A Lesson in Cause and Effect
The holiday season; time for family, love, giving, thankfulness, togetherness and random acts of generosity. That’s what we are taught, that is the spirit of Christmas.
A respectful request was made to the powers that be over at Adoption by Gentle Care; for the holidays, would they be so kind as to update Carri on Camden’s medical condition as she is , like any mother would be, greatly concerned about her ill child and would they consider a visit between Carri, the other children and Camden?
Now truthfully, we did not expect that they would even respond, because they often just prefer to ignore any requests from this “side” or at least they seem to take their time. You know because this stuff just isn’t important. But there was this small chance, this 2% hope buried deep that kindness compassion and the spirit of the holidays might prevail and allow them to be the humane thing, put aside all the legal issues, and do the right thing for this family. Wouldn’t that just have been wonderful? Wouldn’t that have just shown the smallest crack in the hard, cold, outer shell of cruelty that we have seen as Gentle Care all these long months? Wouldn’t THAT small act of kindness on their behalf made us begin to rethink their motives and hope that there could be a mall positive light to be shown on this whole sad tale?
It would have been lovely and I would have been thrilled to report that Adoption by Gentle Care does have a heart someplace.
But they do not.
Adoption by Gentle Cares Response
Now I don’t know exactly what they said because I guess the answer was just so over the top and so damn cruel that Carri’s lawyer won’t let her see it. She is being protected from the level of venom. Needless to say, it was not surprising, yet so disappointing. Once again, Adoption by Gentle Care has proven themselves, by their own actions, to be seriously consists of the lowest life forms of humanity.
Apparently Carri has no right to know about her son’s medical condition or care because she is “not” his mother. The repeated statement that ” he is getting the best medical care” was stated in some form again.
And, a visit would be “awkward” for them because poor ,poor Adoption by Gentle Care has been “vilified” on the internet” by us supporters in AdoptionLand.
Vilified.
I am guessing that is an actual quote, but wow.. I call bullshit on that one.
The Rights of a Mother To Know About her Sick Child
Just for kicks let’s start there; fist off it a Pat Hamilton , the attorney for AGC, who let it be known that Camden was diagnosed at all back in My? June? I forget, to be honest. So if Carri has, according to them, no right at all to know because she is not considered legality his mother based on her forced signature on the relinquishment consent, then why n God’s name would Pat Hamilton have let that bit of information be known? Surly, they thought it through and realized that knowing Camden was sick would make Carri’s story garnish just so much more sympathy? And at that point, everything was already playing out online, so they knew that they would have to read about it and the information would be shared publically, right? So why share information that a) they didn’t feel that had to and b) could hurt them in the views of public opinion? Why would Pat and AGC let that information “slip out”?
It wasn’t the goodness of their heart or a small sliver of compassion for this mother, I can tell you that!
Nope. Somehow, in their small little minds, Adoption by Gentle Care imagined that upon hearing her baby was “broken” , Carri wouldn’t care to fight for her baby anymore. Maybe she won’t care anymore now that she finds out he isn’t “perfect’ and she would just go away. Obviously, Adoption by Gentle Care has vastly underestimated the love and protection that naturally occurs between a mother an child, sick or not. I guess they never considered that his being ill would create an even greater need to care for her child? It’s really just so insulting and shows what Adoption by Gentle Care thinks about what they considered ” their birthmothers“. Yup, birthmothers are cold calculating beasts who reject their babies that are less than perfect. Gross.
And while they couldn’t be bothered moving Camden off Carri’s medical insurance in the beginning as they were required to do by law and it was OK for Carri to receive notice of his specialist being approved, because she was getting insurance notices, after letting this information ‘”slip”, they can’t be bothered to do a decent thing and let a grieving mother really know how her child is faring. Once again, it’s all about them and their needs, their wants, their desires. They thought this information might give Carri a good reason to go away and that’s why they did it.
Not Vilifying, Just Reporting the Actual Truth
I have to honestly say that I think the folks running the show at Adoption by gentle Care are seriously just stupid. Form the very beginning we have been very open and honest and said; “Just rescind the relinquishment, give back Camden and this can all be over.”
