In the Dark of Night, A Family Shattered
I clung to a small parcel of hope that perhaps there would be decency and justice for Veronica Rose Brown and her father Dusten Brown. I knew it was a long shot. The adoption machine is so very strong in this country, a true evil or corruption and baby buying, of entitlement, or pure desires. I knew that the decks had been stacked against any hope of that Dusten Brown would be able to prevail and actually get the opportunity to raise his daughter. I think I always knew this day was coming, but I had hoped, oh, I had hoped.
I hoped that with so many people galvanized to truly SAVE Veronica Rose from the horrible fate that we saw, that with the power of the Cherokee Nations, with laws on their side, with the media attention to the case, with the undisputed facts and court rulings and two years of successful parenting with her real family that Matt and Melanie Capobianco would eventually just give up and go away as they should. I hoped they would go off and buy another baby, but no, now that hope is lost.
All Hope for Veronica Brown Lost; She Has Been Taken, She Has Been Failed
Yesterday, the OK courts lifted the temporary stay and the “prize” was returned to her rightful owners. After all they wanted her more, they paid more, they fought more, they had more purchased influence on their side, they lied more, they cheated more, they played a dirtier game from the beginning. It is my understand that the US Marshals to physically TAKE Veronica away from her family and there was, as in so many “adoptions” no choice, but let it happen. It was not tribal land. Dusten Brown could have been shot, so he gave in and faced the horrible reality of watching his daughter be taken away.
They might think they have won, but in the end, all have lost.
Another Slave Bought by Adoption
I am so sad for Veronica; having to leave her family, her home, with no one in power looking out for her best interest, her right to be with her family. She is four years old; she will remember.
I am even sad and pity the horrible and pathetic Capobiancos who will not be happy with what they have “won”. Do they think gifts and cookies with help this child get over her trauma? Do they really think that they will have a happy child who loves them and is grateful for their desires, for the fight they played out for ownership of her? Veronica should never be out of therapy now. This is what they have damned her to. Either she will become a complacent adoptee living out to meet their expectations because that is the way of her survival; another victim of adoption Stockholm Syndrome. Or she will find her “Angry Adoptee” early on. She will be angry and fight them, push them away, act out, and never give in. Will they put her on medication by age 6? Perhaps a camp for special adoptees having issue by age 12? Will she start running away by age 16? Will she survive?
That is the final hope now; that Veronica will survive the next 14 years trapped in an adoptive home she never needed. Bought by selfish people who “choose” her. Sold by her mother for a new car and vengeance. And ripped away from a father who fought for her. Veronica is now nothing more than another slave to adoption; bought and sold like chattel. Failed by a system that pretends to protect her. No more rights than a puppy bought at a mill.
There Will Be No Open Adoption
I am sure that the Capobiancos will be completely justified in it, but the fact is Dusten Brown will probably never see his daughter again. They now have possession of her and with South Carolina erroneously breaking their own laws and granting the adoption in July, they have complete legal control. They can continue to do what they want and I am sure they will. Open adoptions are not legally binding at all in South Carolina and they sure didn’t not show any good faith before this all went down. Even before this was a national media case, before the Supreme Court used bias in their ruling, they denied Dusten Brown any visits to his daughter and even the willing Christy Maldonado only saw her daughter twice in the two years Veronica was in their care.
And what can Dusten do now? Just play the game of being a willing grateful birthfather. Now he must suck it up like so many of those false Open Adoptions had had to do before and put on his happy face, pretend to “move on.” If he speaks about his anger or pain, he will be cut out. If he tries to do any more, he will be cut out. If he even looks at them the wrong way, he will be cut out. But, let’s face it.. he will be cut out anyway. He will be lucky if he gets pictures once a year.
No Happily Ever After for Veronica Brown
The Capobiancos will move, get an unlisted number, and use their money to pay for anonymity. They will surround themselves and Veronica by a wall of lies. They will tell her stories until she forgets what is real and what is not. They will buy her shiny trinkets and trips to Disney world, slowly teaching her that money is all that matters, that money can buy false happiness.
But she is now four and she will remember. Oh perhaps Veronica will learn to bury the pain like so many of us do, but it will sit there, deep inside and grow. The heat of her scorched life will not go out, but smolder slowly, the embers waiting until the light of day can fan the flames of truth. No this is not something I wish on her, this is something we all know.
The AdoptionLand Community Mourns
I had a bad feeling last night. The calls went out. It felt like the end times. There was a hint of desperation in the air. I walked away from the computer, could not watch the train wreck, could not sit helpless in New York, while insanity prevailed in Oklahoma. I tried to sleep.
I had dreams all night. Long disturbing dreams where I was anxious. I felt my heart race. I woke up often, tried to unclench my neck muscles relax my balled fists tell myself it was only a dream, don’t cry.
