In 1999, the Family Research Council In conjunction with the National Council for Adoption conducted research to understand the factors involved in considering adoption and how best to present adoption as a viable option for women. The Missing Piece: Adoption Counseling in Pregnancy Resource Centers by Curtis J. Young is the result of that study.
I’m in the midst of it all: Adoption Trauma week or better known the Season of Max. So here it is; it’s November. The week from hell. Trying to remain “normal”, but feeling so very tightly strung up as if I could break or snap at any moment. Tired, impatient, restless, annoyed, teary, over excited, sad. Friday: Finish another long week, and promptly get into a stupid agreement with Rye…
Rye is a news junkie and sometimes I just have to be a pain and make him turn it off. As much as I love a good Rachel Maddow snarky fest, sometimes I just cannot take how incredible STUPID our elect politicians in Washington can be. It’s almost harder to watch their antics on TRMS or on Jon Stewart because it’s then so damn obvious how unrealistic and ideological and…
AKA How to Piss Off a Claud I haven’t felt the need to do this in a while. Usually, I don’t let other people’s comments get under my craw. After all, I have been online talking about adoption issues for ten years now and I had a rather thick skin to begin with. Rather than beat a person over the head with my beliefs, I would rather calmly state the…
“In choosing adoption they can now see themselves as good mothers, the highest form of motherhood – the mother who chooses what is best for her child regardless of sacrifice it requires of her. In doing what is best for her child, she fulfills her need to see herself as a good mother and accept the pain of relinquishment. In this way, she transforms agony of the entire story into a redemptive experience where she becomes a heroine in her own eyes and in the eyes of others.”
Current rates of adoption at most pregnancy resource centers are extremely low. Although no formal statistics exist, spot-checking adoption rates at larger centers indicate that it should rates commonly are below 1%. In 1999, the Family Research Council undertook further research to understand complex array of factors involved in considering adoption and how best to present adoption as a viable option for women.The research is designed to identify underlying factors that either inhibit or motivate the consideration of adoption in both single, pregnant women and in pregnancy counselors. The research focused on discovering the most basic impressions that women in counselors have about adoption and on the psychological dynamics of decision making concerning adoption.
The Ugly Mythology of Motherhood Today A few weeks ago, we met up with some friends who have a lovely child who is just about two. The mom and I were talking about the inevitable “terrible twos” and her concerns that her daughter hits. I was in my soothing “older mom been there done that” role and was saying how all kids hit at age two. I do call it…
If you are unsure, then take the time and view the videos.. watch them all.. and then make an opnion. She might have started on koolaid, but it wore off on her too. Part 1: Annette Baran Interview
The Us Census Ask us to Differentiate Last week, I received a very nice message inviting me to read a blog post over on Salon on the Census and Adoption, and so, I did. Then, I saw that Jenna had written another blog post herself on the same subject which was the Census and Adoption. And I read that too. Both of the posts, while one written by an adoptive mother…
I don’t know why, but the responses to my last post about my dreading with November was overwhelming to me. It wasn’t that people responded with kindness; I actually expect the innate goodness and compassion of most. It wasn’t that my feelings obviously resonate to what other moms feel during the birthday months of our relinquished children either. It was more like I was so struck at how very similar…
Adoption was almost more like a crack that happened in my soul. A crack that that I thought and was encouraged to believe that would be temporary or always below the surface. Over time, the rest of life worked it’s way in, like water in cement and caused the very foundation of myself to crumble
But adoption is different these days. Surely, you must think that open adoption is better. Adoption just not the same as what you went through. “Really?” I want to say in my best snarky roll my eyes to the god’s way, “Really? You mean human nature has changed so much that mommas actually like giving away their babies?” But there IS a change in adoption. It’s just harder to see.
Back to “normal” life, but nothing would ever be the same normal again. That was always the bit of irony about adoption. You went through this experience, this incredible perceived “sacrifice” and certainly a heartache for the ultimate plan to not have your life changed, but no one tells you how unavoidable that is. You can’t have a baby and place it for adoption with the experience changing your very…
This is hard. I hate it, but I’m coming clean. I hate that I am feel seen as some kind of super strong birthmother because I am suppose to be immune to this sort of thing in my head. Guess what..I’m human. I’m not perfect. In fact, I am probably just as messed up as everyone of us. I just hide it well. Periodically, people ask me how my reunion…
This story begins here:” How to Begin a BirthMother: Chapter 1“ As an unmet, joyful and excited couple marveled and cooed over my precious baby, now theirs.. I was then packing all my meager belongings, waiting for my mother, sad goodbyes, uncomfortable silence, more feelings of shame. As they fussed over the first diapers changed, and made happy phone calls, I was on the cold drive back..5 hours due to…