Why the Adoption Establishment Annoys the Heck Out of Me

TOPICS:
A Pox on the Adoption Industry

February 29, 2012

Loving Land of Gazillion Adoptees “Unofficial” Adoption Blog Week!

I got Kevin’s secret message Secret message for other bloggers about the week of February 26th, aka, “Why the adoption establishment annoys the heck out of us” Blog Week. It really wasn’t that secret. I’m liking the idea that if enough of us participate, then it goes from “Unofficial” to “Official”

 

The adoption establishment annoys the heck out of me for a multitude of reasons. I think that’s clear to most readers who come to Musings of the Lame. I’m usually gripping about something or another regarding adoption.

However, this is not just general “Adoption” or even my favorite enemy “Adoption Industry”. Kevin asked specifically about the ESTABLISHMENT and that, to me, means something a bit different. To me, it means these that are ESTABLISHED in the adoption industry. Much like darling Margie has described in her contribution on Third Mom.

So who is the Adoption ESTABLISHMENT?

And it’s every member agency, attorney, professional social worker, professional researcher, educator, writer, expert, speaker etc. who dares to do what they do and think what they think without ASKING the OPNION of those who LIVED IT.

I don’t think that everyone above is the devil. I know that some really mean well and not in THEIR way, but more in MY way. But for everyone else who IGNORES THE ONLINE ADOPTION COMMUNITY and does NOT take us seriously as PROFESSIONALS in adoption..I’m more than annoyed.

And they don’t care about the very people they claim to want to help. If they did then every bloody agency and lawyer and professional would have a link to Adoptee Rights on their site. Then they would not be trolling  for fresh babies on Facebook. They would not be teaching people to write “Dear Birthmother” letters.

I don’t care how long you have worked in adoption, or studies, or how much money you have made. If you ignore the very people who live this as the real and true experts, then you suck. That’s all there is to it. You just suck.

ADOPTION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE CHILD

They are called ADOPTEES.

They grow up. LISTEN TO THEM. THEY ARE THE EXPERTS of what is good and right and.. OMG BEST.

Anyone who calls an unhappy adoptee “angry” just to be able to dismiss them. Or a mother “unbalanced” because relinquishment has broken her very soul. You do way more than annoy me. You grind the very gears of my life.

You make me want to poke sharp sticks in my own ears and eyes so I am blind and dumb to your cruelty! I want to shake you and scream and then I am more angry because I am not a violent person and you have made me blind deaf and not myself in anger.

The adoption establishment annoys me because they ignore those who have lived though the very industry that they have both created and perpetuated and profited from.

And that. Is just. Wrong.

***

 

Other Unofficial “Why the adoption establishment annoys me” Blog Week participants are:.
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About the Author

Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan DArcy
Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy has been online and involved in the adoption community since early in 2001. Blogging since 2005, her website Musings of the Lame has become a much needed road map for many mothers who relinquished, adoptees who long to be heard, and adoptive parents who seek understanding. She is also an activist and avid supporter of Adoptee Rights and fights for nationwide birth certificate access for all adoptees with the Adoptee Rights Coalition. Besides here on Musings of the Lame, her writings on adoption issue have been published in The New York Times, BlogHer, Divine Caroline, Adoption Today Magazine, Adoption Constellation Magazine, Adopt-a-tude.com, Lost Mothers, Grown in my Heart, Adoption Voice Magazine, and many others. She has been interviewed by Dan Rather, Montel Williams and appeared on Huffington Post regarding adoption as well as presented at various adoption conferences, other radio and print interviews over the years. She resides in New York’s Hudson Valley with her husband, Rye, children, and various pets.

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4 Comments on "Why the Adoption Establishment Annoys the Heck Out of Me"

  1. Carrie | February 29, 2012 at 5:15 am |

    From an adult adoptee (who’s been labelled “angry” before), my sincerest thanks.

  3. RACHEL | March 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm |

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    • Anonymous | April 30, 2012 at 11:30 pm |

      Whoa! Will you not even acknowledge that there are a lot of HAPPY families who have adopted babies that could not or would not be raised by the people who created them? And they do so gladly and LOVE these children dearly. And these children actually grow up HAPPY? Feeling totally loved and not at all ________ (fill in your negative emotion here ). Yes, believe it. I’ve witnessed it repeatedly.

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