Finding Adoption Support Groups Online and In Real Life
Adoption is so very isolating. We can often exist in a vacuum and no way of knowing if what we feel is normal, or right” or even to be expected. Meanwhile, everyone on the street is somehow an expert on adoption and their views just don’t jive with what you have going on during any given normal day.
Then there are these major life altering events that happen within the context of adoption”. We are separated from our families, we search for lost family members, we meet strangers that are family. There is no roadmap, no guidebook and half of the “professional” advice out there is total crap. The best “experts’ on adoption related issues are the people who live with it every day. No one can do this alone, we need each other.
I went for the first 14 years of my son’s adoption without ever knowingly meeting another women who had also relinquished a child and could understand the feelings. The first time I was in a room talking with another birth mother, I was moved to tears. It’s that powerful.
“The only silver lining to this whole adoption thing, has been the people I have gotten to meet along the way.”
I’m quoting myself because I can’t think of more fitting words. No matter who you are in the “adoption triad” and what stage of your “adoption journey” you are on, it’s so much better to walk this path with others who understand. The validation and acknowledgment that we receive from our peers in adoption is often life saving and what can keep us ground, sane.
Specific Areas relating to Adoption Issues found on Musings of the Lame
- Birth Mother and issues relating
- Natural Father Support
- Resource for Those Pregnant
- SOS: Real Help for Mothers Threatened by Adoption Relinquishment
- Adoption Search Support
- Adoption Reunion Support
Online Adoption Support Groups
There can be no doubt that computers and the internet have provided a wonderful array of new tools at the hands of the adoption community. It has been the one thing, I believe, that allows people to find ways to come together and bridge that isolating affect. To read another’s words and have them echo in your soul is minimally validating and sometimes a true lifeline. To just be able to know that others understand your feelings and won’t judge can be vital.
Off Site Online Support
There are groups and forums specifically for adoption.
- For moms who need emotional support and understanding, then Sunflowers Birthmother Support is a good group.
- CUB, Concerned United Birthparents, offers a members only online adoption support area.
- Adoption Threads is an Mixed Group Adoption Forum
- For Adoptees, I suggest Adult Adoptees You will be in no better hands then with some of my favorite bastards.
- For our UK friends: After Adoption
Also it would be amiss to ignore the vast berth of wisdom and knowledge that has come from the many, many adoption blogs. Great post and great discussions can be found on Adoption blogs.
Facebook: Open Groups, Closed Groups and Adoption Discussion Pages
I do think that due to the nature of our culture and the rise of social media, the most active online groups online will be found via Facebook. It seems to be where folks choose to put most of their energy. There are a whole slew of adopting groups and pages on Facebook. I am sure that this list is just a tip of the iceberg, but it’s a good place to start. The groups are roughly grouped depending on their main focus, but there seems to be something for everyone there!
Please take note, there are always new pages and groups in the comments. I really need to update this list!
Get the Full List of Adoption Support Groups on Facebook
Find Support at Adoption Events
Get out and mingle with our kind. It’s one of the most liberating things in the world to be among others with whom you can talk adoption and not have to edit or explain. Plus it’s really usually a whole lot of fun! You get to meet people you know online, you get to see old friends.
Find a local Adoption Event or promote your own adoption happening.
In Person Support Groups Across the USA
The majority of information on this list has been culled from the list curated by the American Adoption Congress, I simplified some of the formatting and made a few additions. While the CUB Adoption Supports are listed in the table, you can go directly to their website as well.
