By Mirah Riben If your neighbor lost his job a year after his wife died, and he had three small kids, would you “help” him by taking away his kids? If a family in your church or congregation’s house burnt down and they had no family to stay with, would you help them by adopting their infant child? Recently, Ronnie Stewart a Florida minister of the Refuge Church of New…
Help Shape OUR Birthmother Presentation; In my head, I am telling the story, presenting facts and research that supports what I am saying, with actual quotes by YOU ALL showing on the screen. I would very much to have some really good images of moms that can help break apart every possible stereotype and open that door to get them thinking more. Even if it turns out that maybe there are only six stories that get highlighted, at least it’s not just mine. So like I always say, your voices will give my presentation WAY more credibility.
I mean thank GOD that I had at least a warning that they were going to be there. Can you image if you didn’t expect your agency and they were in your face! They are just lucky that I HAD mentally prepared or the emotional side of me might have taken hold and I might not have been civil and gracious. In fact, the right thing to do on their part would have been to send me a email or note before hand, explaining that they were going to be there for their CEUs and that IF I was open to it, then they would like to take the opportunity to say hello face to face. At least that would have considered my needs and treated me like a valuable person worth of an opinion and having valid feelings. Instead, I somehow feel again like “just a birthmother” whose feelings come last and just don’t matter. That will not work for me anymore!
The three judges, two women, one man, sit behind what looks to be a cherry and oak huge bench. This bench crosses the whole length of the room, separating us and the lawyers, from the judges, from justice. I really just want to cross that divide and just be able to sit with these folks, who I see as just human beings, and tell them what has been going on in this little boy’s life. I want to plead with them to please do the right thing and make this family whole again. But the “process” means briefs and files and wait times and others who posture and dance, more hurry up to deadlines, and then wait wait wait, more wasted time, lost forever, wasted by this unethical adoption agency, in this baby’s life.
More Garbage the Pretends to “Save” Babies; There is an amendment comin’ down the pike that will make it even more difficult for a mother who may have relinquished her infant under Illinois’ Abandoned Newborn Infant Protection Act change her mind and get her child back. And will codify that the child will have a foundling birth certificate.
A Positive Change Brought about by the Justin Harris Mess; HOUSE BILL 1648 PROHIBIT PRIVATE TRANSFERS OF ADOPTED 9 CHILDREN EXCEPT TO RELATIVES If HB 1648 is passed, then Adoption Rehoming in Arkansas will be a felony!
So if out of the 14.1 billion is 100% of the revenue, adoption’s 8.2% equals $1,156,200,000.00 in revenue and out of the $380,900,000.00 in profits, adoption’s 8.2% portion results in $31,233,800.00.
Now this “adoption” category does includes both licensed agencies and unlicensed facilitators that arrange adoptions, but does NOT seem to include the attorneys and legal fees.
So REALLY if we want to sound like we know what we are talking about then Adoption services by agencies and facilitators ALONE are supposed to bring in over 30 MILLION dollars in PROFIT in 2015.
The simple fact is that these “negative” feelings about adoption DO exist and are VERY REAL. And while I understand that society and the media and the adoption professionals have not prepared you for this, if you are choosing to enter into the world of adoption, you actually don’t get to pick and choose a version of reality that you like best. Again, you can choose not to listen and hear them, but it’s all still here. We are not making this stuff up.
So what I read is a educated therapist adoption professional who SHOULD have access to all the known research of birthmother grief and is seemingly choosing to ignore it instead repeating the propaganda laden ideals of how we WANT adoption to be. The studies clearly state that our grief intensifies over time. There is no peace. A birthmother’s grief is continuous, disenfranchised and complicated. An “article” like this only serves to lead both adoptive parents and any birthmothers up to fail. This supposed two year window sets a stage where people are going to expect that grief will lessen after two years which is a direct contradiction of the research. Now granted there is limited research on birthmother grief, but that gives even more reasoning to expect that Ms. Mantell should be familiar with the facts she speaks of.
I commend Garrett Joiner and his family for effectively doing what so many cannot: they took on a forced and unethical adoption and have won. This outcome is, by my definition, BEST indeed for Baby Boy W. He is not an adoptee. These battles are horrible and heartbreaking and really do take any person’s last bit of sanity, and often, hope. Garrett Joiner, for a young man, a David, fighting the formidable Goliath has held himself up wonderfully and is a fine example and representative of natural families fighting for their parental rights in forced adoptions.
A new year is here and with that it is time to roll out the Adoptee Rights Bills to Support in 2015. Just like the 2014 and 2013 lists, this will be a living list where things like bill numbers do get updated. However, for the most recent activity on any one state’s pending legislation and needed support, please refer to the websites and Facebook pages. If you know of additional states where legislation is pending this year, please do let me know.
For the last four years, we have tried to get a bill passed in the Indiana State Legislature that would equalize adoption law for all adoptees. Year after year, powerful interests in the adoption law community have ensured that it never got out of committee. This time, it’s going to be different.
It’s obvious that American Adoptions under Scott Mars’ routine of smoke and mirrors, doesn’t take transparency and true accountability very seriously. And while perhaps Scott Mars did start his American Adoption empire with some nice misplaced foggy adoptee loyalty in the beginning, at this point and seeing all these internet marketing shenanigans, he is in so darn deep there is no way he is spared from the culpability and corruption. on the Adoption by Gentle Care and Camden case.
I knew that American Adoptions and Adoption by Gentle Care had a connection. I had, however, erroneously though that American Adoptions had come in and helped out Adoption by Gentle Care financially AFTER the whole Grayson Vaughn episode. While I had thought that the bigger national American Adoptions agency had been asked to step in and help the poor struggling Adoption by Gentle Care after the last legal fight, it’s actually the opposite that happened. American Adoptions was pretty tight in with A Adoption by Gentle Care BEFORE and DURING the Grayson Vaughn situation and it was AFTER the ruling, that American Adoptions looked to pull back and disassociate themselves publicly from AGC!
We have given them multiple outs practically on silver platter and they keep on hurting themselves and then try to blame others for their actions. Really, it’s simply a matter of choice and consequences. They choose to keep on doing the wrong thing and then the consequence of that choice is that people are critical. If you want people to stop thinking bad things about you, then perhaps a novel idea would be to STOP doing the very thing that you are being criticized for. How many times to I have to spell it out: Just give Camden back!