They have had the power to do this the whole time. They could have done so in April after the original adoption family returned Camden because they were concerned about the developmental and emotional affects of keeping this baby away from a loving family. They could have, and Adoption by Gentle Care even considered it, but then they decided to call Carri’s bluff. They choose to believe that she would give up the fight and go away. The decided, rather than to do the right thing, the humane thing, the decent thing, to punish Carri for daring to not only fight them, but to let others know about the truth of what was happening.
But they need to be vindicated in some way. They needed the court to help them uphold their actions as the” Permanent Surrender must be held sacrosanct”. And even after the stupid kangaroo court in August did that, Adoption by Gentle Care could have had their cake and ate it too. They had their damn vindication, but they STILL could have been dent folks and just returned Camden hen. In fact, while I was away in England, that was the message sent over the internets; Do the right thing and return Camden home.
Adoption by Gentle Care choose to ignore that, too and continued to keep Camden and Carri separated. In fact, every time a request has been made whether though public pressure and perception or though a formal means of a settlement, they have chosen to say no. They keep on choosing to do the exactly opposite of what would be good for not only Carri,. Not only Camden, not only whichever adoptive family they keep trying to pull into this mess, but for THEMSELVES.
We know that their “ruined reputation” hurts them, but they refuse to do the very thing that would allow the public to see any hint of goodness, care, or kindness in their actions. I would LOVE to be able to write; “I was wrong- Adoption by Gentle Care does have a heart” just as I have been so aching to write “Yeah, Adoption by Gentle Care has done the right thing and given Camden back!!” Yet, I cannot because they just keep on doing what is expected. Adoption by Gentle Care continues to be, well, just a bunch of stupid assholes.
I mean really.. we have given them multiple outs practically on silver platter and they keep on hurting themselves and then try to blame others for their actions. Really, it’s simply a matter of choice and consequences. They choose to keep on doing the wrong thing and then the consequence of that choice is that people are critical. If you want people to stop thinking bad things about you, then perhaps a novel idea would be to STOP doing the very thing that you are being criticized for. How many times to I have to spell it out: Just give Camden back!
But nooooo, they will not do that and they won’t even give in to a request for some kindness because ti would be awkward for them. Not good for a baby. Not good for the other children affected. Not good for the mother. Awkward for THEM.
It’s All a Sick Game
Now I know this does seem all really hard to believe. I mean, really.. who could be this horrible? I must have to wrong, right? I must be making something up or exaggerated or something. But then, I offer to you the actions of the Director of Adoption by Gentle Care, Trina Saunders:
Trina, who did in fact wear flip flops in court. And Carri did tell me about it because it was just so disrespectful to both her, the seriousness of the situation, and the court. And Trina, who stalks all things here, knew we found her flip flop wearing self to be disrespectful.
But surely that was just an oversight, right? Surely, as the director of the agency, the one who sets the tone and has from what can be seen the most control even though she doesn’t even hold an MSW, takes this situation seriously and has some sort of reverent respect for this process even when under fire? Nope.
Once again, I can only report the proof of what they keep on choosing to do; Trina Saunders changed her Twitter name to “Flop Flops!” as a direct mockery of the pain a that she, personally, has had a direct hand in putting Carri and Camden through.
A minor dig perhaps, maybe even this could be seen as petty act, some sort of silly drama online. Until, of course, it is taken in the context that this is a bay we are talking about,. This is a a mother’s life. This is a sick baby and 5 other children who are missing their baby brother this holiday season and who are hurting.
Changing your name to Flip Flops! as a mockery and to be cruel does not mesha with what they want us to believe in their own words:
“At Adoption by Gentle Care, we care deeply about all whom we touch – birth mothers, adoptive parents, and especially the children we place in loving families. ”
No, you don’t. You do NOT care at all about anything other than yourselves and even with that you fail. Just keeping digging that deeper hole.
And if you really want people to think at his about you, then DO something to PROVE it.
Stop being assholes…in the spirit of Christmas.