STATE GROUP WEBSITE LOCATION WHEN CONTACT PHONE EMAIL
Alabama
Birth Parents/Adult Adoptees Group Birmingham, AL Audrey Derevenko, LCSW 205-943-5343 adereven@childrensaid.org
Arizona
Tucson Adoption Reunion Search & Support Tucson, AZ 1st Thursday; 68 pm Jude Guilford, 520-400-8304 520-400-8304 gogilgoes@yahoo.com
Arizona Adoption Circle Phoenix, AZ 2nd Wednesday; 7-9 pm Susan Bennett 480-227-3327
Arkansas NONE
California
Cameron Park Triad 2nd Tuesday;6:30-8 pm Rachel 530-558-5336 cameronparktriad@pacer-adoption.org
Beth 530-677-5658
Oakland Adoptee 4th Monday; 7:45-9:45 pm Malcolm 510-336-9284 ebayadoptee@pacer-adoption.org
Mark 510-0207-0142
Triple Hearts Adoption Triangle Riverside, CA Gwyn Dixon 951-684-4099 Gwyn_d_2000@yahoo.com
Bay Area Birthmother's Association San Francisco, CA Sheila Ganz 415-564-3691 Sganz1@hotmail.com
Sacramento Triad Santa Monica, CA Last Tuesday; 6:30-8:30 pm Linda 916-359-6777, sactriad@pacer-adoption.org
Edie 916-653-8347
Diane 916-442-1812
Marlou Russell, Ph.D. 310-829-1438 marlourussell@hotmail.com
Sebastopol Triad 1st Wednesday; 7-9 pm Jerilynn 707-823-7840 sonomatriad@pacer-adoption.org
East Bay Birthmothers Orinda, CA 3rd Tuesday; 7:30-9:30 pm Kathy 925/528-9191 ebaybirthmom@pacer-adoption.org
Oakland, CA Ronda Slater 510-843-3530
Full Circle Support Group Orange County, CA Delayn Curtis, 714-994-1440
Open Path: Support Group for Waiting Parents San Francisco, CA 415-788-6772
Search-Finders of California (search and support) San Jose, CA 2nd Thursday, 7:00 p.m. 408-356-6711 searchfinders@earthlink.net
OC Adoptees Orange County, CA C/O Dan Sandifer
Southern LA County OC Adoptees Fullerton, CA First Month Each Month 562-646-7779
Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) La Mirada, CA 4th Saturday; 1pm Contact Mimi Janes for address
Colorado
Adoptees in Search Montview Presbyterian Church 1980 Dahlia St Denver, CO 4th Tuesday;7:30 pm 303-232-6302
Emotional Support Group Adoptees in Search Montview Presbyterian Church 1980 Dahlia St Denver, CO 2nd Wednesday 7:00pm Kathy Mackechney, 303-960-6964
CUB Support Group Lutheran Medical Center 8300 West 38th Ave., 2nd Floor Coffee Shop Conference Rm (CSCR) Wheat Ridge, CO 3rd Sunday; 1:30 3:30 pm For directions/info call CUB Info Line 303-263-1860
Connecticut
Adoption Healing Milford, CT Jane Servadio, 203-874-2023
Adoption Healing Support Group Brown Program Center 2nd floor Universalist Church, 433 Fern St. West Hartford 3rd Thursday every month - 7:00pm MJConklin@aol.com orATPallone@aol.com
Delaware NONE
District of Columbia
(DC Metro CUB) Concerned United Birthparents Chevy Chase, MD Linda Clausen, 202-966-1640 dcmetrocub@aol.com
Adoptee-Birthparent Support Network (ABSN) Maryland, Virginia & Washington, DC Volunteer Search / Support Group
Florida
Circle of Hope, Greenacres, FL Sondi Hill, 561-967-7079
FL TRIAD Post Adoption Support Group (For: Adult Adoptees, Birth Parents & Adoptive Parents) (near West Palm Beach)
Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) Adoptee & BP Support Group Lakeland, FL 4 th Saturday, 12:00 Noon Patty Collings, 863-299-0767
Georgia
Hand in Hand Lawrenceville, GA 3rd Friday Denise Carroll, 678 371-7247
Adoption Triad Connection Atlanta, GA 1 st Tuesday;6:30-8:30 pm Leslie Pate Mackinnon, 404-603-5335
GA Adoption Reunion Registry Atlanta, GA 2 nd Tuesday Peggy Rothschild, 404-657-3560
Hawaii
Adoption Circle of Hawaii Honolulu, HI Jan, 808 989-7071 info@kahawaii
The Korean Adoptees of Hawaii (KAHI) Honolulu, HI
Idaho
Search-Finders of Idaho (search and support) Boise, ID 1 st Thursday 7:00 pm Lois Wight, 208-375-9803
Illinois
For Birthmothers By Birthmothers Chicago, IL Jessie Williams, 312-505-0473
Healing Hearts Bloomington, IL Marilyn Strohkirch, 309-820-0230
Adoptees, BP & AP Together Wheaton/Naperville 3rd Thursday Jody Moran, 630-778-0636
Indiana
Online support group for adoptees Sherrie Eldridge 317-849-5651 All-adoptee@yahoogroups.com
Adoption Triangle St. Mark's United Methodist Church Rm12 4th Thursday, 7:00 PM Pam Kroskie 812-876-9004 gus4809@yahoo.com
Bloomington, IN
Iowa NONE
Kansas
Adoption Concerns Triangle Topeka, KS 3rd Tuesday, 7:00 PM Marilyn Waugh 785-235-6122
Catholic Social Services Great Bend, KS 620-792-1393 slytle@cpcis.net
Adoption Triad Support Network KC Overland Park, KS 3rd Thursday; 7-9:00 PM Carolyn Pooler 816-505-0328 gapmother@aol.com
Stigma, Inc. (Support for those conceived by rape or incest) Bonner Springs, KS 913-441-0372 stigma@kc.rr.com
Kentucky
Southland Christian Church Adoptive Families Support Group Lexington, KY 859-224-1619 tvascassenno@adelphia.net
KY Transracial Adoption Support Group Ktag_leaders@yahoo.com
Louisiana
Independent Searcher/Advisor Kenner, LA Linda Woods 504-443-1012 linrwoods@aol.com
New Orleans Chapter Metaire, LA 3rd Tuesday; 7pm Christy Little, 504-737-5439 ckl03@cox.net
Adoptees Birthrights Committee (ABC) Baton Rouge Chapter http://www.adopteesbirthrightscommittee.com/ 3rd Wednesday; 7pm Delia Pressler 225-752-3162
Maine
OBC for ME Triad Support Portland, ME Cathy Robishaw 207-781-6089 cmrcmr@myfairpoint.net
ASCME South Portland, ME Peter Jensen 207-799-3574 pjen@maine.rr.com
Maryland
Concerned United Birthparents (CUB) Chevy Chase, MD Linda Clausen 202-966-1640 dcmetrocub@aol.com
Social Services Admin Adoption Search, Contact and Reunion Baltimore, MD Department of Human Resources 1-800-381-3678
The Barker Foundation Bethesda, MD 3rd Thursday; 7-9:00 pm Abbe Levine 301-554-9664 alevine@barkerfoundation.org
Adoptiee-Birthparnet Support Network (ABSN) Maryland, Virginia & Washington, DC Volunteer Search/Support Group
Massachusetts
Adoption Connection Peabody, MA Susan Darke 978-532-1261 sudarke@aol.com
Adoption Community of New England Wesborogh, MA 503-366-6812
Adoptive Families Together / MSPCC Boston, MA 617-587-1563
Faith Evangelical Free Church Acton 54 Hosmer St. 3rd Wednesday; 7:30-9 pm Kristy Bouley & Deborah Henderlong
Braintree Thayer Public Library; 798 Washington St 2nd Wednesday; 7-8:45 pm Jeanne Hardy, Sarah Marcella and Linda Perry
