I made a point to watch ABC’s Find My Family tonight I normally avoid adoption related shows because I don’t do well with them in general. I yell at the TV and get all worked up. I know it makes Rye nervous. Birthmothers and Adoption TV=Not Fun As a birthmother, I find it is like walking through a land mine; carefully place the my foot down on the next step,…
I don’t know why, but the responses to my last post about my dreading with November was overwhelming to me. It wasn’t that people responded with kindness; I actually expect the innate goodness and compassion of most. It wasn’t that my feelings obviously resonate to what other moms feel during the birthday months of our relinquished children either. It was more like I was so struck at how very similar…
I’m late to the Adoption Carnival Party today, but I’m still going to play: This month’s Grown in my Heart Adoption Carnival is: Carnival III: Photos of Adoption. What is your most treasured adoption photo (or two)? Block out faces if you have to, find a scanner, or simply tell us about it if you can’t post it. We do understand that. For me, my most tresured Adoption Photos is…
There are times when it seems that all things in the universe come together in the most magical ways. I can count those moments like that that I have had the joy of experiencing on my two hands; they are so fleeting and rare, yet impossible to miss. This Tuesday night, in the void of great loss and sorrow; I had the honor of taking part in one of these…
I knew I would have to write about Where the Wild Things Are. How could I not? From the earliest hummings of a this Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Thing Are movie coming to fruition, every ounce of my soul has rejected the reality that I now face. I haven’t wanted to hear about this movie. I haven’t wanted to think about it. I haven’t wanted to face it. I…
Recently, I added some Really Bright Red Highlights to my Hair Now if you have ever been a phony red head like me, then you might be able to relate to what I am about to say, if not, then you’ll have to take my word on it: Being a Red Head is like having Anorexia of the Hair. Now, I don’t mean that in a way to mock people…
Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble
Alas, it seems I am worthy of medical care. Armed with the shiny plastic insurance card, I am treated like someone worth fixing and so… My surgery to fix my broken arm has been set for August 18th. I’m trying to remain calm and matter of fact about it, but I can tell you that I am not looking forward to it one bit. The surgeon, while very nice, made…
This is hard. I hate it, but I’m coming clean. I hate that I am feel seen as some kind of super strong birthmother because I am suppose to be immune to this sort of thing in my head. Guess what..I’m human. I’m not perfect. In fact, I am probably just as messed up as everyone of us. I just hide it well. Periodically, people ask me how my reunion…
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1“ As an unmet, joyful and excited couple marveled and cooed over my precious baby, now theirs.. I was then packing all my meager belongings, waiting for my mother, sad goodbyes, uncomfortable silence, more feelings of shame. As they fussed over the first diapers changed, and made happy phone calls, I was on the cold drive back..5 hours due to…
I made my “debut” on the the multi author adoption blog: “Finding the Road to Truth: how I came to be the Birthmther that I am” And then, there was another one! Birtmother Commentary: on and off-line
Maybe it was because I spent almost two hours on last Tuesday evening talking to a reporter about how my seemingly very progressive agency was using acceptable, but subtly coercive tactics to point me only relinquishment, and it weakened my inner stone wall. Maybe it is because it’s almost Mother’s Day as well and between having lost my own mother many years ago, plus being a mother who lost one…
There was a good article shared by Dawn on Facebook form the Boston Globe: Can a mother get a break? Essays wonder why women are so hard on each other. The whole pretense is something I have been wondering about and have pondered for some time, of course, in pretense of being a birthmother and how society decrees who deserves to be a mother.
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1 To tell him that I was having his child and giving it up for adopton, giving him no choice on the matter, because the timing was too late was unfair. I actually wrote that ignorance was bliss. I suppose it is, in a way. He knows nothing of all that was felt. In his memory, if I am in…
….that I do. Sometimes it only might make sense to me, but eh, I’m usually pretty open, so I explain. I have offered and was accepted most openly to write for an multi author adoption blog. How can I say this most PC like.. it’s a bit more happy adoption then one might expect me to want to write for…but.. as I defended my reasoning to actively particiapte on Adoption.com…