One of Max’s bands is playing a show this weekend. I got the invite, though I have to wonder if it didn’t just go out to everyone.
I mentioned it to Garin who is very sure of the fact that HE WANTS TO GO. Or, rather, he says “we are going”.
Never mind that I am slated to work, never mind that I would have to send the other two to grandma’s, never mind that we would spend about 9 hours in the car to travel. He wants to go and wants to bring his pal Bucky too.
So I sent a quick note to Max, repeating that Garin was very much interested, and have yet to hear anything back. If he replied with equal excitment, then I might have to go through all the never minds and just make it happen..somehow, but if he does not jump on it, then I cannot.
It is a hard place to be. I can imagine being in his presence..with his peers,hearing his music..pure bliss, but then there is the part of me that knows that I cannot do this move before he is ready, without his blessings, without his enthusism. I cannot just appear. Though I would like to think that he would think it is very cool..what if it is not that way.
Fear holds me back.
And yet, the needs and desires of my other child equally pull me. I want to give my cildren what they want. I want to give them to each other. I have a new picture of Max today and I was dumbstruck by the similarities of them.
I am continually amazed.
What to do, what to do?
Well, if it is too much for him to have you there, he can let you know. He did send the invite and you have responded in a way that doesn’t put pressure should he find it a bit overwhelming. It’s great that his brother is so keen to know him. I get really sad when I hear about siblings that don’t want to meet, and then the one who didn’t grow up in the family feels left out. It’s also great that you can share this with your children rather than have the burden of a secret. It’s great that it’s all coming together,my advice not that you ask but my advice is to keep going how you are going. You have a good approach.
Reunion will do that to you – amaze you over and over. I took photos of both my sons at the same ages and matched them up. Blew me away!
I have this feeling that Max is going to tell you he wants you to come, but, maybe not for awhile. But, I think you need to make sure it is what Max wants. As much as you want to please Garin, Max needs to come first in this. I think how you begin your relationship with him is really important. So, I think you are right to tread lightly. If he says he wants you to come and you make sure he really does though – do whatever it takes!
That’s this mama’s take on the situation!
I continue reading your blog daily and dang I am in awe of your talent, Claud – you are so eloquent and can really touch the heart!
Your boys do look alot alike. Dylan looks alot like his older brother but he and his younger sister literally could be twins they look so much alike. (they are two years apart)
I think since he sent you an invite it would be okay to go, but I would wait to hear back from him and see what he says. I think “meeting” in that type of enviroment would be “safe”, especially with your younger son with you.
i go all ways with this post but definitely agree on your approach – confirm with him. it might actually be a good SAFE way to first meet. no pressure, just you there. good luck
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