Yeah…I just did it. Like just…as in I am still out of breath from running back up the stairs.
I just informed Scarlett and Tristan about Max. No premable, no planning, and no book.
Inspired by Suz’s, I suddenly just had the urge. And I resisted for about 10 minutes.
And we are hanging out, sitting on the kitchen floor, in front of the dishwasher, drawing on the MagnaDoodle. And they had me doing a picture of a shopping cart (whatever??) with Scarlett as a baby in the seat, and Tristan in my belly, then we added Tristan, outside me, and then Daddy amd Garin…and we called it family shopping..and I could not lie anymore.
That was the end of the rope. Well actually, what cinched it was when Scarlett started talking about who was born first..and then, suddenly, it was time.
So I got out all my albulms..Max’s baby pics from the two days, and his first year updates, and the parent profile albulm..and I told them.
Scarlett..she got it. Understood that she has three brothers. Her first reaction was “Oh, isn’t that amazing??” Tritan…he wanted to really keep on drawing. But the real hit was..the baby picture of Max’s naked butt. He really liked the picture of his butt and kept on looking in the albumn for his butt picture. And then they both laughed like goons.
I explained adoption, simply to Scareltt..Tristan being lost in buttland..and she seemed a bit sad, but accepting. Of course, wanted to know WHEN he would be coming to visit and if then “he will show us his butt?” To which I explained, “No” that he was almost a grown up now, but he is her big brother and he would see her soon.
“Before String?”
“No dear, Spring starts..check calender..today, but I think before Summer”
“OK”
She saw pics of is “other Mommy and Daddy” and she dug their wedding photos. We looked at him growing up the first year and she explained all the pictures to me. OK.
And that’s it. It’s done.
Another monkey off my back.
I feel lighter.
Bless you, kiddo. That’s the way to do it – instinctively.
You done real good 🙂
Enjoy the incredible lightness of being all your kids’ mom.
Awesome 🙂 Now there are going to be all *sorts* of funny (and sometimes awkward and weird, sometimes all at once) conversations.
Oh Claud… I’m glad. Will you keep us updated about how they process this is in the next few weeks/months?
Oh yes..I shall keep you all informed. It should be interesting. I am betting that there is a good chance that Scarlett will confused the heck out of her teachers tomorrow.
Wow, great job!
Never been in your shoes, but I can imagine how hard it must have been.
Woohoo!
I am so glad you did this Claud. My two oldest boys knew about K. My baby Missy tho.. her dad (my ex-husband) told her about K when she was just 7, he told her I didn’t love her and left her in an orphanage. So many tears and so much pain for her and me. The first thing she said (well, screamed at me actually) was “You go get my sister right now!” It was heartbreaking, I never hid this from anyone, and was simply waiting for her to be a little older.. *sigh* the best intentions. It took me weeks to get her to understand all of it Nowdays life is pretty good for all of us tho.. And yes there will be odd conversations at odd moments..
And you did it so incredibly well too.
glad i was able to help. funny what can happen from a blog posting, huh? a butterfly effect?
i totally understand and completely agree with the lighteness feeling. for me, i subscribed to the nike motto – just do it. so I did. seems like you did too.
too often the fear is more crippling and damaging than the actual discussion or any judgement and thoughts that come afterwards.
my kids are/have been fine with it. well, you read that!
big hugs.
Yeah…so nicely done!
That is awesome Claud! I am so glad you have now shared this with all your children, and so much on their level.
I have a feeling though that when they neet Max they are going to ask to see his butt though.
I just smiled big smiles. Will he show us his butt? I love children.
Keep us updated.
So far Nicholas just says GAHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHH when we talk about the Munchkin.
Congratulations, Claud! I know everyone’s situation is different, but I still hang on every word of posts like this, knowing that someday it will be my turn…
Thanks for sharing this, and thanks ahead for keeping us updated!
Claud, well done!
I’m very proud of you. I know this was really hanging over your head.
Isn’t it funny how you would be afraid of telling little children something like that? Like they would reject you….but i can only imagine how afraid you were. It was brave and very smart to tell them now. My friend waited too long – her daughter was a teenager and didn’t take it well. My biomoms two girls were told at 10 and 13 and the one who was 13 when told (26 now) does NOT like me or wants anything to do with me. Maybe it’s hard on her because she’s really not the oldest….or thinks her mother must love me more —i don’t know….I’m sure you’re glad it’s out! Good for you!
Yay for that! Good job!
hmmm, this is something I’m struggling with right now – my 25 yr old son just found me a month ago (and he’s such a great guy!), and my 7-yr old daughter (such a great gal!) does not know about him yet. The thing I’m struggling with is that my son is leaving for school in another country, he’ll be away for 3-4 yrs, so I’m not sure if it’s better to tell my daughter now or when my son is done school and on the same continent so she can meet him. To add another twist, I divorced my daughter’s dad about a year ago, and she has come through it all much better than I could have anticipated, however she has become a bit clingy and likes to say things like “my mommy, just mine” as she gives me a big hug. She’s just recently gotten back a sense of stability, so I struggle with the idea of another big change for her now versus the risk that she’ll resent me if I don’t tell her sooner than later. I’d love to get others’ thoughts about this. ps thank goodness there are all these online discussions now – this is so much better than when I was a scared 15 year old pregnant and with nobody to talk to…..I’m so glad you are all brave enough to share your similar issues like this.