I didn’t want to wake up this morning. The anxiety of the long night had me in its grip. I felt both depressed and uneasy. I put the blankets over my head and cried. My heart missed beats, then shuttered. I had to focus on breathing, slow and steady. I was going to hyperventilate and did not know why. Waves of grief and sadness, panic even, swept upon my shores. So, I stayed in bed, and tried to breath though it, accept whatever I was feeling even though I did not quite know why.
I am thinking now that it was the collective grief of AdoptionLand hitting me while I slept. A collective consciousness of sadness. My inner geek girl can only find this Star Wars quote to explain it:
“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.”
Yes, something terrible has happened. Veronica Rose Brown has been lost to the destruction of Adoption.
“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
‘A collective consciousness of sadness.’ <——- Yes, this.
Thank you for this beautifully written outpouring of emotion. It's not literally happening to me, and yet, I feel it and I stand with you.
Thank you for all the coverage you’ve done on this case. It is appalling that all were powerless to stop this travesty. I was hoping that justice would prevail for this child. When they witness this child’s grief they should be ashamed of themselves and give her back to her family rather than put her through this pain. Sadly, I hold out no hope of them sacrificing their wants and entitlement for the child they claim to love. I am disgusted by these people and outraged at what they have stolen from this child.
You are spot on. I know a lot of people poo poo on the idea of adoptees being unhappy..like.. wondering how that is possible. I’m a happy-with-my-upbringing adoptee, but I’m increasingly UNhappy about adoption practices and the lack of father’s rights, and not so much in THIS case, but the immense pressure and lack of support for natural mothers…. I always assumed both of my natural parents signed off and were fine with giving me up for adoption. My life was a “gift” ..and I was a “gift” .. But now I can’t say for sure. Now I see this more as a mom and less as a child. And I’m j-j-j-jaded by it all. All of it. And especially these modern cases of jilted fathers. I just don’t get it. I’m only recently “unblinded” in this realm. And I feel like a fool for placing so much faith in the system before, for trusting that everything was kumbaya and sunshine. Naive is an understatement. Bleh. This all sucks.
P.S. I love your blog. I don’t know you. And this might sound silly. But I feel really connected to you, like we’d be great buds.
P.S. again. I recently read a blog about.. if you REALLY want to support birth moms, take them in, actually support them and treat them like family. Help them be a mom so that they DON’T have to give their child up for adoption. I can’t remember where I saw it. I really want to pin it to my adoption pinboard.
All of us who are devastated by this seem to be having the same physical symptoms. My heart rate has been running too high these last few weeks (likely endocrine) but today it was soaring so high, I was sent for an emergency CT scan to rule out a pulmonary blood clot. I was in that machine, thinking about Veronica and the Brown family, knowing that my following of this tragedy had caused me to manifest an actual biological reaction to the news. Of course, there was no blood clot. I am home but my heart still races. And if this is the way I feel, I cannot even imagine the condition of that little girl, her father, her poor grandfather! This story has been so devastating to me–what can we do? What can we really do? I know we are all in shock and stunned at the moment…but omg…I cannot rest.
My heart breaks for this poor family, and that Tommy Brown’s heart actually broke when they lost their granddaughter.
The internet is a powerful thing and she will be able to find out what happened to her and her family.
I hope they don’t medicate her, or god forbid re-home her because she isn’t this perfect little package they bought.
I hope that Dusten and Robin, Tommy and Alice and especially Kelsey get to stay in her life in some way.
I think about your , Claudia and how they crave to be with their big brother Max, and my heart breaks for this family and all the families that lost children before and all of the families that will lose their children in the future.
Fourteen years is a long time, but I hope it isn’t forever.
Peace to little Veronica and too all who are missing someone tonight.
I think about your kids, Claudia and how they crave to be with their big brother Max, and my heart breaks for this family and all the families that lost children before and all of the families that will lose their children in the future.
I found my angry adoptee later in life, it took a long time, to realize the damage that had been done to me. I worked so hard to keep Veronica home in OK. I made calls, wrote letters, learned to use twitter, facebooked…. I held out hope that we could get it done, we could save her from this fate. I held out hope for a miracle. I was numb last night and most of today. I have retreated into my old adoptee survival mode. Just keep moving forward and push the pain aside. But the angry adoptee in me won’t let me do that this time. Now I’m really pissed, really angry, and I want REFORM and I want it NOW. I & my fellow adoptees might be the worst nightmare of the C’s and the adoption industry has ever seen. We came together for a cause… 1 girl, but now we are going to take down and industry… the adoption industry.
Where can I sign up. Federal adoption laws, stating Outlawing private adoptions.
I want all of these things to happen, now I have to figure out how to make it happen.
