Letter goes out Monday…

April 1, 2006

With “blessings” from the boy:

Hell, go for it. I want them to stop being retarded too. Probably more. I’ve had to live with the idiocy for the last 18 years. Yikes. Worst thing that happens is they continue being stupid. Which wouldn’t surprise me. So I’ll just continue doing the exact opposite of what they say, which wouldn’t surprise them. Then, everyone is happy. Except them. But we dont care about that anyways.

I love how things work out.

Love,
Max

Note: I don’t really not care if they are not happy…I would like them to be Ok with it all…hence the letter. But IF they can’t deal…then I am terribly grateful that this wise boy of mine can deal with that and not cut me out due to pressure. I live in fear of that coming to pass..and maybe he is just terribly rebelious(hmmm..who could he possible be like with that??) and I am getting the good side of that stick, but after 18 years..I’ll take what I can get even if it means that I am put into the “fantasy cool mom ” roll. I am cool. But I am not encouraging evil teenage rebellion if anyone is thinking that. K?

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About the Author

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admin
Musings of the Lame was started in 2005 primarily as a simple blog recording the feelings of a birthmother as she struggled to understand how the act of relinquishing her first newborn so to adoption in 1987 continued to be a major force in her life. Built from the knowledge gained in the adoption community, it records the search for her son and the adoption reunion as it happened. Since then, it has grown as an adoption forum encompassing the complexity of the adoption industry, the fight to free her sons adoption records and the need for Adoptee Rights, and a growing community of other birthmothers, adoptive parents and adopted persons who are able to see that so much what we want to believe about adoption is wrong.

12 Comments on "Letter goes out Monday…"

  1. momseekingpeace | April 1, 2006 at 8:37 pm |

    Great news, I love his willingness to be out there, especially with all I read about adopted person’s rejection fears. Honestly I must say that this has something to do with what he was born with, along with….the way he was raised. he must feel some security? Yes? Or just plain doesnt care, I would hope for the first option.
    Msp

  2. suz | April 1, 2006 at 8:42 pm |

    i think its wonderful. i really do. again, i say that as a mom whose daughter, older than your son, does not have the strength and courage to share my existance with her family. kudos to you and max.

  3. Kippa Herring | April 2, 2006 at 1:40 am |

    “I love how things work out.” He’s game.
    Sounds as if your letter might turn out to be cathartic.
    Let’s hope.

  4. Cookie | April 2, 2006 at 3:44 am |

    Max sounds like so wise for someone his age! He also sounds like a rebel and much like….his mom!

    Good thoughts coming your way for the letter to have the effect that you want. You know – we all know that you are trying to be respectful of his aparents!

  5. FauxClaud | April 2, 2006 at 4:38 am |

    Oh I know you guys know…it’s all those “others” who might be reading and saying to themselves..well you know what I mean…ah, I am being paranoid..I’m gonna go cut my hair!

  6. Lisa V | April 2, 2006 at 5:45 am |

    Frankly these are the times that having Noelle (Apple’s birth mother) as an allie, friend and confidan,t help. When Apple and I have a disagreement she will on occassion see my side by talking to Noelle. I in turn tell Noelle when Apple could use a call or email.

    I hope Max’s parents realize that having you as part of his life and their’s, can be great. Luck.

    In my experience, teenagers need little encouragement to be rebels.

  7. mskimkim | April 2, 2006 at 6:41 am |

    Max sounds so like he belongs more with you than with them. That happens, it just does. L. isn’t like that and that’s ok too. I think it’s great that you don’t take sides or say they are faulty as well, that’s great. You just let him be himself and stay being the adult. You are handling this so spiritually – I love that. SO mentally healthy!

  8. marlene | April 2, 2006 at 9:47 am |

    I am happy for you that he gave the go ahead. I think it is great that you allow him the space to be rebellious, but also don’t participate in his struggles with his family. As he is an adult that relationship will change in whatever way it does, and by supporting him but letting it be, you also give room for both of you in the future to have peace with them. It doesn’t come off at all like you are encouraging the discord with his parents ( I didn’t read your letter, but the comments of those who did sound like it is about your heart). And as a side (guess) your son may also subconciously testing your reaction to his feelings – so you just come off as a safe place for him all around. It must be hard to achieve all that.

    I tried to email you yesterday, but I don’t know if it came through, the first aol one got bounced then I tried msn.

  9. FauxClaud | April 2, 2006 at 4:37 pm |

    Oh I just have to fiqure out how to make an email me button or something…

    ImeClaud2003@yahoo.com

  10. N | April 3, 2006 at 3:29 am |

    No words, just lots of smiles for you.

    =) =) =)

  11. Overwhelmed! | April 3, 2006 at 7:07 pm |

    Good luck with the letter! Glad Max gave you a response before you sent it out.

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