Reunion Contact

Adoption Reunion Rejection

Adoption Research & Statistics, Reunions & Support July 21, 2013

Numbers in Adoption Reunions; How Many People Get Told NO?

I have had a few people tell me that I should stop saying it because by perpetuating that reunion rejection by a birthmother is rare, then it sets up adoptees for disappointment when they are rejected. I can understand that. Yet, as I tried to explain, the factual research that I have available DOES really indicate that less than 1% of relinquishing mothers opt for no contact when given the choice.Of course, we do face the fact that any adoption research is never 100% accurate due to the fact that there is no one agency that oversees or even counts the numbers of adoptions and would enable the entire population of people affect by adoption to be counted.Yet, I would say that about half the adoptees I know struggle with have an nonexistent or unsatisfactory relationship with their found mothers. Why such a difference?

Adoptees Searching with Social Media Need help

Community, Searches July 18, 2013

Adoptees Wanted for Social Media Search Exposure

Do you know adoptees searching, either using the Facebook images, preferably with many shares and attention, or willing to go social, who are emotionally ready and willing to go public? Who really needs the help with exposure? Who can handle the sensation filming? Who can represent?

The Boston Bombing COuld HAve Been my Worst Fears! Not Knowing...

A Birthmothers Life June 8, 2013

Birthmother’s Nightmares

Every time there is an unspeakable tragedy on the news, a tornado, a building collapse, a fire, a school shooting; birthmothers across the country who think their child might have physical ties to that place, worry. We worry because we do not know and many have no way of finding out. If something terrible would happen, I would wait and wonder forever. Maybe my child did get hurt during hurt Boston marathon bombings? I would never know.

Guest Posts, Reunions & Support, Searches March 7, 2013

Relationship Tests to Unite Relatives

There are many heart wrenching cases of children wanting to be reunited with their biological parents or relatives wanting to know whether they are truly related to a person they suspect to be their blood relatives. These people simply want and need answers to be able to find that inner peace. The not knowing who you are or where you came from can be a very distressing, life long experience.

Finding a Gave aty the end of an adoption search is so sad.

A Birthmothers Life, Searches March 6, 2013

Born Baby Wagner, Died Alyssa Rachael Toner

I did not know Alyssa Toner. What I do know, though, is that Alyssa was searching and cannot finish her search. She made the video, but it does not show up in searches for her birth date. The article about her adoption birthmother search does not seem have been published. The news stories about her death, do, right now, but as time passes, news articles like these get achieved and fall way down on the search rankings. Maybe her search will be forgotten completely. Maybe her account will be taken down, the video eventually deleted and, if her birthmother ever does decide to search, she will never find anything at all.

The message will be lost.

Secondary adoption reunion rejection hurts

Adoption Koolaide & Birthmother Denial, Adoption Questions and Facts, Reunions & Support, Searches November 6, 2012

Secondary Adoptee Rejection in Adoption Reunions

No one is trying to find their birthmothers to throw stones or cast blame, yet on that emotional level we have to acknowledge that the adoptee can feel rejected by the act of adoption placement whether voluntary or forced. It doesn’t matter how they can now, as adult, intellectualize the circumstances of their relinquishment, the child inside still knows the pain and that child wants it’s mother. There is an innocence there in this need to reconnect. It is pure feeling.

genetic sexual attraction out of the adoption reunion shadows

Adoption Questions and Facts, Reunions & Support October 25, 2012

The Risk of Genetic Sexual Attraction for Adoptees and Birth Parents in Reunions

“Parent and child go through a very complex bonding process from the beginning of life to the first six years,” she said. “They go through phases and in the teen years, they separate. That whole process goes dormant until they reunite as adults. It’s almost like it awakens back the recognition in that the other person is a mirror of yourself.” DeNeen said she felt like she was regressing back to childhood, falling in love and looking to her dad as a hero. “I felt a lot of need for intimacy,” she said. “The lines were so blurry.” But she makes it clear that she never had sexual intercourse with her father, even though the relationship was “very inappropriate.” And like others who experience GSA, she crossed physical boundaries that were “embarrassing, confusing, amazing and overwhelming,”

Research into adoption surrender documents

Adoption Research & Statistics, Reunions & Support October 8, 2012

Ongoing Adoption Reunions

This article describes the expectations, responses to unmet expectations, and factors that influence adoption reunion outcomes. Themes derived for interviews with 10 adult adoptees and 10 birth mothers who had each experienced an adoption reunion beyond an initial face-to-face meeting are reported.

Reunions & Support February 25, 2010

All is Right in My Adoptionland

After living years without knowing if your child lives or dies, much less what their name is who they look like and anything else, reunion is so often seen as the great holy grail that removes all the former yucky stuff and makes it into a thing of the past. Live it long enough, however, and we learn that adoption can never really be in the past and it’s so the “gift” that keeps on giving. More new situations arise. New emotions develop. Still no road map and I doubt anyone is immune.

Reunions & Support April 27, 2007

Fine Art Post Adoption Reunion

Scarlett drew this for me. I adore how she just has fully embraced that Max is her brother. He just gets included..automatically. It does’t matter that she never met him, I mean it does, but not in her love and inclusion of him.

Reunions & Support March 12, 2007

More Pictures from an Adoption Reunion

Ann Fessler and Me:   Me, Celeste, Heather and Bernadette at the ACC 2007 Conference:   Oh, you weren’t interested in seeing pictures form the American Adoption Congress Conference  You were looking for reunion pictures?

Adoption March 9, 2007

Meeting My Adopted Son For the First Time

It is amazing of course. He is amazing..of course. It is just as I know it will be. We are just hanging and out and talking like we are great close pals that have not see each other in…forever…but we know each other..even though we don’t. We have a lot of catching up to do. Nothing is an elephant. Nothing is taboo. It’s all good…our feelings so similar..how we take it in..same. We talk about it all…past his life my life parents, siblings…it just IS. We sit and list the same things about us…..our favorite foods, asking questions…marvel and degree Nature as the clear winner…kicking nurtures ASS big time. And yeah, we finish each others sentences…at least once…and what a doozie!!

Access Massachusetts Adoptee Rights OBC

A Birthmothers Life, Reunions & Support March 8, 2007

My Son is Twenty Five Miles Away…

It was funny..people were very “ohhhh” and “ahhh” over my going to met Max tomorrow. But surprised that I was just going alone to see him?? And they would ask, “who is going with you? Don’t you have support?” and I was like…yeah, I’m here..what else do I need?? I don’t need someone to hold my hand when I do it, though maybe a photographer would be cool, but I want to have the time to process it afterwards and have others be thrilled for me..so what better place than a adoption conference?