We need to become the steamroller and crushes the adoption industry out of existence.
But this can’t be the end? I’m not sure why so many people speak as if this is final and everything is over and she’s theirs until she’s 18.
All that happened was that the “stay” was lifted. Dusten had to choose to either have his daughter taken away at gunpoint, or hand her over peacefully. Since he’s a decent dude (unlike the sick couple who put him in that position in the first place), he chose the latter.
Veronica had her basic human rights denied. It may take a while like the rest of the legal processes have, but she will have her best interests heard. Certain appeals were already in progress before yesterday, and more appeals are happening. As explained by Dusten’s lawyer, this adoption will continue to be fought on grounds other than the ICWA.
It’s my understanding that this is far from over. They can’t go on denying Veronica her human rights for much longer, especially since the UN has spoken up on that matter. The wannabianco’s can play house for now but really I think they’re screwing themselves over even further.
Am I wrong to think this isn’t a final thing? Maybe I’ve misunderstood somethings. Maybe not. Would love some further insight.
Andrea,
I don’t think any judge would move Ronnie again. I fear that she is with the Crapobiancos until she is 18, unless she is given the opportunity to make her own decision as to who SHE wants to live with at age 12. But I don’t see that happening since the Crapos are now her only legal parents.
Thank you for speaking out about this. As an adult adoptee I feel tremendous sorrow and helpless rage at this despicable act of removing a child from her loving home.
I think you mean the c’s “believe”, they will be justified, not that they will be or are.
I am so gutted by what’s happened, because of how close to home it hits, which just intensifies the outrage, the anger, the heartache, the brokenness that is a natural result when one knows of injustice, that I am speechless, having to force myself to communicate at all.
I am trying to focus on the fact that I am 99% sure she isn’t going to grow up with them the next 14 years, 9 maybe, but no more. I have my reasons for this I wont go into so as to not come off crazy.
I believe in justice, even though it may be delayed, and I know the agony in being wronged, and having to wait, year after year after year, for justice, wavering in hope, fearing at times it wont come, or that it wont happen while I’m here on earth. My heart goes out to Dusten and Veronica and her entire, violated true family. I pray that it wont be much longer before ultimate justice is served.
This news has rocked so many of us to our core. It is triggering – oh so triggering.
Perhaps this is the cost of finally getting the attention of how bad the adoption industry really is? If not, what will it take? More deaths? This must not be the end. This must not be forgotten. The monster known as Adoption cannot keep winning and destroying families.
Everyone,
Whether you are attending a rally tomorrow, Friday, September 27th, or not, let’s all wear PINK to show our support for Veronica.
I honestly believe that Dusten will continue to fight, but only relented at this point to avoid traumatizing Veronica with a potential forced removal. With the legalities of the adoption paperwork itself now under scrutiny, there is no way it could stand up to a full legal challenge.
I do not doubt that the Crapobiancos have no intention of allowing Veronica contact with her father. Given their desire for “privacy” and the fact that nobody has heard a word from them in days, I have a feeling they’re dealing with a very traumatized and enraged preschooler and they can’t have the media seeing her miserable. It would shatter their whole “happy family” bullshit completely. And if Veronica sees her father, whether it be Skype or even a phone call, any work they do to get her compliant and in line would be obliterated to dust. He’s a threat, no matter what. They will make sure he never sees her again, even if he kissed their toes and acted like the nice and compliant sperm donor they want him to be.
This whole case has been a massive rape of the justice system, the rights of fathers and the rights of children. I’m sure the Crapobiancos and the state of South Carolina are hoping that this whole case fades into the ether, but rest assured, the nation and world will be reminded daily of this injustice until Veronica is back with her father.
Like you, Claudia, until this happened, I don’t think I realized how much I had hoped that somehow Veronica would be able to stay with her father. Of course I knew how relentless the adoption machine is, and yet I still had that hope.
I’m a BSE adoptee who’s in a truly amazing reunion with my father, who never knew about me until I was 26. I’m his only child. We are so alike; there’s been no one in my life I’ve been able to talk with the way I do with him. We talk every day on the phone. And yet last week, rather than reaching out, I ignored all his calls and just retreated with my grief inside myself.
Adoption. Where the pain is so pernicious and all-encompassing it can make one shut out even the very person who shares that pain with you. My heart breaks for Veronica.
I have watched this horror from afar. The loss is also to the Cherokee nation as well. I am so angry with Capabiancos. They are not true parents. If they were at the first whiff of Dunsten Brown wanting to raise Veronica they should’ve packed her things a driven her to his door. Adoption should be a last resort. Never never never a prize to win and take from her biological family. The Capabiancos have proven they never had her best interests at heart. They will find to their own perfect misery from this.