Where to begin, what to say…So very much to report.

What Suz says is all true..and so why rewrite?
I am trully haunted by witnessing so much pain and loss, yet so honored to be part of it. It was AMAZING to finialy met so many “voices”..and be in the same room with them.

So… I got to NY and first, I did “the” deed as covered in my previous post. From there, I went safely into the arms of the protective mothership…getting to the hotel, they directed me to a dining room where I saw my beloved Suz, and met some moms from Scotland. Then we went upstairs to the suit..and everyone was there!! What excitement..what a thrill!
I was suppose to travel out to LI that night to sleep at my best friend Lauralei’s house, but it was deemed too late by Gayle and Gail..who insisted on taking me in and keeping me at their hotel. One thing I have learned in life, is that sometimes, it is best to allow others to do a good deed and to just be happy..and so, I did which gave me a great chance to get these two marvelous ladies better.
Then after Gayle supplied me with my much needed coffee in the AM…yes, she went and insisited that they open the coffee shop early for us, banging on the door, in NY in the rain, in her PJ’s….god bless!..back to the conference!!
Carol Schaffer and Rickie Solinger in the AM….then the marvelous Bernadette discussing some excellent coersion facts.
We got to see, first hand, how the infant adoption awarness training is sooo freaking horrible, first hand. OMG!! They LIE!!! They lie so bad that almost ANYONE would be shocked!! The materials and information that they supply is so downright gross! Like awful. I am to be given a copy of the actual training ( hint hint)..and when I do, I promise to share so you may be equally as horrified. ALl I can say is THANK GOD that the grant has ended this year..and I will fight for it to not be given again. What a waste of our tax dollars.
The afternoon speaker was Antolin Llorente and while his presentation was highly detailed and alot to take in, I was captivated. What I got out of it…a big sigh. Enough of cursing myself at 19 for not being able to see how yucky this would all be in the future..aparently our brains at late teen years are not developed enough to see long term consequences!!! OMG..It’s not my fault that I was such an idiot!!! My lobes were not done cooking…and yet, I was allowed to make a decision with long term consequences that I had no ablitiy to see myself.
Then the afternon was a screening for a documentary by a mom, about more moms..and one of them, lives right up by me!!! How exciting..another person to connect with!

The next day began with Ann Fessler. OK, I loved this woman before. I loved just that she wrote this book, then I loved her more when I read the book..now I have heard what she does..and there are no words to describe how amazing, how powerful, how heartwrenching it is to hear nothing but the true voices of moms. Go see her work, go read the book. She should win a Pulitzer Prize for what she has done.
And she is so nice..so approachable.
Actually, she is the first person I saw that morning as I jumped out of the cab by Lincoln Center..and she greeted me like an old friend as we chatted about the conference and my need for coffee. Here I am..in all my glory..standing next to Ann!! Wheeee! I haveto admit, I am an idiot. I didn;t bring my copy of Girls as it is still lent out ( KT!!!) and I was going to buy one, but after hearing her..OMG I needed to smoke! and then, they were all gone..and I didn’t get an autographed copy..poop.
After Ann..I was lost. I didn’t go to the next session of workshops..I just milled around..aimless..confused…hurt. I needed to just be with people and talk..my brain was done. I had all this insane energy..restless.. I wanted to run into the middle of Columbus Circle and scream to all about the pain and horror of what we must all indure. And you know what..being with all these women..not one of us was evil or bad or scary. Character? perhaps, but smart and funny and strong..so loving, so caring, the perfect kind of mother..yet we all were just used and taken, disguarded.
I am haunted by a mom form Chicago area..Oh, I forget her name…dammit, forgive me! She had the most haunting look..she was alone all these years..never knowing until Ann’s book was advertised on Mother’s Day that others like her existed. Her reunion had ended with her son’s suicide early this year…and now she had been exiled from his widow, her grandchildren too..yet, she was so beautiful, so kind. I hope she finds us again. Come to Origins..you are one of us!
I met the lovely Celeste Billhartz who was just the sweetest thing and could be counted on for a great hug.
And what a joy to see Michelle of the Adoption Show and give her a great big hug for her work. I loved being on the street, Michelle with her little bitty tape recorded, interviewing us all. It was an honor to tell her my story of meeting Max’s dad again..yes, I shall be back on the radio.
I had a fantastic talk with Lily Arthur from Oz..Oh I heard you Lily.. I heard you too well..and yeah, I am gonna do all I can.
Yes, I met the lovley K…daughter of MaryReunited. What a doll. And our Heather Rainbow..you would never guess the little body behind that voice..something I know she heard a million times that weekend, but indeed it is true. And her boyfrind is such a dear guy..how he put up with all us loud cackling women all weekedn is beyond me! And he holds the door open when it is locked and again we must all smoke.
Oh, I had a good laugh with some of the ladies that remember me all too early on in my journey. The ones who gave me some great kicks in the ass..Sly, Gyspsy, Gail…I hope you see now that the fence is not up my ass.
And B…who I battled with most fiercly..how great to finially met and talk. And you need to send me a copy of your re written Positive adoption langage piece..I never did get that somehow!
And Karen..the wealth of information that she is..carring around her suitcase full of maternity home memorbilia. Did you know they made commemorative SPOONS for maternity homes?? Sick!
And Joe Soll..I had never met the man before, but let me tell you, he is a dear sweet, funny man. Count me in…you cannot help but to love Joe when you met him.
Gail and Katie..what a wonderful addition to our collection. Mother and daughter newly reunited..what 14 months? And together with us…They were SO cute! And Nancy in Albany..Find me so I can give you Lobby information.
In fact all of you find me! Delurk! I say…

Yes, I tell you great things will come of this meeting. I cannot tell you yet of plans and detail, but I leave you with this…MuHahaha.