Adoption Mythology

Adoption Questions and Facts, Before Making an Adoption Plan, Community December 2, 2007

Fun on CafeMom When Infertile People Want Another Woman’s Twins

I really do not care that you think that I am overstepping my boundries. I personally feel that people who are so desperae for a baby that they troll on message boards and try to exploit women in vunerable circumstances to be predatory and unethical. Pre birth contact is considered coersive.
Of course, you would like to adopt her twins. And while I am sure that it sucks for you to be infertile, my sympathy really ends there. Sometimes in life you do not get what you want. I do not have to think of people like you.. my job is to think about moms who CAN be good mothers, who need help facing a crisis prenancy and perhaps just someone to tell them the truth.

Before Making an Adoption Plan, The Adoption Industry November 29, 2007

The National Council for Adoption:

The National Council for Adoption usually has something to say about any adoption issue. One would think they should just based on their name. After all “National Council” makes it sound as if an official governmental appointment was made. That they are the official US stance, made after long thought out meetings by a Council, on all things related to adoption. Alas, that is just a well thought out play on the name made to make one think that is what they are.

Adoption is not a gift!

Before Making an Adoption Plan, Relinquishment, The Adoption Industry November 27, 2007

Looking for that Magic Key!

In the midst of the conversation, we touched upon that just bad feeling that we both have, that we in a certain way, did this to ourselves. Though she was up here at the time, and I on LI and in NYC, being the same age, getting pregnant at the same time, having boys 5 days apart, it was the same time frame and the same social order that we experienced. The greatest difference is that I went the agency route and she fell in with a private lawyer/ private adoption. And as she said “I did this.. I found them”.
“So did I. I called my agency. I sent myself away”

Cultural Views on Adoption, Rants and Raves November 26, 2007

Movie Review: August Rush

Getting Ready to See August Rush I don’t have to say again how loopy excited I was to go see this film. Hoped for by the adoption truth lovers as THE film to get get people to understand some of the complexities of adoption separation, I ignored the fact that I spent the majority of the previous 56 hours in bed with a flu and bounced out the door. Bonnie…

A Birthmothers Life, The Adoption Industry November 26, 2007

The Origin of the Word “Birthmother”

Pearl S. Buck Uses the Term Birth Mother in 1956 The first known use of the word “birth” as a descriptive and identifiable adjective for a woman who has lost her child to adoption is attributed to Pearl S. Buck in 1956. In the June issue of Women’s Home Companion, Buck wrote a piece called “We Can Free the Children”. Buck, clearly talking about unwed mothers and the feelings of society…

Cultural Views on Adoption November 18, 2007

Drowning Sterotypes with a Cup of Tea

So Thursday afternoon I sat at my kitchen table for about 2 hours and babbled on about adoption as I do with Jesse Smith, the Ulster Publishing reporter. It was actually quite enjoyable..Jesse being a cool mellow guy that he is..and, well, I am aways pretty happy talking about adoption. Anyhoo, he seemed pretty excited about it all, was going to do some more research, was happy it was a…

The New York Times

Adoption News November 13, 2007

New York Times Blogs..

I am assuming this is something for our lovely National Adoption Awarness Month..it looks like they are running an adoption related blog everyday for the month… or i am indeed cementing my lameness by just noticing this and it is here all the time??? In anycase, worth a read.. worth a comment if you are so inclined… and I think my new favorite quote just came out of it: <…

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Relinquishment, Reunions & Support September 11, 2007

Unformed Thoughts About Denying My Motherhood

Bare with me becasue I think I am still trying to fiqure this out. After I wrote out last nights post, I was still thinking a bit about it all. Especially that conflicted feeling that I have…the thrill that Max and I do have this connection, yet coupled with the sadness that even for three seconds he felt out of place in his life. Now I have had internet “discussions”…

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Cultural Views on Adoption, Reunions & Support September 10, 2007

Core Style: The Power of Genetics in Adoption Reunions

Tristan came home today with Scholastic’s Parent & Child in his backpack. So somewhere as I put off making dinner, I did my best to ignore the sounds of Pokeman as they explode form the TV, and took a gander at this nice piece of fluff. What Make Your Child Tick? Interesting enough, I actually found an article that peeked my interest, “What Makes Your Child Tick?” and within that…

Fight Resist Rebel for good

Adoption Truth, Relinquishment September 7, 2007

How Many Mothers Must Suffer Before We Care About Adoption Loss in the USA?

Motive for death of US troops…democracy?? NO..Oil money.
Motive for the needless separation of mothers and children..save the children? No..profit from the transfer of parental rights.
Media coverage for both outrage? The war wins…though barely. Who wants to hear that depressing bit anyway? Not when we can read about Hollywood starlets behaving badly..much more amusing.

Birthmother Regrets & Lessons, Cultural Views on Adoption, Relinquishment March 17, 2007

The Promises of Adoption? They Were Wrong

The fact is..there are ENOUGH moms who relinquished who are saying…hey, it didn’t work like that. And enough adoptees say the same thing. Human nature is different than the plan and the beliefs. They were built on faulty principles Not your fault, not mine..lets blame the adoption industry. They have known for some time, they have had the information at hand, and still they kept throwing this pipe dream at us all and selling us all down a river.

You celebrate Gotcha Day, but I cry the month of November

Birthmother Holidays & Adoptee Birthdays June 11, 2006

Gotcha!

You say “Gotcha” and my mind races back to those days;with no regard to what it might be like, was like, is like. There is no room in the word “gotcha” for me. And while I can understand the feelings of joy my son’s parents had; heck, I comforted myself with the fantasy of what it was like for them..to balance it out, to give the pain some meaning, some purpose besides myself; I like to think that they did think of me..wondered too..if I was sad and feeling alone, empty. Like I thought of them..full of joy..loving my child.