How the Real World Sees Adoptees, Adoptive Parents and Birthmothers

In the adoption community there  are tons of conversations about “educating”  the general public about adoption.  Depending on how you are adoption affected, what you think needs to happen will be very different.

Adoptive Parents  want people to accept their families built by adoption  and complain about the stupid questions people ask like  “Where is her real mother?” There is also many conversations about how the public should respect the birthmothers for being so selfless and brave to make such a courageous choice.  Adoptive parents are the saviors who took in another’s child.

Adoptees are suppose to be happy and grateful that they  were somehow  saved from either “ending up in an dumpster” or “from being aborted”.  Adoptees are “lucky”. They are suppose to just accept life that they are given and not care about their medical history or the fact that they are discriminated against by the government who denies Adoptee Rights. Adoptees who search  should be “happy with the parents they got” and if they do search, even our government expects them all to turn into stalking identity thieves.

The general public likes to blame the birthmother’s pain on her own irresponsible choices. She is punished for her fertility and the sexual drive that got her pregnant in the first place. I can’t how many times I have heard “well you should have thought of that before you spread your legs”. Our pain at being separated from our children is because we deserved it and, let’s not forget, we all would have abused our kids anyway or lived our poor lives on government assistance. Yup. We’re just a bunch of crack whore birth mothers.

Basically, unless you are actually adoption affected, and even then, only if you have done your own research and homework, most people have no clue about adoption.

To read more articles regarding the cultural views of adoption in our society, click here.