It’s kind of funny, considering that it is me, but I have been volunteering all over the place for Tristan’s and Scarlett’s school. The last week has been all about the PTA Holiday Gift Shoppe…
Yup, running the holiday gift shoppe.
Yup, the PTA.
But, it’s been fun and I can do it one handed. And it’s good for all these kids, it’s good for the school, and people really are digging our “Re-use, re-cycle, Green Giving Tree Shoppe”. It’s like working a huge tag sale for kids..so I am in my element.
Laugh if you need to.
It’s not the point anyway.
Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant at 16!
Yesterday, hanging out with the other PTA mom holiday shoppe helpers, we got the news that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant at 16. We all know this by now. The media went crazy! One of the moms got a call from her husband with the story and it was spread like wild fire. In fact I ended up hearing it all day.. at home from Rye, later at the Dartball Xmass party.
It was definatly news… her getting kicked off her Zoey 101 show, being the trainwreck called Britney’s sister, Britt being knocked up again after losing custody of her two boys, and the crowing association.. Brit and Jamie’s proud momma is writing a book on parenting. Go ahead, have that chuckle.
You know you want to. I want to say mean things about them. I want to make crude cracks about trailer parks and white trash.
And you know, I have to admit that I stuggled with my reaction. It would have been really easy to give in to judgement and freign a disgusted horror upon hearing of her upcoming motherhood… that was my first instintual reaction. The meaness, the disgust, to look down on her, on them both, that they are not worthy of this life they lead.
And then I felt real disgusted horror that I could think that way. Because it is so very judgemental. And while yes, Brittney herself I do observe with pity and sadness, yet that bizzarr trainwreck feeling.. you don’t really want to watch, yet you cannot turn away. Obviously there is something very wrong with that poor woman. She must be hurting so much to be acting out in such a way though even that deep sufferning cannot justify or rationalize her behaviors as acceptable.
But is that Jamie Lynn’s guilt too?
Yeah, it kind of messes with her role model via Disney or Nicolodeon status, but she’d be growing out of that soon enough anyway. And while she is 16, age is not an absolute determining factor regarding the quailty of motherhood. I have to belive that all the time.. with Hollywood kid celerbities and mothers targeted by adoption agencies… all inclusive. I can’t just belive it true when it fits my agenda. I dispise hypocritical actions, so since I have said it before, I must apply it now.
Interestingly enough, according to this pole most people claim not to be very shocked by this pregnancy news of JLs.
Must Stop Judging the Unplanned Pregnancy
If I am going to fight the industry that exploits these very attitudes that rise up instintually, then I have to first win that war within myself. And so yes, after I sheepishly cracked that one mean joke about trailer trash, I open my yawn and publically stood up in support of Jamie Lynn Spears upcoming teen motherhood….at a fundraiser for my kids school PTA..thank goodness it’s not a snobby pretentious bunch! Coz I got to practice what I preach…walk the walk as well as talk the talk.. or I call Bullshit on myself!
And we should be questioning the way we think about theses young women, these two sisters, these icons of our daughters. Beyond that perverse weird satisfaction that tempts us to delve into the supermarket tabloid, or TalkSoup, we need not worry too much about whether we accually approve or disappriove of what this familiy does, after all, the lowly opninion of you or me shall not alter thier reality or even cause the likes of them a momemnt wasted in passing thought. In otherwords, it matters not to Brit or JL really, I believe. They don’t give a damn, caught up in their own affairs. But in the big picture, what we think of themreflects on what we think about all wqomen like them, but perhaps without their infamy or stardom?
The Sins Of Jamie Lynn
Are we more horrified now that according to a MySpace report Jamie Lynn might be a single mom now as well as 16? What can we use to damn her? I mean what did she do to get herself such scorn?
She must have had sex. Man, imagine that! The nerve! The slut! No one else ever dared to have sex at 16!
OK, stop laughing.
Seriously, I think we kind of need to face the pure facts that.. ready.. human beings have sex around 15/16/17 years of age. I think they even like it. I think they even really, really want to engage in sexual intercourse. Maybe they even feel, in a very self abbsorbed way, that they need to get them some of that booty sex action. Like it’s instinctual. .. human nature.
So that evil slut Jamie, she gave in to human nature.
Like.. the great majority of other human beings!! Holy horndogs batman! Most of us, rationalize our own bad behavors and poor chpices as we might, we still do the same things and give into the lusty temptations of the flesh.
Can we damn the Sourthern tease for not controlling her fertility better? Proof that she went a whoring by begetting herself with chil’? Dirty cow!
OK, but if we really are gonna blame folks for too much fertility then, in all fairness, we should personally blame the infertile for the too little fertility! Bit that’s really, just too mean, and would go over like a lead balloon and people would think I’m all hating on infertile folks. Yuck.
But we assume that Jamie Lynn Spears is knocked up because she is stupid. That she didn’t know better, that for all their money and stardom and opportunity, that she’s blowing it and ruining her life. Even her father is quoted in saying it. And dern Britnet isn’t giving too much creedence that these Spears girls are just great mommas either. Jamie’s got herself a tough raod ahead…sigh.
But does she? And who are we to shake our heads and lose our fate in her perky cutness? She’s only worthy is she acts the blond ditzy virgin and dare she venture off our sterotypical road map, then she is no longer a positive role model to our children? I spoke to other mothers yesterday who worried how they were to explain to their 9 and 11 year olds why Zoey 101 was no longer with Jamie. Now, pregnant, she must be cast away to the shadows of shame.
If we cannot even attempt to embrace this one girl, this one budding women, this one momma to be.. if she cannot still be a role model to our daughters.. for choosing life, for choosing parenting, for being fertile, for being sexual, for being human.. then who can?
