Chloe + Isabel by Suz Fundraiser to Help Mothers
WHEN: Month of January 2013
WHERE: Online
BONUS: Help Mothers at Risk Parent their Children and Buy Great Jewelry!
Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog
Surrogacy, Donor Eggs, and Legal Battles, Oh My!
As a country, we need to accept that no matter how much an individual might “want” something, it doesn’t mean it is ethical, moral or right to create people and then transfer their basic ties to their identity. The biggest losers here are the children.
A Blow to International Adoption; Russian Children and Babies Banned from United States Adoptions
The simple truth is, if the adoption industry had done their job of informing adoptive families of the real risks of adopting an institutionalized, FAS Russian orphan, then the sensational news stories about returned children would never have angered the Russian government. If they had done their job and screened potential adoptive families better, then we might not have read about so many Russian adoptees abused or murdered by their “loving” adoptive parents. If they provided low cost post adoption services to meet the needs to the community they helped create, then underground “adoptee swapping networks” and places like the Ranch for Kids, would not be needed.
Deep Sadness, an Illness of Body and Spirits
So, the patter was 30 years old, but just this past Thanksgiving we had a 24 pound bird on it. Yet, this past week, just a mere two days after my new anger directed towards my mother, it broke. It didn’t break due to someone dropping it, or banging it or anything logical like that. Nope, it SHATTERED in MID air as Rye held it. With our much desired dinner on the floor, he was shocked. He didn’t drop it; literally disintegrated in his hands. My immediate thought was that my mother did it.
Pain from the Past, Feeling the Presence
What strikes me now is that clearly, from the letters, one of my major concerns is what would I do afterwards, where would I go, how would I survive and that my mother’s home was an unsafe place for me to be. Like really, for my mental health, my mother was damaging to me and returning home after such a loss, I would be even more venerable, but yet.. they sent me back there after I had my baby.
They gladly took my child to protect him, but then left me right back here I was. How is this looking out for my best interests?
Letters from Boston, Notes to the Past
” I go to the agency. Talk about depressing! We had to go over all these horrible forms which I’ll have to sign. All official shit. No turning back. ” You understand that you are giving up all rights as a mother and you will never see your child again” I don’t want to sign THAT! It’s so horrid. Until today, it didn’t seem so very real. I feel like it’s a bad dream and I’d like someone to wake me up. There’s no choice. There’s no way out. And I don’t think I like this at all. I’ve always thought about it and felt I could do it fine, but now I can’t image really going through with it forever and I have to. It sucks. I hope I can just stick I tin a box deep deep down like I do with everything and not think about it. As long as I don’t think about it, I’ll do OK, If I can just do it and stuff it in a box.”
Letters From My Pregnant Self – Pre Adoption
What Really Happened When I was Away On the surface, everything here is OK. Inside I’m feeling pretty lost – but nothing can be done about that. I’ll hold out. From my first letter written August 24th, 1987 I think it was back in ’06 when I first asked Laura if she still had my letters from Boston saved. I used to inquire about them periodically. I was writing out…
In Search of a January 1970 Florida Born Female Adoptee
Elizabeth gave birth to a baby girl in January 1970 during the first two weeks of January and her daughter was relinquished to adoption. The adoption, like most during that time, was closed with no telling where her daughter went once she signed the relinquishment papers. It is hoped that perhaps her daughter has requested her non identifying adoption information form the state of Florida. If you are in the age range of 42 and female adoptee from Florida who is searching, please compare to what the possible non identifying information might hold.
Adoption’s Birthmother Submissions Wanted – Dec 2012
Here’s a few anthology writing submissions and the start of the end of year Best of Blogs, all for adoption, of course. Birthmother perspectives, as well as adoptee stories, are needed. Add your voice!
The Next Stage for Adoption Truth Conversations
To me, it is clear that we need to have our own show. The response to that idea posted to Facebook was met with enthusiasm. I have gone over all the instructions and documentation. I think it will be fairly easy to pull this off or at least to get it started. Essentially, you and I will sit on either end of a webcam/ Ipad and just talk about adoption. Except it will be live on air on Google Plus and also streaming to YouTube! I’m actually really looking forward to being able to actually speak to so many of us! It will be like we are really hanging out talking about adoption in person!
Another Father Fights for His Parental Rights
“Baby Hailey” is almost three years old. Since before she was born her Father has been trying to establish his parental rights.. The travesty of California court, which had previously reinstated his paternal rights, is now used to exercise another wanna-be adoptive mothers fantasy under the name of unlawful guardianship application.
Birthmother’s Cake: What People Really Think About the Act of Selfless Love Called Adoption
Where Is All This Birthmother Cake They Speak of? The mysterious “Birthmother Cake” that birthmothers all expect to feast upon. Somehow, people actually believe that being separated from one’s child is easy and maybe even selfishly pleasurable? Pardon my pun, but do they think that relinquishment is actually a cakewalk?A mother is suppose to give her children away to more deserving parents, dry her tears, buck up and move on. She is suppose to leave the adoptive parents alone and “get over” herself.
Monday Adoption Updates!
I have a guest post over on The Other Mother called “This Is Adoption Happily Ever After” A Perfect Adoption by the Books I usually find this kind of comment dismissive, but rather than focus on being insulted, I point out that, in truth, the relinquishment and subsequent adoption of my son was actually picture perfect. I am a perfect example of exactly what adoption is when it works just…
15 Ways to Be Vulnerable to Adoption Agencies
I figured I am usually so mean against adoption agencies and never do anything nice for them. So I figured that I would write a post that makes it easier for women to become birthmothers. See, look at me supporting adoption! Hence, here’s a handy guide on how to become more vulnerable for adoption agencies and ways to ensure that you will place your baby.
The Reality of Adoption 2012;
The agency is telling me that I am asking too much from the adoptive parents, and that I need to get into therapy and move on with my life. They have no idea what being a birthmother is about. They cannot imagine what it feels like to give your child away because others have convinced you that you were not good enough for your own child, only to come to your senses after it’s too late and say to yourself, “I would have been good enough.”