Brookline Brookline Public Library 361 Washington St 2nd Fl. Brookline, MA 4th Monday; 7-8:30 pm Matt Paluszek & Tracy Grondin
Jamaica Plain MSPCC Office @ 157 Green St 1st Friday 7-9pm Randi Schalet & Lori Baeumler
Roslindale Roslindale Congregational Church; 25 Cummins Highway 3rd Wednesday; 7-8:30 pm Michelle Novell & Clare O'Donoghue
Swampscott First Church @ 40 Monument Ave 1st Thursday; 7-8:30 pm Kimberly Ryan & Sandi Santanello
Worcester MSPCC Office @ 335 Chandler St 3rd Thursday; 7-9pm Deb Tambeau & Donna Warren
CUB Boston Area ( Sept - May) Plymoth Church ; 87 Edgell Rd 3rd Sunday; 2-5 pm Kathy Aghajanian Coordinator 508-473-4066 Kaghajanian@live.com
Michigan
Adopition Identity Movement of MI (AIM) Tina Caudill
Bonding by Blood Vassar, MI Mary Louise Foess, 989-823-4013 mlfoess@gmail.com
Adption Identity Movement (AIM) of Grand Rapids 5767 Leisure South Dr, Kentwood, MI 1st & 3rd Wednesday; 6:30:00 pm Peg Richer 616 531-1380
Catholic Social Services Ann Arbor, MI 1st Wednesday; 6:30 PM Elly Falit 734-971-9781
Makeing Peace with the Past Clinton-Macomb Public Library 2nd Wednesday; 7pm
Truths in the Adoption Triad Lunch on Sundays Marilyn Phillips Jackson 989 977-0025
Minnesota
CUB-Concerned United Birthparents (birthparents, adoptees and adoptive parents welcome) St. Louis Park Recreational Center, Community Room 1st Wednesday; 7pm Sandy Sperazza 952-924-2540
Montevideo Adult Adoptee Support Group Montevideo Public Library Monthly Carleen Helgeson 320-226-5793
First Nations Rpatriation Institute All Nations Indian Church 1st Thursday; 6-9pm Sandra White Hawk 651-442-4872
Duluth Adoptee Support Group (adults) Pilgrim Congregational Church 1st Wednesday; 7pm Michele Benson 218-525-3678
Adopted and Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora (AFAAD MN) Rotates among member's homes and community locations Monthly alternating between Saturday evenings and weekdays Michelle Johnson 651-341-9636
MN ADOPT High School Adoption Group (adoptees) https://www.mnadopt.org/ Minnetonka High School, Hwy 7 Rotating Class periods Penelope Needham
MN ADOPT Middle School Adoption Group (adpoptees) https://www.mnadopt.org/ Minetonka Middle School, Minnetonka,MN Rotating Class Periods Penelope Needham
Adult Adoptees of Central Minnesota St. Cloud Public Library, Array Room, 405 Germain St. West, St. Cloud Contact for updated information Nikki Knisley
Reuniting Mnnesota EMAIL SUPPORT GROUP reunitingminnesota@yahoo.com
Adoptees MN (adults) 777 Raymond Ave St. Paul, MN 55114 2nd Saturday; 9:15 - 11am Carrie - 651-457-2252
Penny - 612-616-3139 adopteesmn@gmail.com
Mississippi NONE
Missouri
Adoption Triad Support Network KC http://adoptiontriadsupportnetworkkc.com/ Liberty, MO 1st Thursday; 7-9:00pm Carolyn Pooler 816-505-0328 gapmother@aol.com
Adoption Triad Support Network KC Independence, MO 2nd Thursday; 7-9:00 PM
Adoption Triad Support Network Judy Bock atcmidmo@socket.net
Adoption Triad of the Ozarks Springfield, MO Sharon Fieker 417-840-8492 sfieker@ichoosethisday.org
Montana
