The Twisted Logic of Being a Birthmother
How can we be “good” if we do relinquish, but “bad” for considering the act that would eventually be “good”? Does not the final goodness cancel out the bad?
Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog
New Dayton Ohio Area Adoption Support Group!
First meeting of Dayton Ohio Adoption support group will be on June 19th, 2014 at Vandalia Rec Center.in Dayton, OH. Open to birth parents, adult adoptees, siblings, adoptive parents, and significant others In conjunction with Adoption Network Cleveland.
Supporting iReunion
If you have ever searched, then you know that the numbers of “online adoption reunion registries” is daunting. There is no lack of places to look through or to register with, but many are outdated, cumbersome and really NOT searchable. There comes a time when one must say “it’s time to build a better mousetrap”. Enter iReunion. iReunion is a new adoption search and reunion that is an App based program designed to search FOR YOU! Once you register and if no internal match be found, the software will search web-based sources for a potential match. It will actually network with over half a million other registries beyond the internal listings. It searches 24/7 on your behalf and gives you back any potential matches.
Addressing My Racist Contributions to the Birthparent Activist Panel
When I really look at my own attitudes towards racism, then I am no different than the white adoptive parents who refuse to see the racism that their children experience because they are also “not racists.” Just because a person refuses to see it, doesn’t mean it is not there and, in this case, doesn’t mean that they can’t blunder into it. In fact the refusal to even think about the impact of my own words because I was so above it meant that I did, in reality, contribute. I can’t even say it is a silence that created my complicity, but a refusal to even consider the possibility that made it possible.
New Jersey’s Golden Cradle Adoption Inc; More Unethical Adoption Agency Hyjinks
Met Ana; she was told that she had the 30 day revocation timeframe under PA law because she is from PA, she lives in PA, she was told the family lived in PA, and the baby was born in PA, only to now be told that it’s a New Jersey adoption. Of course, New Jersey does not have a revocation of adoption consent period recognized by law. How convenient.
AdoptionLand Reading May 2014
Grandma’s Experiences Leave a Mark on Your Genes with genome regulation and methylation, Why DO People Insist on Believing Things that Aren’t True and how to be heard- aka Online Attack For Choosing Adoption Is Not OK and Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Pregnancy in Prison plus a really kick ass comment!
Adoptee Mary Gauthier at the Rosendale Cafe in New York 2014
Where: Rosendale Cafe 434 Main St.m in Rosendale, NY 12472 845.658.9048
When: June 13, 2014 – 8:00 pm
Why: An Evening with Mary Gauthier
Tickets: $20 at the Cafe ( get there early for a seat and get dinner! )
National Council For Adoption’s 2014 National Adoption Conference in Florida
The National Council For Adoption will host the 2014 National Adoption Conference at the Buena Vista Palace in Orlando, Florida. I will not be attending but I DO implore that if anyone CAN, to please DO so. Our voices cannot be heard if we do not demand a seat at the table.
Join me in the New York Screening of “Breeders: A Subclass of Women?” on June 18th
As I have long said that there is a strong correlation between what happens in surrogacy and what happens in adoption, so a film like Breeders is very important. It is an honest look at the risks of surrogate mothers and the commoditization of fertility and pregnancy, egg donations, and assisted reproductive technology in regard to human rights violations and women’s empowerment. Surrogacy is making all the same mistakes that have been made in adoption and have not yet learned from the past decades of education and awareness because the two have been seen as separate, but it’s really not very different.
Thinking More About the Birthmother Closet
Sometimes, I literally surprise myself when I say things. I did that while on the show. If you note, I did mention the “skeleton” in the closet in my “before” writing. Rather expected and cliché, I know, but when I took it literally, as a real set of bones, which did mean that something died in the closet; then the visual became, I think, a powerful truth. If there is a real place called the birthmother Adoption Closet, then what really died inside was the mother we were supposed to be before surrendering.
Unwed Fathers’ Rights Regarding Infant Adoption
“The most commonly contested adoptions occur where mothers want to place children for adoption and fathers object” (Beck, 2007). To prevent other children from being traumatized like Veronica Brown, policies could be revised so a child is not available for adoption until parental rights have been relinquished or terminated. Also that fathers’ rights “be treated no differently than the biological mother, i.e. his parental rights can be terminated involuntarily only upon a showing of unfitness (Spitko, 2006, p. 276).
There Is No Escaping Mother’s Day for Birthmothers
On a day meant to honor motherhood, you can’t help thinking of the one you never get to see. You can’t help missing those who are missing from your life. Mother’s Day, like birthdays and holidays of any sort, become a time to reflect and wonder where your child is and who he honors on that day. Does he think of you? Does he wonder? What is his name and are his eyes as blue?
CUB Birth Parent Membership Drive and Discount!
Concerned United Birthparents ( CUB ) is offering a $10 discount on all new memberships from May 1st through Father’s Day. I am proud to be a member of CUB and strongly encourage other birthmothers ( and fathers) to invest a small amount of time and money to join up.
Walking the Talk on the Radio THIS Thursday!
How to Come out of the Adoption Closet and Use Your Voice!
I’ll be chatting with my AAC roomie Adoptee LeAnne Parsons this Thursday May, 1st, 2014
So there is more info on the Facebook event, but in general consider it like an inside view of what Leanne and I talked about as we fell asleep each night in San Francisco at the AAC conference!
Emotional Unpacking; One Week After the American Adoption Congress Conference
So Much Adoption in Just Five San Francisco Days. After going to more than a few adoption conferences, it might seem silly to say that they are life changing events. I mean, really, how many times can one’s life really change? But I have to say, that I did walk away with one giant realization when I got home.