Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Adoption News, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers, The Adoption Industry February 9, 2015

Flip-Flopping on Adoption: Aussie PM Proposes Shopping for Kids

By Mirah Riben In March 2013 Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard issued a national apology for forced adoptions of the 20th century. The apology, which recognized the coercion and exploitation of mothers in order to obtain children to meet a demand for adoption, was viewed by the worldwide adoption community with admiration, appreciation and the hope that it signaled a major step forward against unethical adoption practices. When the apology…

Pending Adoption Legislation February 3, 2015

NY’s Surrogacy Bills #A04319 and S02765

NY’s Child-Parent Security Act #A04319 and S02765 has been introduced to legalize compensated surrogacy in New York, and provide “protections” that ensure surrogates are entering into legal agreements and there’s no question that the intended parents of the child have full rights that they paid for.
Of course, also included in the proposed legislation are the already archaic practice of sealing the ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

Costs of Adoption, Cultural Views on Adoption, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers February 3, 2015

Living With Adoption’s Dichotomies and Myths

By Mirah Riben “ “Adoption loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE Imagine sharing your feelings of missing your deceased father (or brother) and hearing: “Be glad you still have your mother (or sister)” as if your loved ones are interchangeable. Such a response would be off target, dismissive, and…

When hopeful adoptive parents go wrong

Community, Cultural Views on Adoption February 2, 2015

 Yes, I Will Call HAPS out when Trolling for Babies

Personally, I think this whole “people have a right to build a family any way they feel comfortable with” ideal is just seriously messed up. Yes, we DO have a right, as a society, or judge others and say “Hey, this is not cool. ” I mean isn’t that how civilization decides on things? Isn’t that how we put it in place that we are not allowed to kill each other? Isn’t that how slavery was ended? Isn’t that how laws that prevent things like their and beatings and rape and abuse happen? Isn’t that how we are supposed to things like stop bullying? We are supposed to say something? Educate? Stand up and be heard? There are certain practices that happen in adoption, that are considered acceptable by the industry that are NOT acceptable and are deemed hurtful by the community who is tired of being preyed upon. What are we supposed to do? Sit back and say nothing because others might be upset? Sorry, that just not in my DNA.

birthmother blues adoptive families bad advice

Birthmother Grief, The Adoption Industry February 2, 2015

When the Adoption Experts are Wrong

So what I read is a educated therapist adoption professional who SHOULD have access to all the known research of birthmother grief and is seemingly choosing to ignore it instead repeating the propaganda laden ideals of how we WANT adoption to be. The studies clearly state that our grief intensifies over time. There is no peace. A birthmother’s grief is continuous, disenfranchised and complicated. An “article” like this only serves to lead both adoptive parents and any birthmothers up to fail. This supposed two year window sets a stage where people are going to expect that grief will lessen after two years which is a direct contradiction of the research. Now granted there is limited research on birthmother grief, but that gives even more reasoning to expect that Ms. Mantell should be familiar with the facts she speaks of.

Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers January 29, 2015

Un-Adopting: Is Divorcing Children an Acceptable Option?

By Mirah Riben A couple identified as Allen and Cheryl was the latest to seek the help of Dr. Phil in dealing with an out of control child who has been terrorizing their family. Their son, nine-year-old Steve, was diagnosed with 18 mental illnesses. He was placed in three mental hospitals in the last year alone and takes multiple medications to control his behavior, but nothing helped for long. Home…

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Rants and Raves January 28, 2015

Once I Was a Troll

I was reminded of an old mistake today. Granted, it was not a gentle reminder, but a let me shove this in your face because look you SCREWED up taunt, but I had completely forgotten about it, so it was a reminder for me. And yes, I had screwed up. And thankfully, I learned a very valuable lesson on internet transparency, trust, integrity and owning up to mistakes.

Adoptee Rights, Mirah Riben on Huffington Post, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers January 27, 2015

Adopted Child Doe and Amended Birth Certificates

By Mirah Riben The Supreme Court case of Adopted Child Doe brings to a head the absurdity of amended “birth” certificates issued to adoptees. The 20-month-old known as Adopted Child Doe is Cooper Talmas-Vitale. Cooper was adopted by Joseph Vitale and Rob Talmas shortly after his birth in Ohio. The adoption is recognized in New York, where the two men are married and live with the toddler. But Ohio, the…

A Birthmothers Life January 26, 2015

Paving a Path to Adoption

As I type this right now, it has occurred to me that I do not recall one single time when any one of my family members ever sat down with me and really asked how I was doing. Not even after I ran away and my whole family was involved in that. No wonder I was looking for love in the wrong places and I ran into the arms of that adoption agency. At least they acted like they cared and I was literally starving.

Community January 24, 2015

Get Syndicated on Musings of the Lame

I think most of us write because we have something valid to say and we do want to share our point of view. That’s important as all our voices matter, but the things is, of course, it only works if someone else actually sees our words and reads them. And that’s what syndication on MOTL can do; you WILL get more people reading your words. This isn’t about tooting my own horn, but the fact is that this site usually ranks number one nationally in Google for many relevant and important search terms. And yes, there is that simple fact that over a third of a million pages, 377,378 URLs to be exact, were seen on the site here in 2014. Most “posts” initially are seen by approximately 1000 readers. However, I can also say that I know there is a direct correlation between the number of posts and the amount of views; more posts generates way more traffic- so in this way the system continues to feed itself!

Are you in? Please?

All I Need is Your Feed

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Cassi's Adoption Truth, Cultural Views on Adoption, More Adoption Blogs from Adoption Bloggers January 23, 2015

My Not So Perfect Life

By Cassi Did you know my family is crazy? We’re dysfunctional. We make huge mistakes. We can be irritating and annoying. And we are so far from perfect or anything close to it. And yet, as one who was literally saved from becoming yet another “unplanned pregnancy” lost to adoption, I am so thankful for my family, all the good AND all the bad. We had another big family wedding…