Adoption Constellation Support Group Misssoula, MT Beth Jaffee 406-880-3052
Nebraska
La Vista, NE Linda Willson 402-537-4387 cyrillawillson@aol.com
Omaha, NE Sandy Rolles 402-397-6394 sandyrolls@cox.net
Adoption Triad Midwest Omaha, NE Elaine Holdren 402-334-9159 monecho@aol.com
Adoption Circle Grand Island, NE Sheri Jelinek 308-381-0347 sjelinek@kdsi.net
Adoption Circle Nebraska Childrens Home Society, Lincoln, NE Betty Wilson 402-483-7879 bwilson@nchs.org
Adoption Circle Omaha Nebraska CHS Kathy Hoyt or Becky Crofoot 402-451-0787
Catholic Charities Sue Malloy or Wendy Spetman 402-554-0520
Nevada NONE
New Hampshire
American Adoption Congress Nashua, NH Paul Schibbelhute, 603-880-7790 pschibbe@aol.com
Birthmothers of New Hampshire http://www.birthmothersofnh.com/ Wentworth Douglas Hospital Dover, NH Mondays; 5-7pm Tracy Pond 603-988-2233
New Jersey
Morristown Post-Adoption Support Group 1st Saturday; 1-5pm Ginny Bayard, 973-884-0120 Ginny_bay@yahoo.com
Judy Foster 973-455-1268 Jfoster7@optonline.net
Pat Fox, 973-998-0967 Patfox1@aol.com
Jane Nast, 973-267-8698 janenast@aol.com
Birth Parent Support Group Childrens Aid and Family Services, Ridgewood, NJ Shea Campbell, 201-226-0300, ext. 301 scampbell@cafsnj.org
Adoptee/Birth Parent Support Group Of Central NJ Hillsborourgh, NJ Randie Zimmerman 609-510-7504
CHATS Triad Support Group North Plainfield, NJ JoAnn Hoppe 908-561-9654 chatsnj@comcast.net
Concerned Persons for Adoption Whippany, NJ Pat Bennett 908-273-5694 Paben48@comcast.net
Full Circle Triad Post-Adoption Support Group of No. Jersey Paramus, NJ Cindi Addesso 973-427-4521
NJ Adoption Resource Clearing House (NJARCH) http://www.njarch.org/ 877-427-2465 warmline@njarch.org
Spanish: lalineacalurosa@njarch.org
Pamela Slaton http://www.pamelaobr.com/ Lumberton, NJ (one-on-one support;NY expertise) 609-702-7535 pamelaobr@aol.com
New Mexico
Operation Identity Albuqerque. NM 4th Thursday; 7-9 pm Connie Martin 505-281-7227 crmarti@swcp.com
Adoption Support Group of Santa Fe http://www.asgsf.org/ Santa Fe, NM 1st Monday; 6 pm Randa Phillips 505-466-3839
New York
Adoption Group in the Village NYC New York, NY First Sunday, 2-4pm Susan McQuirk, 646-303-8343
Carol Schaefer, 917 743-4118
Adoption Crossroads http://www.adoptionhealing.com/ NYC and Congers, NY Joe Soll 845-268-0283
Manhattan Birth Parents Group New York, NY 3rd Thursday, 7:00-9:00 p.m. Tony Dupree 212-544-7487
Genesee Valley Monthly Search Group Rochester NY 1st Wednesday 7p.m. - 9p.m. Jeff Hancock
North Carolina
Adoption Triad Dialogue Support Group Greensboro, NC 2nd Tuesday; 7-8:30pm Francie Portnoy fportnoy@bellsouth.net
North Dakota
Lutheran Social Services of ND Fargo, ND 701-235-7341
Ohio
Adoption Network Cleveland http://www.adoptionnetwork.org/ Cleveland, OH Linda Bellini, Direct Line - 216 482-2323
Office number - 216 325-1000
Ohio Birth Parent Discussion Group Columbus, OH 3rd Sunday Kate Livingston 614-668-7390 ohiobirthparents@gmail.com
Ohio Birth Parent Group (Cincinnati Branch) Cincinnati, OH 3rd Saturday Kate Livingston 614-668-7390 ohiobirthparents@gmail.com