Shje thought about it.. she made choices.. and she’s dealing with life.. openly, proudly, with some fortitude and.. grace.. even.
I have watched Zoey 101 with Scarlett. I wasn’t ever too much impressed before, but I’ll root for Miss Jamie now.. and I’ll explain the real truth to Scarlett too.
At least Jamie.. she became a bit real.
“Can we damn the Southern tease for not controlling her fertility better?”
Pretty tough for this ex-Southern belle to do that since I was 16 when my daughter was born. Since I parented at such a young age, my perspective is definitely affected by my own experience.
Hey, congrats on your article – great job!
Oops – not anonymous, it’s me – Cookie!
my response both times it’s come up in conversation so far has been “she’s human it happens its her business not ours” but this is only met with an exchange of knowing looks by the other parties in the conversation. apparently me having been one of those pregnant teens means I don’t get an opinion on pregnant teens.
“Be The Change You Wish to See in The World” … Gandhi
another thing this made me think of was that there is a pysch term that describes how when we do something wrong/bad we think of it as out of character/an exception… but in others we often see it as a defining trait… i was bitchy that day/she is a bitch
for me the dilemma is not that she’s pregnant. yes, 16 year olds sometimes have sex and sometimes get pregnant. The dilemma for me is that 16 year olds don’t “idolize” her….9-11 year olds do. I’m not feeling judgemental. just reflecting on how to talk about with my nine year old who loves “zoey 101.”
wanda
Great post, Claud. I wrote similarly on the birth-first parent blog but not nearly as cool. I didn’t feel the judgment so much as the jealousy that, despite one week, her Mom is supporting her through this debacle. Obviously, I’m happy for that as well… but that twinge of jealousy is always there. All the best to the young parents!!
😉
Wanda; There’s a great post up on the celebrity baby blog (here) about how to talk to your tweens and teens about teen pregnancy. Use this to your advantage.
I agree. We should be focusing on child and mother and how to help them make it together, not dissecting how Jamie Lynn got here. Good grief, we KNOW that.
Wisecracks about the book notwithstanding, it’s good to see Jamie Lynn’s mother support her. I wonder how many phone calls she’s gotten from adoption agencies offering to help her “solve” Jamie Lynn’s “problem?” Good on her for standing by her daughter!
i have to admit as a first mother and single mother of an 11 yr old. i had a mixed reaction.
of course as a first mother my hope is that she will be given resources and support.
but as a mom, i shuddered to think of all the little girls who now think being a teen mom is ‘cool’
this was cause for a big discussion at my house and i hope it caused more discussion with our daughters in more households.
Great Article Claud!
I talked to a friend of mine who listens to NPR, and the news of Jamie Lynn being pregnant was on there, a seven minute piece.
I for one, dont believe in watching much tv or putting any person who is in the stardom category as having it any better off than me or any one I know.
I was pretty sad that Brittany lost her sons to the father, I had hoped that they could all manage to keep the relationships open.
I hope that their mother can really be helpful to Jamie Lynn, and be there for her.
Yeah, and if we want to talk about young women not having sex, or having safe sex, we need to talk to the boys too. We also need to stop sexualizing children, feeding them hormones that make them go through puberty at 9. Etcetra….
I wrote about it yesterday too. I can’t believe the judgement that is being handed down to this young woman.
Here’s my take on it all, and also includes comment on hysterical reaction to some recent unwed pregnancy movies that have been intermixed with the Spears “scandal”. Claud pretty much said
it all, but here are a few more words from me.
maryanne
Is anyone else really tired of hearing about the “shocking” pregnancy of Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s 16 year old sister? This is a family with enough money to
support 50 kids, so who cares if she has a kid at 16 and keeps it? What I find interesting and hypocritical is all the squawk and squeal that she is actually going to HAVE the baby, and even worse for some people, keep it, and is not hiding in shame.
I would bet the number of teenaged and young 20s celebs who have
routinely had abortions over the years is huge, and everyone knew it but nobody talked about it so that’s ok. Even studio-ordered abortions, back in the 20s, 30s and 40s when the studios owned the stars. No doubt Marley can supply more info on that.
I am also amused and disgusted at some of the accounts of this real-life pregnancy and several recent movies both pro-life and pro-choice groups making asses of themselves wanting celebs and writers to push their respective agendas. The Religious Right are all confused, as Jamie is
not having an abortion (a pro-life hero:-) but also not ashamed and not giving up the baby for adoption (not suffering enough for her “sin”). Pro-choicers are regretting she did not do the “mature” thing and have an abortion.
Both sides are worried so bad about the example she is setting for teenaged girls, assuming that young women are stupid sheep who do whatever some grade D celebrity does, good or bad!
Hey, maybe this is just about a very wealthy young woman who got caught, and she and her family are facing up to the consequences. The stupid remarks people have made about her teen years being over, pain and suffering and no more fun, do not in the least take into account her financial status. She can hire all the help she needs, of every sort. No need to worry.And giving up a child for adoption under those circumstances would be just insane.
Would I go see “Juno”, “Knocked Up”, any of those movies? No, but I do not expect them to be moral treatises for anyone’s version of “moral” either. Why are there few movies about a young woman choosing abortion, as some pro-choice groups lament? Because it’s a downer, there is no story. Why are there no movies pushing “abstinence only” sex ed? Because it is bogus, stupid, and does not work, young hormones being what they are.
I hope Miss Jamie does not follow in the footsteps of her older sister as far as substance abuse and bad behavior, but I don’t see getting pregnant and having a kid in the same league.
I do not think celebrities are any more responsible to “set an example” in their personal life than anyone else. Hey folks….a lot of actors are vain and stupid, but have a special talent to entertain. Others are bright and interesting and have a special talent to entertain. That does not make them examples or plaster saints. Let’s give the “shocking” pregnancy story a rest.
maryanne