Adoption Feelings

So You Have Had a Run in with Those Anti-Adoption People

Community, Cultural Views on Adoption February 9, 2015

So You Have Had a Run in with Those Anti-Adoption People

The simple fact is that these “negative” feelings about adoption DO exist and are VERY REAL. And while I understand that society and the media and the adoption professionals have not prepared you for this, if you are choosing to enter into the world of adoption, you actually don’t get to pick and choose a version of reality that you like best. Again, you can choose not to listen and hear them, but it’s all still here. We are not making this stuff up.

A Birthmothers Life January 26, 2015

Paving a Path to Adoption

As I type this right now, it has occurred to me that I do not recall one single time when any one of my family members ever sat down with me and really asked how I was doing. Not even after I ran away and my whole family was involved in that. No wonder I was looking for love in the wrong places and I ran into the arms of that adoption agency. At least they acted like they cared and I was literally starving.

Community January 24, 2015

Get Syndicated on Musings of the Lame

I think most of us write because we have something valid to say and we do want to share our point of view. That’s important as all our voices matter, but the things is, of course, it only works if someone else actually sees our words and reads them. And that’s what syndication on MOTL can do; you WILL get more people reading your words. This isn’t about tooting my own horn, but the fact is that this site usually ranks number one nationally in Google for many relevant and important search terms. And yes, there is that simple fact that over a third of a million pages, 377,378 URLs to be exact, were seen on the site here in 2014. Most “posts” initially are seen by approximately 1000 readers. However, I can also say that I know there is a direct correlation between the number of posts and the amount of views; more posts generates way more traffic- so in this way the system continues to feed itself!

Are you in? Please?

All I Need is Your Feed

The New York Times

A Birthmothers Life, Community November 5, 2014

New York Times Reporter Interested in Talking to Birthmothers and Expectant Moms

I spent about 2 hours last week talking to Emily Brennan of the New York Times. She is looking to write a factual story about the birthmother of today. She was very nice, easy to talk to and understanding. As this piece is geared around a “modern” birth mothers; my own story and situation does not really apply. I cannot be a strong voice here. She is not looking to tell my story. She is looking to tell YOURS.

November's national adoption awaness month is like a dark cloud on the horizon

Birthmother Holidays & Adoptee Birthdays November 3, 2014

2014 National Adoption Awareness Month

National Adoption Awareness Month? It’s the curse of November gathering on the horizon of my life; the looming shadow that darkens my days of fall, ruining my Halloween, making me anxious. November follows October and onward into National Adoption Awareness Month and the time leading up to Max’s birth and my “Gotcha” days.

Avid adoption separation trauma

Costs of Adoption, Relinquishment September 22, 2014

What are the Costs of Adoption? Is Adoption Trauma?

Separating mother and child causes varying degrees of lifelong trauma for both. If you are pregnant and considering adoption for your baby, please listen to the mothers of adoption loss and more importantly, the adoptees. Educate yourself of the effect adoption will have on both of you before it’s too late.
Anyone (including agencies) that will gain if your baby is adopted will NOT inform you

Mothers, Mothering and Motherhood; Across Cultural Differences; A Reader:

A Birthmothers Life, Community July 17, 2014

The Highs and Lows of The Birthmother Chapter

Whats More Evil? The word “Birthmother” or the fights caused over it? So, while I hate, hate, hate, the adoption terminology wars and refuse to participate in them, I’m going to break my rules because I also hate, hate, hate assumptions and all the rest too. And since I was literally forced to deal with this today, rather than just enjoying the printed thrills of having my book come in the mail, I’m going to go there.

in family adoption 1966 adoptee

Guest Posts, Open Adoption Stories, Reunions & Support June 24, 2014

A 1966 Era “In Family ” Adoptee Looks Back on Childhood and Reunion and Says…

I am an adoptee given up by my birth mother in 1966. I was adopted within the family, so grew up with my biological grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins around me. I was raised being told that my mother was my “Aunt Annie”. My adoptive parents (aunt and uncle, whom I called mom and dad) were terribly insecure and once the secret was out that I knew “Aunt Annie” was no aunt to me at all, my adoptive parents became extremely controlling about my access to and communication with my birth mother.

subconscious external justification amoung birthmothers in adoption

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Relinquishment June 16, 2014

Birthmother Wars; When the Positive Fight the Negative

“This Support Group is SO Negative!”

Lately, it seems that someone who feels “Ok’ about their choice, will express displeasure at what they see as lack of support. Which pretty much ends up being another long drawn out discussion where the Polly Positives complain about the Negative Nancys and the Negative Nancys defend their right to be negative. Rinse, wash, repeat.