Musings of the Lame; An Adoption Blog

Crisis Pregnancy Centers Funneling Adoption Misinformation

What the adoption industry counts on is that we won’t bother digging in and finding how they are all connected. It’s really easy to make a nonprofit host one website that links to another controlled website that links to another and make them all look independent. What they are doing is breaking up the whole message into little bits that then get fed to women over and over again, It looks like the message comes from all these different sources that have only her best interests at heart, but all roads lead to Bethany and Adoption and a lifetime of grief.


American Adoption Congress 2013 Annual Conference

Create the Next Wave
WHO: American Adoption Congress in connection with Adoption Network Cleveland
WHEN: 04/10/2013 to 04/14/2013
WHERE: Hilton Garden Inn Downtown Cleveland @ 1100 Carnegie Avenue, Cleveland, Ohio
BONUS: I’ll be presenting on a panel on April 11


It’s NOT About Vaginas

This whole election has just made me feel HATED for being a women and I am just having trouble understanding it. I have trouble understanding we are having these conversations with the other side. I have trouble understanding WHY there even IS another side!



It’s a Birthmother Halloween

While I do get to see more moms in one sitting, I usually have to wait for a conference or the Adoptee Rights Demonstration for such numbers. This was our party, at my house! We didn’t have signs around our necks or take a group picture or anything, but I was ridiculously excited. We were not out numbered. We didn’t even every really talk about adoption. We were normal.


Nature Verses Nurture and Family Connections

I usually see the family connections, or lack of, as a failing on my part.Sometimes I think it’s because I was hurt and therefore have a mistrust. Sometimes, I think I’s just because I am a horrible person or something. Sometimes I blame the affects of relinquishment..after all, when you give your baby away to strangers when he is a newborn, you really can’t get all emotional over Christmas cards from cousins.





Can We Understand why Mothers Relinquish Babies to Adoption?

It is only after the true depth of the loss can be accepted that we see that we made a great error in judgment. There is value in the connection between mother and child that cannot be replaced by monetary things and perceived life successes. There is value in being with our own clans and the biological connections that make us who were are. There is great pain and loss in adoption for both the original family and the adoptee no matter how beneficial their placement is. The adoption industry is just that: an industry and it is often corrupt and money driven.



The Risk of Genetic Sexual Attraction for Adoptees and Birth Parents in Reunions

“Parent and child go through a very complex bonding process from the beginning of life to the first six years,” she said. “They go through phases and in the teen years, they separate. That whole process goes dormant until they reunite as adults. It’s almost like it awakens back the recognition in that the other person is a mirror of yourself.” DeNeen said she felt like she was regressing back to childhood, falling in love and looking to her dad as a hero. “I felt a lot of need for intimacy,” she said. “The lines were so blurry.” But she makes it clear that she never had sexual intercourse with her father, even though the relationship was “very inappropriate.” And like others who experience GSA, she crossed physical boundaries that were “embarrassing, confusing, amazing and overwhelming,”



“Ripped Away From the ONLY Home the Child Has EVER Known”

Possession is nine point nine tenths of the law when it comes to child custody and contested adoptions. While dads try to understand this new reality of hell, try to find legal help, funds, and information; stumbling over punitive father’s registries, state paternity filing dates and out of state adoption agencies; they just sit back, and wait for him to get so defeated, so tired, so overwhelmed, that he just goes away, beaten. Just keep fighting.


Conversations with the “Other Side”

Huge said: “So you are an anti-religious bigot. What about the millions of women who regret killing their baby for the rest of their lives??? What about all the of women that are maimed and ruined for life by being pushed into killing their own child? Do you really think mass abortion is a sound choice for birth control when so many other methods are available? I think you hate yourself and other women.”