoption by Gentle Care and Camden case.
I knew that American Adoptions and Adoption by Gentle Care had a connection. I had, however, erroneously though that American Adoptions had come in and helped out Adoption by Gentle Care financially AFTER the whole Grayson Vaughn episode. While I had thought that the bigger national American Adoptions agency had been asked to step in and help the poor struggling Adoption by Gentle Care after the last legal fight, it’s actually the opposite that happened. American Adoptions was pretty tight in with A Adoption by Gentle Care BEFORE and DURING the Grayson Vaughn situation and it was AFTER the ruling, that American Adoptions looked to pull back and disassociate themselves publicly from AGC!
We have given them multiple outs practically on silver platter and they keep on hurting themselves and then try to blame others for their actions. Really, it’s simply a matter of choice and consequences. They choose to keep on doing the wrong thing and then the consequence of that choice is that people are critical. If you want people to stop thinking bad things about you, then perhaps a novel idea would be to STOP doing the very thing that you are being criticized for. How many times to I have to spell it out: Just give Camden back!
The Bill Hurts EVERYONE, but the Adoption Industry!
And yes, this bill is sneaky. The Father’s Rights groups in Ohio had NO idea this was happening. No other stakeholders have been asked. This bill is somehow being pushed through on behalf of the adoption industry as it benefits THEM.
Yeah it might be hard sometimes.. for all the parents involved.. adoptive and birth parents…but the role I have taken for #FliptheScript is to just Re-post, re-tweet, re-share, but not redirect. I always remember, it’s not about me. It’s about the adoptee as it always should be. I’m just a parent doing the best I can to support the rights of my child…even though the voices of others.
if you give a flying fig about the rights of natural parents and do not want carte blanche to be given to the already troublesome practices of Ohio’s adoption agencies, then Please.. ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIVE IN OHIO go find an Ohio senator or representative and tell then so! BOTH bills are BAD news! And while you are there and got their ear, mention that Baby Camden still is NOT home!
We get to the place where Adoption by Gentle Care is whining to the court to shut off the internet based on a concocted story peppered with false statements and more mistruths. So you are lying to prevent others from knowing that you are lying? Their logic, or lack of, just kills me. If they just stopped being “butts” as my kids would say, then I wouldn’t have to take about them being such butts.
I personally am rather tired of having to explain to people that Carri and Camden’s case is not an isolated incident, but rather only part and partial of a long history of poor choices made by a greedy and unethical agency who has made it their business model to use, and abuse or ignore when it suits them, the current Ohio adoption laws to their personal advantage. If we are not so easily able to dismiss “just that one experience,” then I think it is clear that for Adoption by Gentle Care, this is not their first unethical rodeo by any means. This is how they do the business of adoption.
The Pound Pup Legacy Annual Demons of Adoption Award
Upon a successful 2nd nomination and upon election within the Adoption community for rightfully pointed out the wrongdoings and condemned the practices Pound Pup Legacy hereby thus denounces the dubious honor of receiving the Eighth Annual Demons of Adoption Award in 2014 to:
Adoption by Gentle Care of Columbus, Ohio
Who shall now receive the most critical recognition in Adoption including the scorn, disgust, and public flogging pertaining hereto this most infamous recognition in the city of AdoptionLand, in the state of the Internet, on this tenth day of November in the year two thousand and fourteen.
You want to decrease abortions in Ohio, Mike Gonidakis? Good, then stop wasting your time being a mouth piece for the adoption industry and get behind bills that support a mother parenting her own child. Let’s help her have access to things like birth control so she can make choices proactively, or day care so she can support her children, or educational recourse so she can better herself. But stay out of the adoption debate, please. You have no idea what you are talking about when it comes to the reality of how these laws are used in an adoption in Ohio.