I don’t have a problem with the IDEA of adoption.
I am not ‘anti-adoption’
There will always be some children who need a safe and loving home. What I have a problem with, is what adoption has BECOME.
And what it has done to people.
This isn’t how it should be:
• Sealed Records.
• Exchanging Money.
• No Agency Accountability.
• Inadequate back ground Checks.
• Coercion of Expectant Parents
• Lack of Honest Counseling.
• Lack of Follow-up C are
• Gray and Black Market Adoptions
• Kidnapping
• Adoption being “Trendy”
• Kids “Aging out”
• Disruptions/Dissolutions
• “Paper Pregnant”
• Savior Complex
• Kid Collectors
• Suicide
• PTSD
• Depression
• “Orphan” Care with Living Parents
• Rehoming Adopted Children
• Pre-Birth ‘Matching’
• Unenforceable ‘Open’ Adoptions
• Re-Birthing Programs
• “Fast Track” Adoption
• “Gotcha Day”
• Twisted Language
• “Ownership”
• Children as Imports/Exports
• Child Trafficking
• Ignoring Father’s Rights
• Unnecessary / Forced Adoption
• Assimilation Programs
• NCFA
• Social Experimentation
I’m a gray market adoptee, hardly no paper trail and the paperwork that I do have suggests two birth dates.
I tell people, I’m not bitter over being adopted, I’m just bitter because there is no paper trail. So something needs to change. Gray and black market is very prevalent in todays society.
I am adopted and I’m glad that it was a closed adoption. I have no desire to know anything about my birth parents except maybe health records. Why would I? Just because I’m genetically related to them doesn’t mean I ever saw them as “my parents”. Open adoptions aren’t for everyone. I’m really happy with my life. Your opinion seems really selfish and narrow-minded. Just saying. You’re still not thinking of it from the child’s POV – you’re still thinking of yourself and objectifying children as objects that you own because of genetic heritage. I agree that birth parents, etc. should have adequate counseling, etc. if needed, but we are our own people and the parents that adopt us are still our real parents – not our birth parents.
If you have no desire to know anything about birth parents and are so happy with your life, then why are you bothering to read a birthmother blog?? Not to mention that this particular post is about adoption ethics overall and has NOTHING to do with how happy you might or might not be or if you want to search or even ANYONE’s feelings that could or not be called “selfish and narrow minded”.
But you just go on now with your foggy little self. Have fun storming the castle. We’ll be here you get back.
While I respect your opinion I sense you have resentment for your birthmother. I think if you’re so well adjusted and happy with your origin you probably wouldn’t be clicking around on this blog. It’s okay to love your (adoptive) parents and still be curious about your (original) parents. You might consider getting some counseling that specializes in this realm. Good luck with your “not looking” for your birthmother .
C.C. Not that Claud needs any defending, but as an adult adoptee I believe she gets things better than most…she gets the child’s point of view and the adult adoptee (one and adopted child’s) point of view. And I am glad that you are so happy…oh, but maybe you are the one who is a tad “selfish and narrow minded”….then again, maybe you are just super happy…that’s up to you to figure out. Keep reading, friend.
So, let me try to understand this, C.C. You’re saying that because you, personally, are happy we should do nothing to stop any of the abuses that currently happen in the adoption industry? How does that even make sense?
I see a lot of adoptees like yourself show up on our adoptee support forum, loudly proclaiming how perfect everything is to the point where I wonder why they are even on a support forum. And then, little by little, every post I read by them tells an entirely different story. Maybe this is not the case for yourself – maybe you really are just fine – but why then are you so upset here? Don’t you care that every child might not have your ideal situation? Shouldn’t all children have the right to be happy? You sound a tad angry, and maybe not just at this blog. I’m sorry that your personal happiness feels so threatened by us working to make adoption about the CHILDREN and not about adult needs or the industry profit margins.