Oklahoma
OK Post-Adoption Support Tulsa, OK First Saturday; 2pm Samantha Franklin 918-697-2002 Sfranklin568@yahoo.com
Oregon
Adoption Mosaic Portland, OR 1st & 3rd Tuesday;6:15-8pm Nina Yates 503-752-9982
CUB Portland, OR Coco Brush 503-477-9974 cocobrush@yahoo.com
Pennsylvania
Adoption Education & Family Counseling Doylestown, PA Robert Allen Hafetz 267-337-4548
PA Adoption Connection Canonsburg, PA (email support only) Sherel Kissell 724-743-1992
PA Adoption Connection Fort Hill, PA (Online Support Only) Glenda Shay 814-395-3938
Rhode Island
RI Adoptee Resource Group http://riadopteeresourcegro.wix.com/riarg Cranston, RI 3rd Thursday of every month John Greene
South Carolina
Adoption Search for Life Anderson, SC Cynthia Walters 864-287-4328
South Dakota
Parents of Adopted Children Parkston, SD 605-928-3955
DSS Child Protection Services Sioux Falls, SD Family Support Online 605-335-2776
Lutheran Social Services of South Dakota Diane Pillar SW 1-888-201-5061 x2413
Dede Mogck SW 1-888-201-5061 x 2351
Parents of Adopted Children Twin Brooks, SD 605-432-7887; 605-782-0782
SD Support, Education & Adoption Legislation Lynne Banks 605-759-8478
Tennessee
Adoption Support and Preservation (support for adoptive families) 1-888-848-2727
Birthparent Support Group c/o Miriams Promise, Nashville, TN 2nd Tuesday;6-8pm 615-292-3500 annebyrnf@miriamspromise.org
Texas
DFW Triad Support Group Dallas, TX 2nd Saturday; 1pm Carol DeMuth 972-414-3639 dfwtriad@yahoo.com
Tapestry Birthmother Support Group Irving Bible Church, 2435 Kinwest Parkway - Irving, TX 1st Tuesday, 7pm Carolyn Halliburton, 972-315-9628 tapestry@irvingbible.org
Associated Catholic Charities Houston, TX Lillian Salinas 713-526-4611
Roots and Missing Links Coppell, TX Glenda Allen, 972-471-0744 / 214-282-3809 glendalpi@aol.com
Adoption Knowledge Affiliates Westover Hills Church, 8332 Mesa, Austin, TX 3rd Monday;7pm aka@adoptionknowledge.org
Utah
Birthmother/Adoptee Support Group Salt Lake City, UT Donnie Davis 801-583-6664 Pdj27@aol.com
Vermont NONE
Virginia
Metro Reunion Registry http://metroreunionregistry.org/ Alexandria, VA (an international registry) Metro.reunionregistry@verizon.net
Adoptee-Birth Parent Support Network http://adopteebirthparentsupportnetwork.org/ Alexandria, VA (For Maryland, Virginia & Washington, DC) (For Maryland, Virginia & Washington, DC) 301-442-9106 ABSNmail@verizon.net
Coordinators2inc Richmond, VA 3rd Tuesday, 6:3pm Rebecca Ricardo 804-354-1881
Washington
WA Adoption Reunion Movement (WARM) http://warmsearch.org/ Seattle, WA 1st Wednesday, 7:00 p.m. 206-767-9510
Puyallup, WA 3rd Tuesday, 7:00 p.m.
A Loving Journey Federal Way, WA Treina Stauffer 253-874-1546 alovingjourney@aol.com
Scattered Roots Olympia, WA Jodi McBride, 360-357-6681
SW Washington Adoption Support Vancouver, WA 1st Wednesday Darlene Wilson 360-256-8795 wasearcher@msn.com
Three Roots Triad Group Seattle, WA 2nd Wednesday, 7pm Rachel Stumme 206-371-7573
West Virginia NONE