I wrote this some time ago as a submission to some contest some place. I have been holding on to it until today. It was ten years ago today that this happened. Last Hours of Cold She couldn’t find a freaking parking space to save her life. After all the meticulous planning and her careful timeline, she was going to be late because she couldn’t find any visitor or public…
“Hole in My Heart” isn’t light reading, but it is compelling and necessary. Perhaps it is best described as s strong dose of medicine; a strong antidote to adoption mythology, and a injection of raw honesty wrapped up in a riveting story of a life uncommon to most, much like a spoonful of sugar. The truth goes down smooth leaving needed ethical questions emerging as an aftertaste.
The arrangement Search Quest America made as Troy’s third party search provider started in 2008 and ended in early 2014. According to Troy, he has not charged anyone for doing a search since 2002 however he did receive compensation from Search Quest America as his third party search provider. This arrangement ended after the website traffic leads were diverted to his “Troy Alert” app and the requests coming in through the TroyTheLocator.com website dwindled.
I mean thank GOD that I had at least a warning that they were going to be there. Can you image if you didn’t expect your agency and they were in your face! They are just lucky that I HAD mentally prepared or the emotional side of me might have taken hold and I might not have been civil and gracious. In fact, the right thing to do on their part would have been to send me a email or note before hand, explaining that they were going to be there for their CEUs and that IF I was open to it, then they would like to take the opportunity to say hello face to face. At least that would have considered my needs and treated me like a valuable person worth of an opinion and having valid feelings. Instead, I somehow feel again like “just a birthmother” whose feelings come last and just don’t matter. That will not work for me anymore!
I felt 100 time “lighter” immediately. I actually DO feel likeit’s over. We have managed to break through the hold and restrictions that adoption has tried to put on our mother son relationship and it can’t do any more damage, Adoption, as a real threat to me and my son, is done. It’s over. It cannot hurt us anymore. The adoption industry might have tried and maybe it’s not the way I wish it had been, but that just doesn’t matter anymore because we are OK. Our connection is still there and we value it and it works.
Going back to Boston feels like going back to time. I feel like all these parts of me are swirling together but it feels good. It feels, I think, like it is supposed to. I look around my office, my house, my window, my street. I think of my home, my family, my husband, my children, my friends, my neighbors, my colleagues. I am just so beyond grateful for being here now.
Is it weird to dance and cry your face off because you are just relieved that you are actually happy?
A Positive Change Brought about by the Justin Harris Mess; HOUSE BILL 1648 PROHIBIT PRIVATE TRANSFERS OF ADOPTED 9 CHILDREN EXCEPT TO RELATIVES If HB 1648 is passed, then Adoption Rehoming in Arkansas will be a felony!
Registration is Open for CUB’s 2014 Retreat
What: Concerned United Birthparents annual Retreat
Where: Safety Harbor Resort and Spa 105 N. Bayshore Dr., Safety Harbor, FL
When: October 17th to 19th , 2014
I am an adoptee given up by my birth mother in 1966. I was adopted within the family, so grew up with my biological grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins around me. I was raised being told that my mother was my “Aunt Annie”. My adoptive parents (aunt and uncle, whom I called mom and dad) were terribly insecure and once the secret was out that I knew “Aunt Annie” was no aunt to me at all, my adoptive parents became extremely controlling about my access to and communication with my birth mother.
WHEN: Saturday, June 28th at 11: 30 a.m.
WHERE: Alfond Auditorium.
WHY: Roxbury International Film Festival; Boston, MA
WHAT: Film Premier of “You Have His Eyes”
Where: Rosendale Cafe 434 Main St.m in Rosendale, NY 12472 845.658.9048
When: June 13, 2014 – 8:00 pm
Why: An Evening with Mary Gauthier
Tickets: $20 at the Cafe ( get there early for a seat and get dinner! )
WHEN: Monday, March 24, 2014 6:00 to 7:30 p.m.
WHERE: Adoption Network Cleveland 4614 Prospect Ave, Ste 550 Cleveland, Ohio 44103
WHO: Anyone interested in volunteering with ANC in any capacity.
To get your search found by the right person should they be searching for you. There are usually three things that are identifiers in an adoption search: Sex of the adoptee, birth date and location. These three things are usually known by both parties and not likely to be altered.
Open Groups, Closed Groups and Adoption Discussion pages on Facebook for adoption support, question or just making noise and causing trouble. There are a whole slew of adopting groups and pages on Facebook, if you can’t find one that fits your needs, then you are just not social!
“Building Bridges for Change”
When: April 9th to 13th, 2014
Where: Parc 55 Wyndham San Francisco – Union Square 55 Cyril Magnin Street San Francisco CA 94102
Who: American Adoption Conference
Bonus: I’ll be there!