The Ugly Mythology of Motherhood Today A few weeks ago, we met up with some friends who have a lovely child who is just about two. The mom and I were talking about the inevitable “terrible twos” and her concerns that her daughter hits. I was in my soothing “older mom been there done that” role and was saying how all kids hit at age two. I do call it…
Honestly, really. I think I should get paid off for relinquishing Max to adoption. The happy fuzzy feelings from relinquishment and my adoption counseling has worn off. It’s been gone for years now. Instead, I think maybe getting at least some cash for the years of pain and suffering won’t do any good in getting back what I lost, but nothing ever will. At least, I could get some new…
My Dear President, First, I must thank you. For the first time in long 8 years, I can admit that I do again have a president. I like that I can feel proud to be an American again. We have been waiting for you. Now I know you have too many things on your plate right now and in the scheme of things, what I ask from you probably will…
Judgement. Choices. Lack of True Choice. Variations of this theme have been running through my head for a long time. To some the birth mother is a saintly figure. Wise. Sacrificing. Selfless. A builder of Families. A deliverer of dreams come true. Adoptive families want to thank her. Poor girl, she is just in a sad situation, but through her wisdom she can make the best of the situation and…
It’s kind of funny, considering that it is me, but I have been volunteering all over the place for Tristan’s and Scarlett’s school. The last week has been all about the PTA Holiday Gift Shoppe… Yup, running the holiday gift shoppe. Yup, the PTA. But, it’s been fun and I can do it one handed. And it’s good for all these kids, it’s good for the school, and people really…
I will confess my initial desire was to remove this from the “most popular” front page line up. I don’t want to talk about this really. I don’t want to have to open myself up to be judged and have nasty comments said again, but then, I realized that my desire was out of shame and fear. Mostly shame; not shame that I had this abortion, but that the possible reactions I feared triggered possible shame.
I know that this is one of the reasons we have so many issues, legislative restrictions and lack of viable options when it comes to safe and legal abortion services in this country is because of that shame. Having an abortion is something we still speak of in hushed tones. Oh, granted, no one should be out celebrating and for the most part it is a private matter, so what other folks think about it shouldn’t matter, but even among friends, we whisper. So while, my gut says take this post down, I know I cannot. I owe it to the women who have gone before me who have died in back alleys and fought for our rights to have legal safe abortions and I owe it to the women who will come after me who will still need to have the right to have legal safe abortions if they so need to. I owe it to my daughter to know that we have to stand up and not be afraid to be counted even if others might be mean to us.
Yes, I “decided” to lose my child. Yes, I was “very sure”. Yes, technically, I had ‘other options’, but in my heart, in my head..there was no other option just this thing that I must do for us both. I believed what I was told. I wanted to believe it since at least believing it gave me some hope. Of abortion, of parenting..both were dark and cold as seen by me. My views were skewed. Our lives at stake. And I was in no position to make this life long decision. Yes, I needed to be protected from myself.
Allot of us knew that it was going to happen. The way this current administration was so busy taking about family values. Georgie W speaking of the government funding maternity homes in the presidential debates. The ban of funding towards stem cell research, but over a million dollars going to funding embryo adoptions at Snowflakes in California. Aggressive and mandatory adoption awarness training for any place that provide abortions. The…
I am really am sorry that there was too much angst for you to feel like you could hear the message behind “anti-adoption” sentiment. You sound like a very sincere person and like one I personally would like to have on the side of fighting for human rights.
Sometimes things are just not controllable Birth control is not infallible. Some infertility is not fixable. Hyper fertility is not always fixable either. I do my best to control it, but all I need is one sperm. You know, they are really, really little. Kinda hard to find and catch sometimes. Slippery little buggers with only one thing on their mind. In over 20 years, I missed 8. I have a normal sex life…how many of those guys have I seen a week, a year, in the past twenty years? Eight out of 200 million kabillion is NOT a bad ratio.
A proposed federal bill to provide grants for pregnant & parenting students, prospective parents anticipating a birth or adoption, and students who are placing or have placed a child for adoption.
Adoption made me welcome in constant sorrow. Once welcomed, there is no turning it away like some unwanted guest who stays too long. I had wanted to live my life, but instead I gave it away and the loss of my son cut though my life like a bright red marker carving a path for me to follow.
Adoption as a Solution to Crisis Pregnancy The following is a collection of post recounting my experience as a teenage mother and how I found myself in the situation where I placed my infant son for adoption. It is wholly based on my current memories and my writings of that time of my pregnancy and relinquishment, and while I might be off on some things due to memory lapse, it…